Thoughts whilst en-femme

[Cheryl_Layton]

So there I was, dressed en-femme, walking alongside my sister in a busy town having just had lunch and having paid a visit to the makeup section of a department store.

‘So how do you feel? Have you adopted a different persona?’ she asked as we ambled along the street. This really made me think about me and my CDing. ‘I still feel like myself,’ I told her, ‘but it just feels so nice to be able to dress stylishly and to be able to move in a more graceful manner’.

Although I didn’t say it at the time, I should have added that I really enjoy the whole ‘act’ of being a woman. For example, eating more delicately, getting in and out of the car in a more dignified way, speaking more femininely (or as best as I could) etc.

Can anyone else remember how they thought about their CDing whilst out and about en-femme?

[Pat]

I had similar feelings. It's interesting to me that when you decide to present female you start to discover the places where maleness isn't a good fit for you. If you dress and suddenly find you eat more delicately and you enjoy that -- there's no reason why you can't eat delicately as a male except somewhere along the line you picked up the message that to blend with the guys you have to eat like the guys. Same applies to all the other things you list. You start finding the boundaries between your natural self and The Mask you wear as a male. Sure there are "mask" behaviors to presenting female as well, but the key is find the behaviors that you enjoy in each mode. Once I identify behaviors I like in either presentation, I try to adopt them no matter how I'm presenting. I'm hoping that gets me to the Real Me. The journey is still on, so I don't know what the outcome is yet, but it seems like a good strategy so far.

[Beverley Sims]

I never had time to think about it when out with my girlfriends, all we did was have a good time and giggled a lot.

They were a great support base for me.

[pamela7]

i agree with you both, the male persona is the mask Jennie, in my opinion.
i love it when i find myself chatting with a GG friend and spontaneously being feminine in gestures, wording, exclamations, and get the feedback that "i'm a hoot" (English English for highly entertaining, as opposed to the well-known bar chain!).

[BillieAnneJean]

I too enjoy the changes in my behavior when I am dressed. Yet when I am back to guy which is the majority of the time, by my choice, I revert back to the guy behavior. I am not talking about anything negative as I have tried my best to be a gentle and considerate person at all times. But when enfemme, the stride, the arm movements, getting in to and out of a car or (more difficult because of the height) to/from my truck, or the small sports car (more difficult because of how low it is), going up/down stairs, sitting modestly in a dress or skirt, the posture of the body when sitting, the posture when walking, all significant from my guy self.

I guess these are but a few of the things that I enjoy so much about my SO. I hope she feels the same way about my guy movements.

[Krisi]

I sort of snuck up on going out as Krisi. Driving with a bra and boobs, Driving and getting out of the car in the evening with a cheap wig, bra and boobs and my wife's blouse but my own jeans and shoes, etc. Eventually, I got the nerve to walk in the downtown part of the nearby city. I was terrified. I was walking along the sidewalk when three women came around the corner. One said "good morning" so in my best Michael Jackson voice, I replied "yes, same to you".

I'm a little more at ease now, I have more experience, better clothes and foundation garment's etc., but I still keep moving as much as I can. I have nobody to go out with and couldn't pull off sitting at a table in a restaurant and ordering lunch.

[susan54]

Aha. Another actor. I was beginning to think I was alone on this site! I love the different walk, that moment when you first step out of the car, bag over shoulder, and the heels start to click on the road. I go out less than I used to but I am doing so on Friday, possibly with a hotel overnight as Susan. I am going to a stylist's open day (quite a long way away) where I can try shoes, bags, jewellery and clothes in my colours. I told the stylist I was a cross-dresser and she seems almost as excited about me coming to her day as I am - but not because I am a cross-dresser - but becaise I am a very rare colour/style personality (gender independent). Of course the outfit for visiting a stylist has to be chosen with great care ....

I only wear make-up and wig when going out (apart from occasional lippy) and I don't feel like a woman - I feel elegant and well-dressed - and women seem to love the way I look and move (they know I am not a woman). That feeling of confidence and the feedback from women are wonderful. The expression I use to describe myself is gender tourist.

[Kate Simmons]

Other than the biology, most of it is learned behavior which is why good actors such as ourselves can pull it off so easily.

[Cheryl_Layton]

I never had time to think about it when out with my girlfriends, all we did was have a good time and giggled a lot.

Hey! That's not fair!
By our very nature we CDers are supposed to be full of anxiety, angst and neuroses! We can't have CDers going out and having a good time. That will simply not do! lol

C x

[SweetVicky]

Hi Cheryl,
In November 17 2015 I'll be strolling the streets of Wilton Manors, for about 2 weeks, for the first time as a sexy crossdresser and just can't wait. Love the adrenaline when dressing up and walking in public, hopefully this time into bars and restaurants...got new heels, new dress and more for the occasion ......really..just can't wait! I've already have for sort times, including pumping gas at a gas stn. and being observed and smiled by two hunks in the other bay...jijijijijiji.....great feeling!!!

[Tracii G]

My male side is a mask or persona.
My girl side is soo much more me.
After my shower today I found myself talking on the phone with a GF while I was braiding my ponytails.
We were planning a shopping trip for Saturday just gabbing along and she asked me what I was doing, so I told her and she said OMG you are such a girl you have learned to multi task.LOLOL

So yeah I feel like myself which is 80% female and 20% male

[njcddresser]

I have only been dressing for a couple years but feel that I have gotten to a very similar place that you have. It has become so much more than just wearing woman's clothes. My thoughts and mannerisms have become much more feminine. I enjoy wearing a little make up and perfume because it makes ME feel happy. I don't care what others may think.

I look at the entire world differently now and have never been happier!

[Cheryl T]

One thing sticks out. My wife and I were returning from a support group meeting and she made the comment "you act very feminine". Without hesitation I just said, "I'm not acting".

[Saikotsu]

Honestly, I rarely think about it. When I'm dressed like a woman I don't obsess over the fact. I'm just being me. It's as natural as breathing. Unless I'm in public. Then I get super paranoid that people have noticed/are noticing. But in general, it's not something I really think about.

Usually I feel it most pronounced when I'm "shifting" from one gender identity to another of when I hit one of the extremes and I'm not matching it.

For example, last night I was mostly male. Midway through the night I was hit by a pang of longing to be a woman. So I switched over my presentation. For a while I was satisfied, but I got hit again shortly before bed. Suddenly, those women's clothes and forms just weren't enough.

[transfeminate]

My wife has commented more than once that I am more feminine and softer when I change and that she actually prefers me as a woman

[Tracii G]

Well if your wife likes it then its all good.