Aww Jacky �� I believe it's destiny. There's nothing else that describes it. I will definitely enjoy and cherish every moment together with my bf while we learn and explore his feminine side.
I hope someday the world opens its eyes and becomes less hateful to people who are different. The world needs to not fear abd judge, but try and understand and accept. We're all human...all here for the same things...love and happiness. ��
Last edited by Sandra; 10-16-2015 at 10:06 AM. Reason: No need to quote the post directly above yours please read the rules regarding quoting posts
Hi Lexi,
It is disappointing that according to what you said, your boyfriend seems to feel uncomfortable with your encouraging behaviour. It gives me the impression that perhaps he is not really into crossdressing, that maybe it is not even a fetiche for him and it is only kind of a phase. If that is the case I am really sorry, I think you deserve a guy that is not afraid in embracing and expressing his femininity, one that can notice the immense beauty in you, one that can see you as an incredible girl, like a sort of an angel.
If you consider it necessary, I will be pleased in helping you to find that brave and feminine looking guy. You only need to send me a private message so we can discuss the situation...
It's different for everyone.Originally Posted by lexi0922
He's the only one who can answer your question and with the CDing, things tend to develop gradually and become clearer years down the road sometimes. This is why it is difficult for our SOs to answer our questions. They just don't know yet. And there are lots of other factors that can change the equation over time like just normal aging and how his personality will change, your relationship dynamics, his and your life experiences, the reactions of other people when he is out dressed, etc.
Chances are this is not a phase. He likely will always want to crossdress although the intensity of his needs might ebb and flow depending on what is going on in his life.
If it is a fetish (or if you prefer ... a sexual preference), this likely won't go away entirely. People seldom are able to change their sexual preferences. It can morph to just feeling a general level of excitement when dressed without necessarily having it be sexual each time (libidos do decrease as we age). Also, what a lot of people call "fetish" here doesn't necessarily always play out in the bedroom. Some CDers seem to have a thing about being a sexy (or pretty, or beautiful) woman, just like your bf, and when they accomplish this the brain is flooded with dopamine (to different degrees in different people) and it either turns them on or it gives them a sense of euphoria, or just a general sense of well-being. But, if the two of you like to play in the bedroom when he is dressed, then I seriously doubt he would want to put an end to that.
Just make sure to keep the lines of communication open, and give yourselves permission to take a break should either one of you want a break once in a while, without judgment.
We have that!
Reine
Saw an episode of "Baggage", kind of a dating game hosted by Jerry Springer (so that tells you something about it). A girl was deciding between three guys. All had to reveal what their baggage was, going from a little thing to bigger. She had picked her guy, then had to reveal her biggest baggage. Hers was that she forces her man to crossdress in the bedroom(!). The guy turned her down because of this(!). Like lexi0922, she was one of those who was apparently enthusiastic about it. They do exist.
Hi Lexi,
A word from an older CD and now transitioned TG; IMHO, the desire to dress never goes away. Transition is another VERY personal choice and is different for everyone. If you are into the academic I recommend the book "GRRL ALEX" by Alex Drummond. Alex is a British TG who identifies as female but would be ripped to shreds by the "self appointed" guardians of 'transition' over on the TS side of this site. Alex is a credentialed psychotherapist and so has some real credibility in the field.
In the end it is ALL a personal decision and how it plays out is decided by what works for you.
Transgender folk are like snowflakes, when you've seen one, you've seen one.
Life is a journey, enjoy the ride.
BTW, Alex also has a web presence but not a large one.
Be well and have fun
Sandra1746
It won't go away but it will ebb and flow during life and it will morph and probably become stronger with age. For many there are aspects of fetishism involved with cross dressing but it is more than that. It will also change in its expression, so be prepared for that.
I would recommend that you read as much as you can about cross dressing and relationships. There are many good books available. Take a look on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. Talk a lot and be very open. If you can find a professional counsellor who has experience in this area I recommend a session or two to set you on a good path of discovery. However, beware counsellors who have little or no experience with cross dressers. Knowledge is vital.
Thank you everyone for your advice, encouragment, compliments etc...
I asked him several questions today about if he thinks it's a phase, would Jr ever go out to a dressing event, does he think he'll get more into it... And all his answers made me smile.
We're on the right path. It's just going to take time to figure it all out.
My day has been made!!
Hi Lexi. Some cders/tg people are gender fluid meaning that the degree of male and female that they feel fluctuates. Sometimes they may feel mostly female and then the next day they may feel mostly male. Sometimes they may feel 50/50 and its unique to the individual, they may fluctuate hourly, daily, weekly etc. My mixed gender is fixed so I dont fall into the catagory of gender fluid but it could possibly explain why your bf sometimes is not as enthusiastic as you about dressing. Perhaps his enthusiasm reflects the gender he is feeling most at the time. Im not saying this is the answer, you two will have to explore whether or not this fits but it could be an explanation.
Lexi, You are a wonderful woman. Hope he knows it. I too have a GF that is wonderful. I appreciate her and let her know all the time. It is a great relationship for two that can communicate and enjoy the different type of life it offers. For me, I am gender fluid and would never transition. Yet when I switch to female, I am female at that time and it is very special to be able to express that.
Part Time Girl
To Lexi (and Reine), only one word comes to mind......WOW! You are both extremely rare women and belong on pedestals! Most of us here can only dream of such acceptance (and encouragement) from our significant others.
Lisa
It makes me so happy to read all these great comments.
My bf thinks I'm very special. He tells and shows me everyday. He told me today after makeup shopping that I'm something most people only dream of.m I nearly cried lol
If you would have asked me this when I was your age, I would have definitely said it was a passing phase. In fact, I got married about that time and (almost) completely quit crossdressing for the next ten years. I couldn't get it out of my mind, though. I would search for and find female domination and transgender themed literature to fuel my fantasies. In those days, before the internet, you had to go to adult bookstores or read Penthouse Letters and stories in magazines like Variations. Being a fetishist was a lot more work than it is now! Once I got divorced, the floodgates opened but I was more into Femdom than CD at that time. It wasn't until I got married again that I took up CDing again. For the second marriage I made damn sure that we were sexually compatible. My first wife was a bottom and so was I. She wanted me to take charge, be rough with her, use her and all I could say was, "Yeah, I know exactly how you feel." LOL! What happens when two bottoms have sex? Nothing! I wouldn't say that my wife is enthusiastically into my CDing but she has fun with it and requests it at times. I let her be in charge with what goes on in the bedroom. Does it go away or become something more? So far, for me the answer is no.
@stevie
Like you, I'm highly into the sissy and femdom stuff like foot worship, etc. I'm debating on quitting for awhile though, in hopes of finding a partner who is open to this stuff. I feel like keeping this open in a relationship is absolutely key. I can also be dom though. Obviously not preferred, but I have my moods
I'm sure you know how addictive this stuff can be when satisfied alone though, lol.
You two are really lucky to have found each other so have fun with it enjoy life and experiment.
Go out together as girlfriends and have a great time while you are young.
You do need to realize if he isn't into dressing that day don't push him because he still needs to feel like a guy every now and then LOL.
PM me if you ever need to ask questions I would be happy to help if I can.
Thank you Tracii 😁
We're planning a video game date as a girls day together lol. He's getting more into it and I'm pretty happy. I do understand the not pushing too much. I still like to have a man around lol
That sounds like fun lexi.
Being comfy with each other and keeping a healthy balance sounds like a great way to live life.
The Yin Yang approach is how I live my life and its been working out just fine. Balance and harmony are awesome if you are lucky enough to be able to attain it.
I wish you both love and happiness
I have liked dressing since early teens some times part time other times all the way. Opened up to wife after married about a year. She totally loved my outing my secret to her. She even hinted at some lesbian thoughts, so when we go out as girls she is happy being out as girl friends. When she packs for vacation, it's always ladies clothes. One male outfit just in case. The last 20 years have been great and getting better.
Last edited by wilt575; 10-17-2015 at 03:12 PM.
Hi Lexi!
You are definitely doing the right thing by talking and taking your time. I wish you the both the best as you learn more with each other!!
Thanks for sharing!
Tracii, I love the yin yang reference. I believe we are like that throughout all our relationship. Job, responsiblities, loving, etc. We're a team. 😁
And Wilt...I've always thought I could be bi. I think the womans body is beautiful. But I really really prefer a feminine guy. And I'm happy I finally got one
Hanging out as girls playing video games? Sounds like a good day to me. Hey, did you check out that Sonic Youth song I recommended? Not the happiest of songs, but on topic and kind of bada$$
@Scarlett yes I did!! I liked it. My kind of music
Fetish? Probably a lot of that at the moment. A phase? I would guess not, at least not meaning that it is something that will go away, probably will change, develop in some ways, fade in others. It will be different for you two, because you are younger than a lot of us, have been exposed to a lot of stuff on the internet that us older folks never even imagined growing up. I'm sure that even so, your BF had times of confusion, fear, self disgust, all that growing up. That, I hope, means that he has less repression to get past, all those layers of confusion and misunderstandings, and horrible stereotypes that far too many of us on here can tell you about.
I am extremely fortunate, that at my advanced age, I found a woman that didn't flinch when I told her about my dressing, and found me interesting enough to take a chance on. Even so, I'm still a bit envious of your BF, my partner isn't terribly into it, not against it, but it's nothing exciting to her as it is you, and we are not terribly close in sizes and no invitations to share her clothes. She has given me stuff that she no longer wears, but her day to day stuff is off limits. Le sigh.
Just keep lines of communication open, and be open and honest with each other. Sounds like you are off to a good start!
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
lexi, she is very happy with her feminine guy. What I meant say or imply was, when were out as girls, she doesn't mind people looking at us thinking we are lesbians.
@Wilt
I gotchya!! That's awesome. I asked my bf once he gets more comfortable with his look if he'd try going out with me in public as two girls...and he said yah, he could see it happening. 😁
Also sidenote... I think I know he's pretty serious about all this...he committed to shaving his legs. That was a nice treat! Made them easier to massage too lol.
Wow great reading all this! If there is any doubt that you are there for him, you should have him read your comments here. What a supportive wonderful person. He is lucky and clearly you are too. I think it is so wonderful you are young and exploring together. In my case though being older there was no internet to learn from so felt really isolated. I finally came out to my wife after over 20 years of marriage (now 10 years ago),and she has become supportive. But I still enjoy my alone time to dress up. I guess it was always hidden so awkward to share to much. Enjoy the journey, sharing what makes each other very happy is the ultimate gift.
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