Conversation with my wife.

[jules]

Had a talk with my wife yesterday and we talked briefly about where I was heading. I told her I am proably going to get breast because they are already increased by a inch. She asked if Julie was strait or gay? I like girls and that's it. I told her it's about who you are on the inside not how you dress. At least that is it is for me. She is scared about me losing my job and our friends witch I can understand totally.
She is worried about our son. Again totally understandable.
When she asked if I going to let the cat out of the bag I said I don't know.
I will have to play it by ear. I am not going to put us in a situation where I am going to ruin us but I can't stop becoming who I am.
It's only been on this since may so I have time.
I told her mentally I'm good really good. Starting to enjoy my life and looking forward to each day.
Sometime I get this over whelming sense of guilt and I break down. It gets a bit much to process these new feelings sometimes.
We talked about how I don't dress around her or be myself I guess and it's not fair because I'm not giving her the chance to see if she can Handle it. I told her I don't around her because some days I'm just tired and and pj's and a tee shirt is good. But will have to be fair and be more who I am.
She told me how my face has changed a little and it's not so rough around edges and I when I stand it's not very manly. She did not say in a hurtful way just so you know.
So right now we will see where this go's. She made it quite clear that she is not attracted to women and she dose not know if she can Handel this but will see.
All I can do is hope for the best.
Though I would share some real life with you.

Hugh
Jules

[dreamer_2.0]

Thank you for sharing, Jules. That was a hard conversation, you're strong for doing it and getting things out in the open. Good on you and best of luck things work out!

[Nadya]

Thanks for sharing this. My wife struggles with where I'll be going as well. She has told me similar things about attraction. :/ It's a hard conversation to have but it is definitely important. I hope it works out for you and your wife. <3

[SusanMarie]

I keep in mind that my SO is going thru this experience too...just from a different point of view...really, really important to remember that communication and support is a two way street.

[jules]

I know about keeping up good comuication. But sometimes I close off and can't help it.
Like I said I have a lot to learn and it's been confusing and hard all the same time. And I am scared to death.
She is worried and confused and also finding this very hard.
She supports the hrt but did not relized I would be taking them forever and just how much i was going to change.
I wish I could give her a cut and dry answer but I can't. I'm just going to let it play out and see where it go's.
I will have to deal with the consequences as they come.
When we were talking I don't think she really understood how I was feeling inside.
I 5ild her how my doctor (I have 2) said that he could not belive how fast I started this because he thought it would take a year with the therapist before anything happened.
I told my wife that I was just honest with him and the shit I went through with other doctors before I finally found one how understood and could help.
Now my wife understands how bad I was. (I think I hope)
I really hope we are one of the few that make it.
Time will tell.

[Janelle_C]

Jules this was the hardest conversation I ever had to do. At the end of that two hour talk that I told my wife that I had to transition, all she could tell me then was I love you today and I can't imagine not loving you. We had been married almost 32 years then and we just celebrated 34. I think one of the reasons we made it was in was always 100% honest with her. I told her that I would answer any question she had honestly, but she need to be able to hear the answer.
I hope you guys make it, I know it's had!

[Barbara Ella]

Jules, it is a very hard discussion to have, and even harder to realize it is one that goes on forever as you continue to advance in your transition. Had this conversation with my wife some two years ago when i went on HRT, again when I started electrolysis, and most likely in a year when facial work is needed, and some body work. She remarked about seeing more won=man each week as the changes took place, and now says I am a woman. She is not attracted to women, but we are old enough where that does not pose any problem. She has her needs to have a man around at times, and requires the community not know, although our daughters and their family know. She has been a trooper as i continue to move forward, albeit slowly. Keep up the communications, and don't be afraid about expressing your needs and listening to hers. We are moving forward happily, they are left in place not knowing what is happening.

Hugs,
Barbara

[ErikaS]

Thank you Jules
I struggle the same as you with my wife it's hard after 20 years together but we are going slow. Is nice to know that we all are going down this road so we can learn together. Yes communication is a key part. I am also scared of the how to deal with part but I told my wife this is something I needed to do for me. So thank you.
My wife wants to try and meet another couple who are going through this to contune the marriage to seek some wisdom and answer questions she has.

Good luck
Erika

[Suzanne F]

Jules
Hang in there! This is a process for our wives that we cannot control. I know my wife is so supportive. However, she is overwhelmed by Suzanne right now. I need to love and support her and it is a difficult journey. You are not alone!
Suzanne

[jules]

Thank you ladies. I know I'm not alone. I am glad I could help Erika. We have been married for 24 years and hopefully it will be another 24.
I just hope by posting what is going on in my life on hrt helps other women out there. I know it's not much but everything helps I hope.

Jules