I remember a few decades ago, when a lot of people (mostly women) spoke and wrote about the need for men to get in touch with their feminine side. They were not meaning wearing pretty dresses and makeup, but that men should participate more in child rearing, household tasks and opening up to others about their feelings. There was rarely any mention of women embracing their masculine side as it was a foregone conclusion that they quite often did. This speaks volumes about how society has always viewed traditional masculinity and femininity. Men tend to be protective of the masculine role as representing strength and power, while women face the "challenge" of competing in this male environment. As a consequence we tend to admire the woman who openly expresses her masculinity by being adventurous, involved in rigorous sports or taking on what was traditionally a male only occupation or profession. The occasional wearing of male oriented clothing has come to be expected and is a non issue. On the other hand we tend to place scorn on a man for going beyond the "prescribed" expectations of child rearing etc. Any further expression of femininity such as clothing, mannerisms etc. are taboo and he can expect derision and worse if he is not extremely careful.
But what are masculinity and femininity? Is the former the exclusive preserve of the males while the latter is found only among the females? Of course not, and the above paragraph illustrates how society does not actually think that. So what then is female identity? Is it the possession of a tremendous degree of "femininity"? The answer is probably a resounding no, as any female member of the armed forces or fire department would tell you. They can compete on a par with their male work colleagues, or be as dainty and feminine as anyone when out on a special date, and they would most definitely consider themselves to be women. Similarly, I and many other crossdressers can look, act and even feel as feminine as any woman, and still consider ourselves to be men.
So how do we determine whether we are getting in touch with our feminine side or identifying as a woman? This is a perplexing question which we can sometimes answer for ourselves, but cannot come up with any overriding rules that fit all, as it is such a highly subjective thing. To answer this for my self, I have devised the following theory.
Masculinity and femininity are elements of human nature, and as human beings we possess the capacity to feel and express all aspects of both to some degree. These, like all the other elements of human nature are subject for that degree to influences such as genetics, environment, experience, heredity, intellect, talent, intuition and so on. As a result, we arrive at a sort of compendium of all these elements that we call our own unique personality, with the capability of being all things, but the likelihood of being a select few. Society, over the ages has tended to look upon some of these elements of human nature as being more masculine in nature and some as being more feminine in nature. It is all very abstract, but it influences how we approach life and our role within it, and it has shown signs of changing from era to era or place to place. A masculine man at one point in history might be viewed as somewhat effeminate in another. My personal feminine side, in all likelihood, is a much more prominent part of my personality than that of the average male, and thus I feel a desire to express and experience that side of my nature, with crossdressing being my preferred outlet. I have no interest in many other typically female types of pursuits however and sense no feeling whatsoever of being female or a woman or even of wanting or desiring to be one. Wanting to emulate in appearance and possibly some mannerisms is quite different from wanting to "be", or feeling that you "are". It encompasses things like attraction, desire, envy, curiosity and so on in an entirely different fashion, and includes factors such as adventure, escapism, relaxation, etc. that have an entirely different significance.
Identity is a more difficult concept to explain, and I must admit to having no answers other than I do not know because I sense no incongruity between my biological sex and my gender identity. From what I have read, those males who identify as female do not necessarily possess more or even less femininity than I do, or for that matter many non crossdressers do. Femininity and gender identity seem to have no bearing on each other, despite sometimes sharing a very strong personality characteristic.
If anyone has any personal insights as to the nature of or causes of a gender identity differing from ones biological sex, I would be very interested in hearing them.
Veronica