Halloween Trick?

[Paula Siemen]

I'm thinking of coming out to my older sister and brother. I have some pics of me dressed as a witch from last Halloween. I'm thinking of composing an email Halloween card with one of the pics with a statement of "Trick or Treat". I think I've gotten several signs from my siblings that they may be somewhat accepting as my sister mentioned that she had some very good friends from NY,NY that cross dressed and my brother posted the rainbow over his facebook avatar after the gay marriage court ruling. Not sure if he's really gay or just a supporter of the ruling?
Anyway I've felt the urge to come out to many people I've known since Katelin came out to the world. I go out fully dressed quite often; shopping, for drinks or dinner and as I do not feel itruely pass, I don'tget the feeling that anyone gives my appearance a second thought or otherwise have any issues.

[Jaylyn]

You may be right Paula especially in Dallas, I know though that the small town I live in and the relatives I have would be shocked. I wouldn't even try it but if I was in Dallas might give it a go for my first time out. Now my siblings its best they never know as they would never truly understand. Your the only one that would know if yours would be accepting.

[Heidi Stevens]

Hey Paula, if you think your ready for any type of reaction, then go for it! You have to be ready to put yourself out there and if you're at that point then take an opening to introduce Paula to your siblings. It seems to work better for most to tell them about Paula first, like with your email, before you show them Paula in person. Not as big of a shock to handle from their stand point.
Good luck and I hope they are accepting!

[Paula Siemen]

I'm toying with putting in a statement that, "Yes, your little brother is a Cross dresser. And damned good at it!". The toughest part would be answering questions from my sister if she asks, how long have I been doing it. I might have to respond since puberty and I used to wear your stuff when nobody else was home. She could be upset over that...or she may have known all along.

[Krisi]

My advice is to tell only people who need to know and tell only as much as they need to know. If you think your siblings need to know that you are a crossdresser, tell them. If not, I would suggest not telling them.

Once it's out, you can't take it back.

[Pat]

The immense relief from telling your siblings is a worthy prize. If you feel you have a good chance of success it might be worth a gamble (reminds me of my backgammon tournament days...) You could avoid the written confession and just send the picture and see if that prompts a conversation -- that way if they don't want to know, they can avoid it.

[Stephanie47]

If you're comfortable with a reveal I'd say go for it, but, not to everyone. What's the purpose? I see you're 65 years old. I really think your siblings may have an inkling that you like wearing women's clothing. It sounds as if they would not be judgmental, if not totally supportive. There is usually an element of love involved in sibling relationships that is not present with people you know at the VFW, American Legions, Knights of Columbus, church, etc. Revealing to everyone may bring on a loss of friendships and just plain shunned by others.

I don't think you need to make a card up to announce it either. A casual conversation should be enough. You don't have to tell your sister you wore her clothes.

[docrobbysherry]

I agree with Krisi. I told one person I didn't need to who had been a life long friend. And, now she's gone!

Now, I tell folks only on a "need to know" basis!

[Jazzy Jaz]

I think different people can be at different comfort levels as far as sharing yourself with others is concerned and its something that can evolve over time. Sure there are definately risks anytime you out yourself to someone and those risks need to be calculated ahead of time, but some people can get to a point where they are comfortable and ok with taking that gamble. I actually came out to a friend yesterday who is very open minded and I had a pre conversation on the topic with her a week before. I can totally trust her and I knew it would be a safe bet. Only you will know what is right for you and who you're willing to take that risk with or not. Good luck which ever path you take.

[Chriscrossed]

I'm thinking of coming out also but with some friends not relatives. I'm feeling optimistic that they will both be supportive and continue to be my friends. I hope that making myself vulnerable and trusting them also opens the door to them to deepen our friendships and allow them to share their challenges when they need me. Personally I'm feeling both anxious & optimistic at the same time while I would prefer to appear self assured to put them at ease when I meet them.

I wish you the best outcome. I hope it turns out that you all gain more intimate friendships and extra support from one another and for one another.

Do tell us how it pans out because I'm at the same pivotal moment, I'm on the edge of my seat.

[pamela7]

any excuse will do in my book :-)
this evening is our local annual "zombie shamble" event, and I will go to watch dressed; our daughter is going to be one of the zombies, all made up with custom latex and gore.

[Marcelle]

Hi Paula,

Telling those around us is a personal choice and only the individual truly knows when that is the appropriate time. However, with each person you trust to tell, that removes your secret one step from you so you do have to take into account that telling one person could lead to that person telling others and so on . . . a ripple effect. Not saying that is a bad thing and if you are comfortable with who you are it might be a good thing. Just food for thought. But if you are ready to take the plunge and tell your siblings, well to be honest, I would do so over coffee rather than in an e-mail as it gives it a more personal touch (then again that depends if they are in the same location as you so an e-mail might be the only option).

Cheers

Marcelle

[alwayshave]

I can see no reason to inform any of my siblings of my crossdressing. If they found out, I'd own up to it. But I can see no benefit to me in telling them. If you have a need to tell your siblings, I wish you the most positive of results.