Dear hearts,
Thank you all for bringing so much colour, fun and fascination into the last year. I feel like I belong to a very exclusive and wonderful club, full of warmth, and a cast of characters beyond a screenwriter's wildest dreams.
My crossdressing, though it's happened occasionally since my teens about 40 years ago, suddenly burst into an obsession in July 2014. It burned brightly for a few months, then under the pressure of circumstances, faded away to the extent that I haven't put on make up for many months- I've lost count. I still underdress, as I have my entire adult life; still wear the occasional piece of female clothing about the house, and still buy things- quite recently 3 new wigs, a fishtail Goth skirt, some gorgeous Goth leggings and some divine Cosabella mesh thongs in a range of pretty colours.
But the crossdressing itself has all but stopped. For now. I don't doubt that it will start again, and I don't worry about it. There has never been guilt attached to it for me, or shame, or even that much embarrassment- most of my friends, and my wife, and all my exes, know about it and have seen pictures; a few have seen me dressed. But my wife is uncomfortable about me doing it where we live, and I respect her wishes, so it will probably only happen on my rare visits to the UK.
I've learned a lot about other people, by being here on this forum. It's been an eye-opener for instance to learn how many men do feel ashamed of being a crossdresser. To all of you I quote my favourite forum quote, from one of the members whose constant good sense I admire greatly: in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."
To those of you embarking on relationships: be honest about it from the start. Don't imagine repressing it is going to work long term. If your SO rejects you for it, better now than later, and they weren't the right one for you anyway. Fear of loneliness is a powerful incentive to try to be something you are not, and ultimately the dishonesty will come back and bite you in the ass.
And to all you glorious creatures, with your creaking bone corset stays, your unfeasibly tight undergarments, and your unflagging dedication to supporting retail sales of make up, camouflage and plus-size ladies shoes-
God bless you all.
Nikki
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