Totally not worth it!

[LeaP]

As with many medical procedures, the information you *really* need is provider-level statistics. It's meaningless to rely on a population-wide complication rate when the complication rates for YOUR surgeon is different. Any surgeon will have issues, sometimes their fault, sometimes the facility's, related providers (anesthetist, aftercare nursing, etc.), sometime's no-one's in particular. Very different, though, if a surgeon makes a mistake on one out of 1000 vs. one out of 10 .. The latter could still be superb and the next 1000 might be stellar, but I would want a really careful conversation before selecting them!

[Rogina B]

As with many medical procedures, the information you *really* need is provider-level statistics. but I would want a really careful conversation before selecting them!

And it is the surgeon's entire team as well ! A friend here in Jax is now mute from FFS surgery in Boston recently. "Intubation procedure" paralyzed her vocal chord[s]..

[PretzelGirl]

April, every time I read your story I hurt more for you. No one can imagine all you have been through.

This has certainly made me think. It is similar to being pre-transition and you have to think about all the potential loss. If you decide to continue to move forward, there is a message in that. My surgery is scheduled and I am still going to move forward. I need it. I will tape my fingers and toes crossed as I go in....

[Jessica EnFemme]

...two surgeries, and 3 inches of depth. But it looks natural and I can orgasm... I went for a much less invasive procedure, no vaginal cavity, no dilation, much less healing time. Less chance of complications.

Angela, is there a name for that procedure? I'm facing surgery now with all the dilation problems, and that sounds ideal (if not too good to be true)..

[LeaP]

I don't understand - isn't 3" of depth a 3" vaginal cavity?

[emma5410]

Angela, is there a name for that procedure? I'm facing surgery now with all the dilation problems, and that sounds ideal (if not too good to be true)..

Dilation is a chore and if it is painful, as it is unfortunately for Arbon, it can be terrible. But for most people it is just something that you have to do. It takes a lot of time to begin with but reduces as the months go by. After six months I was down to once a day and could probably have reduced it earlier. It is no big thing now just a part of my daily routine.

I am really sorry for what has happened to Arbon but I really do not think that is a typical experience. The vast majority have no major issues. I have had no complications and I can orgasm. I could say that I was lucky but I think my experience was fairly typical. I am still in touch with two people who had the op at the same time and they are the same. I met someone in the hospital who had SRS three years before and she was fine and had returned for FFS.

I considered having a limited op like Angela but decided it would be better, for me personally, to keep my options open. The chances of having a relationship may be slim for me but you never know and not being able to have full sex could be a problem.

[Angela Campbell]

I don't understand - isn't 3" of depth a 3" vaginal cavity?

Angela, is there a name for that procedure? I'm facing surgery now with all the dilation problems, and that sounds ideal (if not too good to be true)..

Lea, the small area is more of the result of the labia folds. Not a real vagina. But the appearance is perfect. No scarring at all, the incision points are hidden. Not useful for intercourse, * but serves my purposes. ( * unless the guy was pretty small)

My surgeon called it srs, but was able to offer variations. This option offered less intrusive procedure, better healing time, and lower cost.

[karenpayneoregon]

For me gender reassignment surgery was not a cure but part of my journey, many seems to see gender reassignment surgery as something that fixes things but that is not the case. One must be right with themselves prior to gender reassignment surgery. I do hope things are going better for you as time passes.

[Michelle789]

@Karen, you're absolutely right. For me, living authentically and bringing my body in alignment to my mind are my primary transition goals. Sometimes, we place too much emphasis on SRS. Afterall, society is so fixated on genitals defining our gender that it's tempting to think that getting SRS will fix everything.

The reality is that SRS is worth something, and if we're extremely dysphoric about our genitals, SRS can seriously help to relieve that. Not only that, but in many cases further facial or body feminizing, or anxiety & depression relief, may come from SRS, and the fact that your body is permanently blocking the testosterone, while before SRS you were taking spiro to suppress testosterone production, but all mighty T still fights back. We may feel complete having the right parts down there and incomplete with the wrong parts.

However, SRS is not the holy grail of transitioning, and neither is passing. SRS is risky surgery, and like any other surgery, comes with many complications. FFS and BA can cause complications too.

What I think happened to April is that she experienced serious complications with SRS that she is questioning whether or not the very crude, rudimentary transition process, is even worth it. My belief is that life would have been easier for April had she been born a cis-woman, with the right genitals and without all her male baggage, and she would not have had to go through this painful, difficult, risky process. She would not be dealing with dilation and other complications of SRS had she been born a cis-woman instead. She also says that she wishes she could have just been a regular guy, because had she been a regular guy, she would have not had to go through transition and SRS.

Either way, had April been cis-gender, either cis-male or cis-female, she wouldn't be facing the complications of SRS. And the realities for transition are extremely high, and while April passes well and has socially transitioned well, she faces severe SRS complications. Other transwomen may have had a successful, complication free SRS, but lost everything in the process, and not pass very well and face endless discrimination because they don't pass. They may face similar regret because their quality of life has suffered just to be authentic.

Even the luckiest transwomen who end up being passable, attractive, had successful SRS with no complications, and socially integrated well, still had to go through a tremendous amount of suffering to get there. All the years and decades of dysphoria and living a lie. The painful transition process just to get there. The financial cost of HRT, electrolysis, and surgeries. The trials and tribulations of socially integrating into society as a woman after decades of being socialized as a man can be quite challenging.