The Rush is on to have a transgender child.

[nancigirl]

This is one of the most disturbing discussion threads I have ever seen on this group. The premise that there is some kind of a "rush" on to have a transgender child is absurd! The increase in young kids being seen at gender clinics in the UK and the U.S. and other countries simply reflects the increase in accessible knowledge about transgender issues, and accessibility to proper care for transgender kids and teens.

These improvements in the care of transgender kids should be celebrated, not condemned or criticized.

And the parents who support their transgender children and allow them to live in their affirmed gender are certainly to be respected and admired.

[Amy Fakley]

Like it or not, there is an undercurrent of exploitation running throughout the dominant mainstream media outlets for just about everything trans -- reality shows.

It's an unfortunate synchronicity that the era where we are having the first mainstream "transgender moment" is also the era that has seen the extreme polarization of media budgets. These days it's all or nothing ... "game of thrones" mini-movies or "honey boo-boo" shot on a cell phone camera. Take yer pick.

I think that plays into the popular perception that anyone who is trans, or who has trans kids, or who cares about trans issues, must necessarily be just like those trashy bozos on the teevee ... just another wannabe Kardashian.

It's just cultural nearsightedness ... if the last thing you heard about transgender people was something about a reality show, or on the cover of a tabloid, it's too darn tempting to connect dots that aren't there.

So ... I get where it comes from. And I don't doubt that out there somewhere in the world, there's a really frustrated stage parent looking hopefully out the corner of their eye at their son playing with a barbie doll and thinking "yes! Meal ticket!". I don't doubt that for a minute.

However, I seriously doubt there's more than one. Maybe two. In the whole world maybe. What's more, it just can't work if it's not real ... no kid is gonna get cornered into "being trans"by an overzealous parent, when they really arent. I just can't see that happening.

Moreover, I suspect the fear that this might happen stems from internalized transphobia. Being trans is not contagious, ferchissakes. You can't "recruit transgenders" any more than "recruit gays" (hey, remember the 80's -- I heard that one a lot)

I'm thankful we live in an era where it's becoming more acceptable for parents to support their kids in a trans-positive way. It's an amazing thing to see. My grandchildren aren't even going to care about this. They're going to look back on these "controversies" and roll their eyes. I'm looking forward to that (but not to being old, lol)

[UNDERDRESSER]

The premise that there is some kind of a "rush" on to have a transgender child is absurd! The increase in young kids being seen at gender clinics in the UK and the U.S. and other countries simply reflects the increase in accessible knowledge about transgender issues, and accessibility to proper care for transgender kids and teens.

These improvements in the care of transgender kids should be celebrated, not condemned or criticized.

And the parents who support their transgender children and allow them to live in their affirmed gender are certainly to be respected and admired.

Thank you for this, pretty much my attitude.

Like it or not, there is an undercurrent of exploitation running throughout the dominant mainstream media outlets for just about everything trans -- reality shows.

That's the problem, watching that garbage. That stuff will rot your brain.

[Vickie_CDTV]

As ridiculous as this premise sounds, there are some pretty unstable people out there, and similar things have actually happened. There is a couple in Canada who were raising their child "genderless" and did not even want to acknowledge their child even had a physical gender at all. I can't fathom anyone doing that other than for attention, or that they feel some sort of need to show the world how extremely politically correct and "open minded" they are, even to the detriment of their child.

There is the more common Munchhausen by proxy syndrome, where people make their own children ill for attention. In this day and age, it really isn't that much of a stretch... sadly... to imagine a parent wanting to inflict some sort of gender dysphoria on their child for some kind of misguided attention. Common, no way, not even close... but is it possible in some isolated cases... sadly yes.

[nvlady]

I'm sure a lot of the girls here are saying "My parents were leading the pack".

[pamela7]

"why the rush to take a child to a therapist" or for that matter "why the rush to see a therapist if you cross-dress or might be TG"?
why not just accept you/they are having a human experience?

[Beverley Sims]

Everyone's looking for a Kaitlyn.

Me all I did when my children were born was to examine the soles of their feet to make sure they were not made in Japan.

[Nicole Erin]

Having transgender or racially mixed kids is some kind of trend. As if kids are just some kind of accessory. Good thing we have not found life on other planets or people would be wanting to have God knows WHAT kind of weird offspring because it would be "trendy".
Everybody wants to be unique, special, one-of-a-kind. Remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.

This is why I am glad my kid is now grown. Yeah we went through the whole bit where the school was trying to get our kid labeled. Of course said label changed often. ADD or autism or whatever the crap they called it on any given year.

How does it feel for kids though? I mean being told they are messed up (in whatever way) and have to go to therapy and sometimes take pills? Kids mess up. They do dumb things, get bored in school, tempt fate, talk back etc. It is called "Being a kid". Of course every generation likes to say, "We listened to our parents". Yeah right, lets ask your parents.

It is like every generation wants to horrify their kids. I remember in the 80's when we were gonna die of either AIDS or the USSR was gonna nuke us.

[Saikotsu]

Why is it everything i do/am suddenly becomes "trendy"? I'm a nerdy transgender gamer. Growing up, being a nerdy gamer got me social stigma. Now it's "cool" to be a nerd and people who play Farmville call themselves gamers. And if the op is to be believed, suddenly my gender identity is cool? That parents will want to have transgender kids like me?

I don't really want to believe it, but... it used to be a social symbol for celebrities to adopt children from Africa or from an impoverished nation. Now we'll see celebrities adopting trans kids like we're going extinct...

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, I know my mom would rather not know I'm gender fluid. It's nothing against me, and she is super supportive. But my gender identity is a real concern for her. It scares her. Statistically speaking, I'm not likely to live past 39 because I'm trans. Violent crime and suicide claim many of us. We face discrimination, hostility, and a whole host of health concerns.

A good parent wouldn't wish that on their kids. But since most of these parents who may or may not actually want a trans child have never had to experience it first hand, they just don't get what it means.

I've given it some thought. What if my future children are transgender like me? What if they're not? How can I impart my life experiences to them in a way that will help them most? All I know is that I want them to have the best life possible, regardless of who they are or what they become. Let's hope that more parents take a similar perspective and see their kids as the people they are rather than the labels they wear.

[Julogden]

It sounds like you possibly have an ax to grind or something, or maybe I'm misunderstanding. Anyway, I disagree. No one wants their kid to be transgendered, simply because it complicates the kid's life, a lot. What you're seeing, IMO, is that people are grasping that transgendered kids are more common than has been thought in the past, and are finally coming to grips with the fact that it's okay. Being supportive of transgendered kids is a great thing.

This is one of the most disturbing discussion threads I have ever seen on this group. The premise that there is some kind of a "rush" on to have a transgender child is absurd! The increase in young kids being seen at gender clinics in the UK and the U.S. and other countries simply reflects the increase in accessible knowledge about transgender issues, and accessibility to proper care for transgender kids and teens.

These improvements in the care of transgender kids should be celebrated, not condemned or criticized.

And the parents who support their transgender children and allow them to live in their affirmed gender are certainly to be respected and admired.

Amen!! I couldn't have said it better. I'm somewhat horrified by many of the responses here.

Carol

[ReineD]

Amen!! I couldn't have said it better. I'm somewhat horrified by many of the responses here.

People like to give vent to their "opinions" more than taking the time to seriously consider the realities of having children. Likely the people who are off in la-la land about this don't have any kids. They may not even be in long term relationships.

[Pat]

I seem to recall when being gay reached the Tipping Point and suddenly the news was filled with stories of people coming out the was a reactionary movement saying that the newly-out were just looking for attention or trying to be fashionable. Now that transgenderism is gaining traction this just seems to be history replaying. Why not accept a person's own description of their feelings are being more informed than your own? You may know how you feel, but you can't tell others what they feel. Why not trust that parents are acting in good faith and in the best interest of their own children?

Yes, some kids and some parents may briefly go down a wrong path, but it's pretty likely they'll discover that on their own. In the mean time other kids and other parents have a new path open that hadn't been there before -- all of us old folk know what happens when that path is closed; we're on here complaining about it. A Lot.

[Saikotsu]

It sounds like you possibly have an ax to grind or something, or maybe I'm misunderstanding. Anyway, I disagree. No one wants their kid to be transgendered, simply because it complicates the kid's life, a lot. What you're seeing, IMO, is that people are grasping that transgendered kids are more common than has been thought in the past, and are finally coming to grips with the fact that it's okay. Being supportive of transgendered kids is a great thing

I assume this was aimed at me. I kinda do and don't have an axe to grind. I am thrilled that it's becoming more mainstream and that transgender kids will be able to grow up in a more accepting, supportive environment.

That's seriously awesome. People are people and deserve to be treated with respect and dignity regardless of who they are. That might change based on what they DO, but no one deserves discrimination based on who/what they ARE.

What disturbs me is the OP implying that suddenly parents are rushing out to have a transgender kid because they want to be hip or cool.

Growing up, I encountered a lot of discrimination. Being gender fluid, I didn't feel the dysphoria as often as most transgender kids. In fact, I was happy to be a boy most of the time. Most. But I was different enough that the other kids could pick up on it. Most just assumed I was gay. They bullied me and harrassed me for being something I wasn't. They preyed upon that difference because they didn't understand me. And I didn't understand myself.

When I think about parents wanting to have a trans kid just for the coolness factor, I think back on my own experience growing up, and I get mad that they don't see what growing up trans can mean.

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Thanks katey888

[Katey888]

Crikey! If only my parents had realised how truly avant-garde they were, they could have sold their story (and possibly me... ) to the 'Daily Mail' and I could now be absolutely minted rather than wearing charity shop seconds...

On the other hand...

As ridiculous as this premise sounds, there are some pretty unstable people out there....

'Nuff said...

More media hyperbole and codswallop...

Katey x

[Krisi]

"The Rush is on to have a transgender child."

I think the rush is on to have one's fifteen minutes of fame and if you can have it by suing the school board to let your son use the girl's restroom, some people are poor enough parents to do it.

No license or training is required to become a parent and it often shows in the children. Anyone who would encourage a child to be something that he or she is not or doesn't try to help them to understand what they are is a terrible parent. From what I've read, living life as a transgendered person is no cake walk.

[Eryn]

...I think the rush is on to have one's fifteen minutes of fame and if you can have it by suing the school board to let your son use the girl's restroom, some people are poor enough parents to do it....

I disagree, for the simple fact that the "fame" outcome is far from assured. In most cases, the school administration would know Title IX and simply comply with the request, which results in no fame at all. The only cases that hit the news are the result of outsiders who want to deny the student's right to exist and who are willing to fight a battle they will ultimately lose to make their point. These are the true seekers of fame.

[Julogden]

I assume this was aimed at me.

No, it was a response to the OP. My view is essentially the same as yours.

[Saikotsu]

Ah, okay. Since your reply came right after mine, I wasn't sure.

[CONSUELO]

When all of the dust settles and the "nonsense" recedes I just hope that we can enter an age of greater tolerance and true understanding of cross dressing and transgenderism.

[Mink]

i feel like the backlash is coming in a BIG way!

beware the back lash!

[sometimes_miss]

The rush seems to be on to be the first on the block to be parents of a transgender child. Is this the result of media exposure of "Being Transgender" ?

I don't think that there are a lot of parents who are looking to label their kid as transgender just because it might seem a 'hip' thing to do. Rather, it's becoming more acceptable, and, the information about how difficult the child may find his/her life, lots of parents will want to help. I know that the scary statistic '40% of tg kids will attempt suicide at some point' will get notice. So does the 'Would you rather have a dead son or a live daughter?' (or vice versa). That one HAS to strike a nerve even in the most homophobic of parents. The Leelah Alcorn suicide news was pretty much covered nation wide; I'm sure it started discussions in lots of homes with TG kids.

A good parent wouldn't wish that on their kids.

But we must realize that not all parents are good. There are plenty of people who grow up, get married, and have children just because they grew up believing that was the only acceptable thing to do. My own mother treated her children like accessories and servants rather than like children. Whenever I did anything incorrect in public, it was almost always addressed in such a way so as to make me feel guilty about how my behavior reflected on her, how other people would judge HER. It was never about us kids. When I was growing up, she openly told me that the reason why people had children was simply so that they had someone to take care of them when they got old.

[Saikotsu]

Yeah, I kinda regret how I said that...I'm sorry your mom had the attitude.

[Eryn]

Even a bad, self-centered parent would have a hard time hanging a transgender label on a child that didn't want it. Parents may push their children to do many things, but be TG? There isn't all that many perks that go with that. Say your kid is autistic and they might get special attention at school, extra equipment, more liberal testing rules, etc. Say your child is TG and what do they get? Expanded bathroom opportunities and a possibility of the local fundie church picketing outside your home.