Observations, Perspectives and Experiences

[Sophie Yang]

Last night my wife was driving us through downtown Portland on our way to the comedy club. The comedy club is in a rougher part of town. While sitting at a stop light I observed 6 young women at the corner, nicely dressed, taking selfies, and looked they were going to have a fun evening. I said, “Well there’s trouble in the making,” in a nice way, my perspective. Earlier in the drive, I also noticed a small group of young men, four or five, hanging out on another corner in low rider jeans smoking. I made the observation that they were there, possible trouble, but made no comment.

When we were getting close to the club, my wife said there are way too many homeless here. After circling a couple of times, she found a parking space four or five blocks from the club. My wife walks faster than I do especially if I am in heels, which I wasn’t for the walk to the club. As we were walking to the club, she kept changing which side of the street we were walking on. After the show on the walk back, she did the same thing changing sides of the street. She finally said that she was trying to avoid walking on the same side of the street where we would have to pass a guy either coming towards us or just standing on the sidewalk. I noticed these guys as well, low threat assessment, my perspective. She must have had a much higher threat assessment. These guys did not look homeless to me.

Either on the walk to or walk back, she made some remark about it being a male privilege to just walk without having to think about it, her perspective. I was aware of our surroundings and did not perceive it as much of a threat. When I lived in San Francisco, I would walk amongst the homeless in both male and female dress both during the day and at night. I only avoided those with obvious mental disorders, those talking to themselves or screaming at the world in general. I never really had a problem with the homeless in San Francisco, my perspective.

These are just some of my observations and thoughts from last night. You all be safe when out and about, especially if you have your wife or SO with you. The comedy show was very funny. We are going again next Saturday, possibly my brother and his wife will join us. They could not last night.

[VictoriaBabes]

As Victoria I find it a lot easier to walk by men than women. The men usually look at my body rather than the facial features. Women are very good at spotting certain male features.

[pamela7]

I have a similar perspective, but there are dangerous places ( i remember visiting Northern Ireland before it had calmed down, and that was scary, very scary).
I remember a long time ago as a young adult walking London backstreets at night, fearful of attack any moment. Many years later I was walking the same streets, just feeling the love, knowing there was no danger. We do create our own fears, and only once they are faced and transcended can we walk unafraid in the dark places of the world.

Prey animals radiate fear, the predators feel it and cue into their targets. The same is true for human predators. When they sense you are not afraid they will leave you alone (unless a drunken mob happens along, just be aware!).

[Shelly Preston]

I once came across a guy who seemed a little drunk, who was kicking around a beer bottle to the middle of a road and back to the side.

Was I sure it was totally safe....No

As a result I chose to pass as he was moving to the middle of the road.

It always depends on the individual situation. You wife may decided to be extra careful with you in heels.

[Tracii G]

She used her intuition and thats is fine.

[Krisi]

You touched on something that as males, we often forget or don't think about. Women often fear being attacked by strange men, especially at night or in the "bad" part of town. That's why they typically don't go out at night alone. As men, we don't have this fear, we have the illusion that we can beat the crap out of anyone who bothers us. The truth is, we probably can't but we don't think about it.

The reason I post this is that so often a new crossdresser will post how she dresses and walks late at night or early in the morning in a park or deserted neighborhood. A real woman would not do this and the crossdresser looks out of place and is exposing herself to physical attack or being investigated by the police.

[BillieAnneJean]

When OUT enfemme I follow the same patterns as a real woman would. That way I have ramped up my caution and have thus far avoided any issues. Even though I am a guy in a dress, the clothes, shoes, nails, purse, all make me more vulnerable.

Male privilege also includes the privilege to register for Selective Service, the possibility of The Draft, dying in a foreign land, the expectation that we will protect the woman that a guy is with against any and all, that if it is yucky or dangerous it is our job, and if she chooses the guy will be the primary breadwinner. It isn't entirely a privilege.