Why we need Transgender Day of Remembrance

[Rianna Humble]

If any of us needed a reminder of why Transgender Day of Remembrance is necessary, we only need to look at reports such as the thread running in Media about the brutal murder of Keisha Jenkins.

As long as we are nothing more than a statistic, and as long as families are allowed to deny our existence by burying us under our previous identity there will be a fundamental need for events such as this one.

This thread is not about posts saying "look at me, I can quote another one" it is about how these murders make us feel as individuals who are in transition or have completed our transition. It is also about what Transgender Day of Remembrance means to each of us transitioning or transitioned members, please respect that when considering a reply.

[Marcelle]

Hi Rianna,

Ottawa Canada formerly recognizes a Transgender Day of Remembrance on 19 November with a series of flag raising events across the city and nighttime vigil on 20 Nov. Not heavily attended (mainly the TG community) but it is nice to be recognized and draw attention to violence against our community.

Cheers

Isha

[Kate T]

I have no problem with a Transgender day of remembrance. I would hope that we never forget or regard as just a statistic ANYONE who has their life untimely cut short by violence, Transgender or not.

[PretzelGirl]

I assume not all TDORs are the same. But the ones here have been doom and gloom. We are now discussing an accompanying day of action and when reading names, instead of saying how they were taken, we will research their life and have 2-3 lines of who they were.

[PretzelGirl]

I am confused by your statement DeeAnn. TDoR is specifically for the community. I see communities everywhere that coordinate TDoR services for the transgender community to attend. In some communities we also specifically create actions that recognize that these horrors are disproportionate to the Transgender People of Color.

[PretzelGirl]

Maybe it is an area thing, but TDoR is very private here. It doesn't make the news generally. It is a day and associated events where we privately remember.

[Beth-Lock]

I certainly agree that we need at least one day to memorialize our kind, but it is too bad that it is so poorly publicized.

[dreamer_2.0]

I believe my city has some type of service, for lack of a better word, held each year for the TDoR. The importance of such a thing is not lost on me, though I feel compelled to admit I've never actually attended due to my own, ironically, transphobic feelings. I tend to have my own silent vigil and will one day have the courage to publicly support that which I'm privately a part of.

[Rianna Humble]

I would appreciate it if any further comments stick to the posting request of the OP rather than discussing what local papers do or don't report.

Any more off-topic posts will be deleted.

[LeaP]

It is a caution to me. A reminder that my risk profile has changed and that my (largely unthinking) assumptions must as well. It's a reminder that subsets of the community live with extraordinary levels of risk.

Most of the victims are transsexual. Given order of magnitude differences in prevalence rates between TS vs others, I find a "Transgender" DOR curious.

Kate, I don't disagree, but in context, your response smacks of the "all lives matter" response to "black lives matter." TDOR is a WAY of making the point that all lives matter, singling it out because trans lives DON'T matter today.

[PaulaQ]

We read the names of trans people who committed suicide, in addition to those who died at the hands of others, this year at the TDOR service in Dallas.

I'll go to another such service in Fort Worth on Friday.

I hope, in my lifetime, we no longer have need of TDOR. But I doubt that, as just this year in Dallas, a man who murdered his trans girlfriend two years ago, in front of witnesses, was given ten years probation, and no jail time, for her murder. It's open season on us in Big-D, it seems. An event like TDOR reinforces that feeling.

So I expect to attend these services for some time to come. And I wonder each time I attend one, if next year the name of someone know personally will be read. And it also makes me feel we're at war - the kind of war where one side does all the killing, and the other side does all the dying.

[Michelle789]

I agree with the need to remember those who died by suicide too. Sadly, suicide and murder are both rampant problems. Both are ultimately caused by society's hate for us. Both trans people who have yet to transition and who have transitioned commit suicide. Trans murders aren't always walking down the street at 2 am and getting shot or run over by a car repeatedly. Many are caused by those who claim to love us, usually male lovers or family members.

We will definitely be needing TDOR to remember those who have died at the hands of others, or suicide, probably for decades to come.

[PretzelGirl]

It is an difficult conversation on who to include. We had 115 who have been murdered and that was who we would read the names of. At the last second, I added a local suicide to those names I read. I just couldn't let her name not be said. For some reason, this year was more difficult than others. It might be an effect of being closer to so many.

[Kate T]

Lea

My uncomfortableness possibly stems from my perception that I would be somehow claiming a moral high ground that knowing my own faults I am not happy to do. My other feelings I think originate in the paradox of everyone being different and yet at the same time the same. It would be nice wouldn't it if society just saw me as Kate, not "oh, you mean transgender Kate"?

But I understand your argument and in no way do I wish to invalidate nor imply that the struggles of trans individuals should not be recognised.

Ahh, perhaps in a next life we will have a perfect world??