My wife claims that people would not recognize me. As someone pointed out we are our own worst critics. I think if you are physically closer the the female physique and dress to blend it would not be a problem.
My wife claims that people would not recognize me. As someone pointed out we are our own worst critics. I think if you are physically closer the the female physique and dress to blend it would not be a problem.
When my wife saw pictures of me for the first time her response was your look was not what I expected and I would have never recognized you!
I would like to ask my wife how I look as Krisi but I'm a bit afraid about what she would say. She accepts or at least tolerates my hobby but I'm sure she would rather see it go away.
The advice I was given for my first outings was to be 25 miles from home in a town where I am not known. That would minimize the chance of being recognized.
If you go out with your spouse You may not be recognized, but if some see you both together they may be good at math....2+2 and all that....
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
When we are out togeather we usually go to another town . The issue is not will they know me but when they see my SO they will wonder who she is with and them maybe look a little closer at me..
Going to another town greatly reduces the chance on running into someone you know but it does not eliminate it. I have been 150 miles from home and someone recognized me (Homer, not Krisi). It happened to a friend of mine as well when we were the same distance from home. A co-worker recognized him.
If you are dressed to pass as a woman (no beard, bald head, etc.), you should do fine. It's the wife walking by your side that will be the giveaway.
Never underestimate "chance"! Hundreds, even thousands miles from home, I have run into people I know. If it's just you dressed and you don't do anything to get you noticed (like double take at them and quickly go the other way), odds are no one will notice. However, if there are other cues -- SO is with you, car, tattoo, scar) then your odds magnify greatly!
I've had a few times where I passed someone in a store that new me and didn't recognize me. Also had a lady i worked with a few years ago wait on me in a fast food restaurant and didn't blink an eye. I'm not sure that would work with close family
About a year ago I was out having dinner with a friend. The restaurant is over an hours drive from where we live, in a sleepy little village.
Her old school colleague came up and questioned if she was the person he sat next too in some classes. This was after a gap of around 20 years
He however did not recognise me even though I knew him too. Since I am few years older I don't think he made the connection.
I Probably at this time the OP already hung out, so my answer will be kind of useless, but here it goes my opinion for future mates that may be thinking about to go out.
I think that the point is a bit more complicated than if you look different when you are en-femme. The problem is to be with your wife. Even if YOU look totally different, keep in mind that YOUR WIFE doesn't. So, remember that someone can recognize your wife hanging out with another girl (you) and just decide to stop by to say hello. And THEN, when very close, a further look can make the other person notice that you are you.
In my opinion, who wants to hang out crossdressed but fear to be recognized will be too much more safe by doing it alone or with another CD. Not with the wife.
Hi Steph, Lets hope that you look different when you get all dressed up, Otherwise why bother.
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Two instances come to mind. The scariest was when a peer of my boss hit on me--I saw this guy day in, day out at my then job, and he had no idea it was me. One other was me passing someone I knew on the street while walking to a night club from my car. She just smiled and said "hi" the way strangers render polite greetings. I know that if either of these particular individuals recognized me, there would definitely have been fallout. So, I think that unless someone is expecting you to show up en femme, that person is not likely going to make the connections necessary to identify you.
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Happened both ways
Went to a popular BBQ restaurant with my partner, another cd and spouse and another cd/ drag queen/performer ( although in drab mode)
We had a great dinner, popular crowded restaurant, waited on by very nice waitress. A few weeks later I went in by myself( in boy mode) for lunch, had the same waitress, she did a double take, smiled. When she would come by to wait on me she asked me how I liked her hair and other "girl talk". Saw her a few more times, before restaurant closed seed.
The other was I advertised my business in a local GBLT newspaper, met the publisher( a lesbian) while I was in Guy mode,
A month later my partner and I went to a play and she met us there, she picked me out of a crowd where we were seated in the back , with around 250 people in the theater.
Another time I passed my neighbor on the street, he knew about Jacqui, but had not seen me out, walked past him, he said hello, but didn't recognize me. I turned around and said hi using his name, he looked confused, looked at me for a minute and smiled when he realized it was me
We can't go anywhere without running into someone who knows my SO. I'm sure they would quickly figure out who I was. Not ready for that drama! We are opting for a trip. That may be a good way for you to ease into the adventure. I see you are from NC, so a trip to South Florida (especially Miami) might work. There so many flavors of people here, you will be invisible.
One thing our therapist mentioned was that 'I may not be recognized but my wife will surely be.' All one needs to do is add it up and then they know who I am. We are going out for a Diversity Weekend up north and I am ready for whatever happens. My wife is comfortable with it, so it's on.
I have never been recognized yet. When we dress and do makeup and fully dressed with bling etc. I think nobody would really recognize us except for my SO as she always has colored hair like purple, green or aqua blue. Yet I'm always called mam and it sometime surprises me that I'm passing okay. But defiantly go beyond where you think your normal crowd is. Like a city away or across the state.
Part Time Girl
That's always been my biggest fear - being recognized. Before my Big Purge a few years back, I frequented local clubs and loved going shopping and just being out. And the more I went out, the less concerned I was about being seen. But on one of my last times out, I was with a couple of friends, all dressed, at a local bar that was frequented by all shapes, sizes and categories of folks - my kinda place. But while there I noticed two of my employees come in with their friends. Eeeiiieeww!!! I hightailed it out of there (as fast as I could in heels) over the objections of my friends who said no one would recognize me. Maybe not, but scared the bejeebees out of me. (Not the reason I purged BTW). Now, starting again and still scared of being recognized by someone who I wouldn't want to know. What to do?!?!?!?
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people don't recognize me at all when fully womanized. the only way they have been able to tell is when I start running my mouth! LOL
I suspect that it's all about context...
Some years ago, I was hurrying, on foot, from my office to a work site and passed a young man whom I thought looked very familiar (but I couldn't think who he was). A couple of weeks later, the same thing happened - same young man, still unable to 'place' him. Some weeks later an aunt died and I was at the funeral. I'm standing talking to my father when this SAME young man walks up and says to my dad, "Hello Uncle Bob"! And suddenly I know EXACTLY who he is. I told them the story of how I had bumped into him two or three times within the previous few weeks and his reply was "yes, I had exactly the same experience. Mind you, I didn't know you worked for ... So I wasn't expecting to see you in ..." It was all about context.
So... Out of context, there's a good chance that even a close relative won't recognise you. Provide them with context (e.g. your distinctive car, walking out of your front door, walking hand in hand with your SO whom they know) and the likelihood of your being recognised increases.
Now if only I could convince myself that I'm sufficiently "out of context" to be "safe"!
Go out a lot on the weekends in and have yet to be recognized. One time I was at a club and this group of girls in a bachelorette party came in. Next thing I know, I am shoulder to shoulder with a female colleague that I had just worked with that very day! Making eye contact and smiling she says; "love your shoes!" Whew.
Now I am more likely to be identified by going out with my wife since she usually accompanies me on our weekend adventures. We thought about having her try one of my wigs if we were very concerned...
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Go out a lot on the weekends in and have yet to be recognized. One time I was at a club and this group of girls in a bachelorette party came in. Next thing I know, I am shoulder to shoulder with a female colleague that I had just worked with that very day! Making eye contact and smiling she says; "love your shoes!" Whew.
Now I am more likely to be identified by going out with my wife since she usually accompanies me on our weekend adventures. We thought about having her try one of my wigs if we were very concerned...
A couple of times, i dressed on Holloween, though i don't ceebrate it, and went ito bothe the dollar store, and the pharmacy. I did not fool them, though i thought i would. At six foot six, and heels, too, they pretty soon read me! I thought i did a really good job presenting, too. But, my voice also helped!!
I checked your previous post of you en femme. I think you can easily pass for a woman. You are attractive with somewhat delicate features. You run the risk when out with your wife to being "hit on" by two guys. Of course, there is a problem if your wife is identified. That may lead to an encounter that is more than a friendly wave. If all you want to do is have a little thrill of being out en femme try a movie that is not in its first week of showing.
Decades ago when I was really really uneasy about being out en femme I made up an invitation to a party where it was required the guys dress in drag. This was before computers and software to photo shop. The invitation did look a little "put together," but, again this was pre-computer. These days it is probably easy to photoshop an invitation that look authentic. I never had a need for it, but, it was like Linus' security blanket.
I know people see me as a guy in a dress, but, my own mother was ready to call the cops on me because she thought I was an intruder in the house. It took a lot of convincing for her to calm down and let me go change back to son instead of daughter.
Live and let dress.
That's why i havent gone anywhere so far.
I want it so badly, everytime i go to a club or somewhere, i want to be one of the girls in there. But i couldnt dare to do it yet.
I am waiting to go another country.
And a question, some of you say with make up and dress you turn into someone else. I shave my beard but it still appears little bit and it bothers me
Can i have smooth looking face with make up? I am terrible at this make up things.
If you don't want to be recognized try it in another town. Understand that there is always a chance to run into someone you know. I've been walking in a store and had someone call my name that lived across the country. It was a totally random chance that we were in the same store. I used to constantly travel and was surprised at the people I would run into. One reason I quit worrying about what I wore and enjoyed life.
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