what would you tell your younger self....

[St. Eve]

What a great thread.
I would tell my 20 year old self....

1) your shame is really not who you are!
2) You are very lovable exactly as you are.
3) Do not get into a relationship with anyone unless you tell the person you love to dress in women's clothes and they fully accept it and support you.
4) Your family of choice is more important than your family of origin - be truthful and connect with people who love your honesty - those are your real family.

I am happy today and have learned so much and gained so much peace - even though I suffered self loathing and shame in big ways, I can see the value in the journey to today....and, at the same time....it is curious to imagine what my 20 year old would have done with some loving support.

Peace
Eve

[Victoria Demeanor]

Oh I have a twisted mind, I would tell my 20 Y.O. self that "Robots have taken over the world!!!!!" "Stock up on all the tofu you can,,,, it's the only way to defeat them!!!!" Then I would laugh at myself when I got here...te he he., 50 tons of tofu and I hate tofu... Ya my 20 year old self has a good sense of humor, he/I would laugh too.

Okay it was a different time and there wasn't information or resources, but I would tell my self that I wasn't my father and I don't need to prove I'm a man. I would explain to myself that my feelings were not some dark odd fetish and to just allow myself to be me.
I am pretty stubborn, so pretty sure I would listen. I think I would just rather have my 20 year old body back now.

[Jennifer B]

I would have so much that I would tell my 20 year old self. It would go on for a longtime and my 20 year old self would probably think he knows better, which is bad news.

Aside from all the stuff about relationships and life, bad career decisions and friendship issues. I would tell myself to go out into the world much sooner and to let go of the things that I thought were so important to me at the time.

With regards to crossdressing. I would tell myself to use the body I had and go fully en-femme a lot of the time. Not to worry about all the issues I had at the time about gender, sexuality and all the guilt complexes. To get over it all and chillax.

I'd really like to tell myself to live a different life and I'm always weary of people, who when asked this sort of question, say that they wouldn't change anything, because they must have led a charmed life or just not cared less. We've all got demons and done things that we wish we could have avoided. imho.

[kymmieLorain]

I could tell myself a novel full of information. 30 years of me and myself. but to break it down to just a few:

Start shaving everything as soon as possible.
go to aircraft not back to missiles
Study and stay in.
exercise and keep the weight off. To fit in at least 12-14 or less.
Consider less tattoos

Kymmie

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

I don't know if, at 20, I would accept a message from someone claiming to be me from the future. I definitely wouldn't understand about CDing since that wasn't even on my radar at the time. On the other hand, if I could actually go back an inhabit my 20 year old body again and do my life over, I would certainly be more open about expressing my dual-gender nature. I would take some risks of rejection, but that would be preferable to having to deny my full self. It would have certainly kept me out of a lot of pointlress relationships. Oh, and I'd totally get into digital photography when it first comes out.

Bridget

[Adriana Moretti]

as far as cding.....i wouldnt tell my younger self anything....i have enjoyed my journey...I would tell myself not to waste time with girls though......

[Brandy Mathews]

Very well said, all ladies. And I would add that after 30 years that I would still be in dresses and panty hose and heels. But I really do enjoy it. And I'm in a restaurant today, I am sitting at the bar, I look over into the family section and see a beautiful Asian woman applying a very dark, almost purple lipstick. Omg! So sexy. Drives me crazy. And she looks over at me as she is applying it, so yummy!

[sometimes_miss]

I would tell myself that it's permanent; that while I may have some long hiatus between having the desire to crossdress become so great that I cannot hold back any longer, eventually it will return, and that I should not purge under the mistaken belief that I will 'beat this thing'. I would tell myself that while I'm not gay or transsexual, there are some female type feelings I have that will not ever go away, either, and that I must accept that. I would tell myself all about the pink fog, and not to allow wishful thinking to cloud my judgement. Finally, I would tell myself exactly how slim the chance is of ever meeting a woman who will like being the partner of a crossdresser, and how to go about finding out how a potential partner feels about it without outing myself in the process. And of course, I would tell my younger self that the 69 mets would win the series, the winners of all the past 45 years playoff sporting events, that Bobby Riggs would beat Margaret Court but lose to Billy Jean King, the U.S.A. hockey team would beat the Russians, an actor would become president, that Leon Spinks would beat Muhammad Ali, and some unknown guy named Buster Douglas will beat Mike Tyson. Oh yeah, and I'd tell my 14 year old self that my feet were going to grow another three sizes. yeah, that about does it.

[Cheryl T]

1. Never, ever cut your hair short.
2. Find a support group and get out of the closet while you're still young and pretty.
3. Follow your heart.

[DMichele]

The advice Maria's wife provided... 'not to look into it to much or try to figure it out and have fun and just enjoy it'.

[Lacey New]

I would have told any prospective significant other about my crossdressing and would have gained at the very neat, her understanding and hopefully, her pleasure at having a gurlfriend.

[pamela7]

"start wearing ladies/girls clothes immediately, and don't stop!"

[heatherdress]

If I could go back and advise myself at 20, crossdressing thoughts would not be at the top of my list, but would certainly have benefited from self-awareness, acceptance and self-confidence.

I would try to provide some philosophies of life in general that I have learned, often through difficult experiences. I would encourage adherence to strong moral values - always. I would tell myself to develop myself as best I can, to learn more, love more, experience more, take more risks, value every day, learn how to communicate better, learn how to build better relationships, value those who love us better, have more confidence in myself, learn to trust others more, and develop a personal faith to give my life purpose. I think that better self-awareness would have helped me discover who I was more easily and completely.

[Krisi]

"what would you tell your younger self...."

Buy stock in IBM. Later, buy stock in Microsoft.

[mikayla1964]

hmmm there's a lot of things we would have told our selves . I guess if there's 3 things I would have said it would have been. Enjoy it you will always be this way there's no going back so embrace it and have fun. the second thing I would say tell mom so you can have the special girl time shopping and talking that later in life you will wish you could have spent that time with her. third invest your money instead of spending it on building race cars.

[mechamoose]

1) Believe in yourself

2) That person you will meet at the boathouse? Don't let them go.

<3

- MM

[Candice June Lee]

Dont live your life because of others.

Follow your heart and happiness.

stop worrying all the time.

[vicky_cd99_2]

If I could tell my younger self something it would be to follow one path. Don't try to walk the tightrope over the snake pit you have been all this time. Go to college, get a degree and invest your money insted of pissing it away.

[steftoday]

1. Never, ever cut your hair short.
2. Find a support group and get out of the closet while you're still young and pretty.
3. Follow your heart.

I couldn't have written the answer to this question any better.

[CarlaWestin]

Hmmm?

To Me, (40 years ago)

Whoa! Nice hair, dude. What's with the cigarettes you moron! Listen, you gotta know this. All the bad things that happen in life are not some kinda' superstitious retribution form a fictitious higher power that thinks you're some kind of freak. So, knock it off with the guilt trip routine. The reason that you love dressing up like a woman is because you just absolutely love everything female. And quit letting people dump their stress on you! They're all just parasites and you're easy to take advantage of because of your kind nature. Oh, one more thing, moron. Start learning how to do makeup while you still have a baby face.

[fun4metoo2004]

Stay in better shape. Not let yourself go and believe in yourself.

[deebra]

At 20 when I was skinny and female hormone would work at that early age and change your body I would:

1/ Find a Doc. and start taking them
2/ Hopefully find an accepting woman to mentor me
3/ Join a support group and find new friends
4/ Enjoy dressing, passing, living mostly full time and out in public

5/ Trying to hide all of this when visiting family

[kymmieLorain]

Now if it was going back and telling my 15 year old self.
It would be the same as I said but add:
Keep your muscle cars no matter what!!!!
buy stock in Microsoft and Apple.

Kymmie

[kelseygal]

At 20 when I was skinny and female hormone would work at that early age and change your body I would:

1/ Find a Doc. and start taking them
2/ Hopefully find an accepting woman to mentor me
3/ Join a support group and find new friends
4/ Enjoy dressing, passing, living mostly full time and out in public

5/ Trying to hide all of this when visiting family

This ^ except I'm not sure I would advise myself to hide it.

I haven't even fully started dressing yet, just exploring, but know already that had I understood myself then as well as I do now, life would be very different. To the second discussion prompt, I would have listened to myself. Really, I have known from a young boy that I had a desire to be feminine and could make a very convincing case to the young me.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

Yeah... That girl you meet at the new years eve party? STAY, the hell away from her.

That is all.