Recognized?

[funlovinlocal]

My SO and I have been talking a bunch about going out, as I still haven't really done it. I've always thought maybe I'd take an evening trip somewhere else than the town I live. Unfortunately, my town is easily the most friendly for everyone in the area. I'm just worried about seeing someone I know, even at a club.

So here comes the question. My SO says that she thinks I look so different from guy mode that no one would even recognize me in passing. Has anyone found this to be the case with themselves? I find it hard to believe but highly value her opinion obviously. Can I/we look that much different?

Steph

[pamela7]

it is true, people would not realise, do not know, even very close friends. It is the context, the wig, make-up, clothing. So many people are face-blind and so just don't "see".!

[Danitgirl1]

Hi Steph
I obviously can't speak to/for you but FWIW I recently walked right past 2 current and 1 former colleague on the same day within about 45 minutes from the first to the last encounter. We were in the mall (it was busy) and I was within about 3 metres of each of them. Not one of them recognised me.
Also last week we were in the same (rather quiet) restaurant as a former sports club-mate (admittedly the last time I saw him was about 10 years ago) and he did not seem to recognise me either...
Of course if I had spoken, or if they had seen me in my car it may have been different, but a casual encounter and you should be fine.
I reckon you should be fine.
HAVE FUN!!!

[Krisi]

I have thought about this a lot. You can probably disguise yourself well enough that away from your home and car, most folks would not recognize you. I have done this myself, several times. If you go out with your wife, that changes because once they recognize your wife, they will either figure out who you are or ask your wife who you are. It's best to go to another town and dress there.

Some folks though are distinctive enough that they would be recognized regardless of clothing or makeup. It's the way they walk or the way they carry themselves.

[mykell]

looked at your profile, with the larger photo of you there you seem pretty convincing with your look, (the black and white is stark and hides detail, in color you may shine even brighter) and as mentioned your voice would probably give you away,

best of luck and have the fun you deserve.....

[michelleddg]

This is a topic I have a lot of interest in. Think you'll find this thread to be relevant:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ed)&highlight=

Hugs, Michelle

[Di]

With my spouse Sherlyn wayyyy back when we were first dating 10 yrs ago we went everywhere and even once were right beside Shers mom and sister and they did not know.
BUT NOW
We are married
I have met them all and Shers work mates ect ect
So now the problem is me.... I am very outgoing and when anyone sees me they run over to me.I could still introduce her as Sherlyn and no one would know .. But she frets over her voice.

So now we try to go places family and work mates will not be or a town away as Sher wants to seperate it from work ect.
We still get to go out a lot .... But I just have to be mindful that people know me here now ( we lived in 2 different country's dating)

[jenniferinsf]

i have a cd friend who when he dresses looks completely different than when he is in his male mode...he says that even at a party someone he knew did not believe it was him....so yes it can happen.....

[Cheryl_Layton]

I think it all depends on where and in what context you are seen. If you leave your house or are in your car then people that know you will probably ‘clock’ you. However, if you are in the mall and pass your next-door neighbour then chances are that they wouldn’t recognise you.

My SO, to whom I came out to last week, has seen some photos of me and says that although she sees a woman she also sees the (male) ME (as I do). This, for her, is because she has seen my face probably more times than I have over the years and, I guess, it must be nigh-on impossible to lose the real you to those that know you really well. However, she is fairly confident that strangers would see me as a woman, which is nice to hear.

[Robin414]

My SO, to whom I came out to last week, has seen some photos of me and says that although she sees a woman she also sees the (male) ME (as I do). This, for her, is because she has seen my face probably more times than I have over the years and, I guess, it must be nigh-on impossible to lose the real you to those that know you really well. However, she is fairly confident that strangers would see me as a woman, which is nice to hear.

Good point Cheryl! I think this is a major hurdle in the way of achiecing self confidence en femme as well. If I look at myself in the mirror for too long I see the guy I was and I lose confidence....if I look at a mirror without having for a while (en femme) I don't even recognize myself!

And BTW, you look completely like a beautiful woman IMHO 😊

[Kate Simmons]

There is a girl vs guy thread in the picture forum. Look at some and then decide. Unless someone lives with us every day most won't be recognized by anyone.

[Tracii G]

I have passed several people I know while enfemme and they didn't make the connection.
I think you should listen to your wife on this one.
Kate makes a good point go view the boy vs girl thread.

[~Joanne~]

Yes, but because we see ourselves in the mirror when looking into it, we become our worst critics and will never believe that we look totally different enfemme. My SO tells me that all the time, the change is dramatic and that no one would recognize me if I went out unless she is standing there with me.

[Sarah-RT]

I was spotted by a school acquaintance when I was in an LGBT bar back in July, he himself is gay now it appears, I haven't heard from him since nor from anyone else over it and I live in a small town. My alternate Facebook profile pops up on people I know's suggested friends yet I get no inquisitive friend requests or messages. I told a female friend recently and she said she'd seen the profile and put 2 and 2 together by the mutual friends we had but didn't recognise me but thought I was familiar, I asked why she didn't ask, even if she was wrong.

She said she'd rather I was comfortable enough to tell her rather than putting me on the spot.
If someone you know sees you, as long as they seem like a good person they may be unlikely to approach you or even follow up on it. Live your life and worry less about others, I think more of it is in our heads than others.

[Kelli Jo-ann]

I sat at a poker table with a friend all night and he never knew it was me till the next day. Then he still didn't believe me when I told him.

[MichelleDevon]

Steph, I can speak to this one from very personal experience...

I sing in choirs, my current ones I have been in for about 10 years. There are people in both choirs who know about Michelle. Back in November 2013 I had a day out in London, meeting a friend from Russia whom I had met on the internet. My train home was running late and it was choir practice night. So I got back to the station where I had parked with less than an hour before rehearsal time...which was 1/2 hour drive away. So I had time to grab something to eat or to change. I opted to eat.

So I turned up at choir as Michelle. Those who were in the know were delighted to meet Michelle - their reaction turned what had already been a lovely day into something truly memorable (for all the right reasons). Now in that choir I am a first tenor - so one of only 3 or 4 in that section of the choir. I am 6'4" and the tallest person in the choir. But....(and this is an amazing but)...I know of at least 6 people who were in that rehearsal with Michelle for 2 hours, all of whom had been singing with Stephen for a number of years, who did not realise that it was Stephen who was in their midst. They did not realise until they read my explanatory email of gratitude the next day.

So, yes, you can go to places and meet people you know and they may well not recognise you, especially if you are out of context. I managed even in context. With make-up and hair and different clothes you do look very very different and, when seen out of context, I would say the probability is that you will NOT be recognised.

I would venture the opinion that you are more likely to be recognised by women than by men and, in my experience, women are far less judgemental, usually interested, and are much more likely to spot a face they know than men, so in the unlikely event that you are recognised then I would not anticipate a problem.

Get out there and enjoy being Steph...the worry is only in your head - the rest of the world doesn't give a tinker's cuss!!!!

Michelle
xxx

[Alice_2014_B]

Yes.
We can appear very different.
Especially if your SO already says that in person, you should be more than fine to go out.

[Teresa]

Steph,
I find it annoying that other people tell you this but I'm still not convinced.
My first counsellor almost walked out the room with one of my pictures to ask the receptionist if they had seen the person in the picture enter the building, she bet me they wouldn't recognise me !
When I showed my daughter some pictures she was so surprised how different I looked , she commented that they didn't look like me !

[Carole]

Steph, you don't say whether it would be just you out or you and your SO. If both, then you may go unnoticed but of course your SO will be recognized and unfortunately, by association, so you may be also recognized.

[BillieJoEllen]

Years ago I went to our downtown area fully dressed and took a walk around. It was about fifteen below that night. As I'm walking I looked up and lo and behold I looked in the eyes of a man I worked with. He gave me a strange look and then we both went about our business. I feared for Monday morning because this guy was a big blabbermouth. He didn't care what he said or to whom. He never said anything to anybody. He was probably just trying to stay warm like everyone else.

[CynthiaD]

I look completely different in male mode. I doubt that any of my male mode friends would recognize me in femme mode. There are a number of places I go in both modes, and no one ever seems to make the connection.

[Taylor186]

I think your femme look is unlikely to give you away but your voice will as will being with your SO and maybe even your car, if it is distinctive.

[gailprice]

I have been to several functions dressed fem and have not been noticed by people i know.
I have noticed that to recognize someone you think you may know you will need to really scrutinize that person, which means Staring at them and that gets noticed. So at just a glance we find we dont get noticed so much.
If all that makes sense.........

Gail xxxx

[MissTee]

People have put on a hat and sunglasses to go incognito, and it works. Now, imagine what you can do with a wig, makeup, dress, heels, etc. Totally undercover look. The give-away would be if you were with someone who is not incognito and is regularly seen with you, that might be a challenge.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Another with experience of NOT being recognised by people who know me either in male mode (when dressed femme) or femme (and in male mode). In one case in male mode I introduced myself to someone who knew me very well as Michelle. When I started talking they then made the connection.