Hello everybody, so I'm Tammy and I'm new to this site.. I've been reading a lot on here and it seems like you're all really wonderful and inspiring people. I'm here for some advice on an issue that I've been dealing with for months now. ive been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years but I now feel like I don't even know who he is. From the outside, he's a strong and attractive sports fanatic with lots of friends and a hilarious personality. He's always been a very private person when it comes to his emotions and feelings. But a few months ago I found pictures of him on a dating app.... In MY clothing. He was wearing a silk slip in one, and my pants in a couple of others. And there was another picture also. I was in complete shock. I found it while I was at my house and I was not about to talk to him about it through the phone so I was planning to wait to confront him. However that plan backfired because I called into work that day so I could get my head together and somebody at my job asked him if I was okay because I had called in. So he called me and demanded to know what was wrong and it just didn't go the way I wanted it to go. I wasn't ready to discuss it so since he forced me I just told him I caught him and that I'm not an idiot. He immediately denied it and I can't even tell you what happened from there, we broke up and didn't talk for days. When we finally did he was still sticking to his really shitty alibi. So I let it go. A week later I found his box of clothes hidden in his closet..... With my dress in it and tons of undies. I found it while he wasn't home and I had to leave. So I left a long note with the box on his bed saying that I just want to know the truth and that I'll accept it no matter what it is. I wrote that I love him for him not what clothes he wears and that he doesn't have to be scared to tell me. I tried to make it as comforting as possible. But when he got home he still didn't tell me the truth. He avoided it and opened up to me about how depressed he's been for years and talked about all of the pain that he holds inside. It broke my heart that I never thought he was anything but happy. So again I let it go. Months down the line now, I still don't trust him one bit. He left a stocking out one day a few weeks ago and I asked where it was from and he quickly responded " I don't know things just get mixed up in my clothes" and so then he left for work. So that upset me so I sent him long messages basically begging him for the truth telling him that I'll never let it go with the lies he's been telling me. I said he has a better chance of me staying with him if he just opens up then if he sticks to his lies. He stopped denying it at a certain point in that conversation but then he closed back down and said he had nothing to tell me. I feel really helpless, all I want is to understand and he won't allow me. I'm totally okay with the dressing if we just talk about it and he helps me to understand. I don't mind it, it's just clothing. But without the truth my mind runs wild thinking of all the possibilities. Please please please help me, I just want advice I want to get him to open up and let me in. I'm the least judge mental most caring person on the planet but if he doesn't stop lying then I will be forced to end the relationship because it's really tearing me apart. Please help.