if you were growing up today, would it be different?

[lingerieLiz]

This is an old question that many of us older members have thought about. And, 50 yrs from now the younger ones will ask themselves. Somethings are easier today yet others are not.

When I was young the general population didn't know about alternate lifestyles. For a long time I thought I was unique. I was very lucky in that my sisters' coaching made it possible for me to learn to be a girl. What I realized was that I was not gay, nor was I transgender. I liked girls, but I also enjoyed appearing as one. I've had a great exciting successful life and family. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

If I was a late teen today I probably would go 24/7 as a girl, but would never transition. But remember, life might be very different this time around so I'm happy where I am in life.

[MissDanielle]

I'm 31 and I'll dress as much as I can after I move but I just can't see myself transitioning. I'll make my apartment as girly and femme as possible.

[sometimes_miss]

I've had a great exciting successful life and family. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

My life has been the opposite; no success, no family. So if I had to do it all over again, maybe transitioning would have been my direction, because I didn't understand until well into my twenties that I really was a guy. If psychologists had supported the TS feelings I had when I was young, I just might have gone along with that idea because I didn't know any better.

There are so many 'what if's' that it's hard to figure it all out. If I were a child today, I most likely would have avoided all the psychological trauma of the facial deformity birthmark, as insurance covers that now. Bullying is spotted earlier, and often less tolerated. Available child care would most likely have prevented me being put into a situation were I was molested and subject to the psychological tricks used to convince me that I was supposed to be a girl (kids minds are surprisingly malleable when growing up, I'm a perfect example of that). If not, perhaps someone would pick up on my borrowing my sister's clothes to wear, and if it seemed that someone really cared about me, I might have told them about my feeling like I was supposed to be a girl, believing that god made a mistake, and all that. Perhaps they would come to the conclusion that I was TS and steer me on that path, as at one point, I really did believe that I was supposed to be a girl, and would have been much more comfortable with the idea of becoming one, as so much of my life seemed to be horrible because I had to be a boy. Especially since today, they recognise that sexual identity and sexual partner preference are two distinct things. In short, there are so many things that are different from 50 years ago.
So yeah, life would have been very different.

[reb.femme]

Many on here are older (mature) crossdressers. I wonder how many of my/our generation are actually TG but realize they will never transition because of the stage in life. So, they accept where they are in life.

But since attitudes are different now, how many CDs of my/our generation do you think would have transitioned? How many have lived and struggled with it because of society at the time was different?

I'm curious and wonder about stuff often.

For me, it is the lost years of not being able to dress that make my heart ache. Oh to be younger, but I'll not be the first or the last with that lament. Presenting femme back in the 70's and 80's would have been a sure way to ensure I got a regular good kicking on the local estate.

I don't think that if I had my time again, I would have considered transition, as I've always been too male orientated. But never say never. An earlier start could have precipitated a whole different thought process. I loved the girl kit of the 80's so that is definitely something I missed out on. Society was not understanding at the time, but the modern day attitude is a lot more accepting, so that's something to be thankful for. I'll just enjoy my life as it is and hopefully will be, for a long time to come yet.

Becky

[Julogden]

I would probably have transitioned. I think that we'll see people who are strictly CD's have no desire to transition, but people whose dressing is driven by gender identity issues would.

[carrie001]

I don't think I would have transitioned, I would be much more out.

[BillieJoEllen]

There is no doubt in my mind that if things were like they are today I would absolutely have transitioned.

[Acastina]

If I was a late teen today I probably would go 24/7 as a girl, but would never transition.

What you're describing is actually a form of transitioning, ala Caitlyn Jenner. The non-op transsexual, a perfectly reasonable alternative to the full surgical route. As the general public learns and accepts more about gender anomalies, it's only natural that more shades of grey populate the spectrum of life situations. One of the indicators that surgical providers used to look for is a loathing of one's genitals; now that doesn't seem so important in the age of legal same-sex marriage and mandatory decriminalization of same-sex relations. Assuming you're suggesting a full change of identity (driver's license, voter registration, passport and so forth), and social functioning on the other side, that's a transition.

I know. That was me from 1982 though 1989. Trouble is, from my experience doing what I just described in my thirties, you've built up so many male experiences and socially conditioned viewpoints and attitudes that it's really hard to re-train yourself to feel and act convincingly that you grew up as a girl. You never got to be a silly pre-teen or go to the prom in a dress, never got your mother's daughter-training, and guys have little mystique when you've hung out with them all your life and know just how messed-up and insecure they can be. Add immutable passability issues like height and physique, and the issues multiply like bacteria in a Petri dish.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

If I were 16 years old right now I would live my life as a woman, pretty certain of that. Of course I am not and life has gotten in the way of me being the woman I would like to be. Not that I am complaining, I have a wonderful wife and fantastic family and am on the back side of 59. I would not have transitioned fully but would love to have been able to present fully as woman 100% of the time.

[reb.femme]

...I would be much more out.

Slightly off topic, but my wife works with a very openly gay man with a very effeminate nature. He is a fantastic guy and a natural comedian, so over a beer one night I asked him, "when did you come out to your mum", to which he replied, "I don't think I was ever in".

This is a typical response from him, but is so apt a point of view. He is about the same age as me, lived through the same years during which I was hidden, but he was in plain sight. I was more fetish based in the early days and this was not a thing to tell to anyone, but I think it a fair reflection to say he lived no lie, whereas I did.

Becky

[Charlyne]

My first thought on transitioning is that I have men's size 12 feet and my physique is quite male. I don't feel I could transition into anything other than being an "oddball".

[heatherdress]

If you are a crossdresser, and simply a crossdresser, the answer would probably be "none". Why would a crossdresser want to transition?

[suchacutie]

I'm pretty sure I would not have transitioned, but it seems likely that I would have discovered Tina a lot earlier in life. I love being able to present and live in both genders so I can't imagine that changing because of outside factors.

[Bea A]

When I was 14, I remember my mom asking me a question after she caught me dressing (for the umpteenth time). "Do you want to dress all the time and have an operation?" If I knew then what I know now at 51.. I would/should have said yes. But alas I did not... so here I am today.

[LaurenS]

What a great question. If I had grown up into the modern society of today, I don't know that I would transition, but I would not have squandered my youth by not enjoying and accepting myself more.

I would say this is probably the only regret I have. Of course it's easy to say that with a few decades of wisdom behind now, that I would not have had then.

[Jenniferpl]

Wonderful question along with a wide variety of responses.

Difficult to say if I would transition. Probably not mentally strong enough to put myself through all the pain it would cause my family. Of course according to this question, I would be say 20 years old today, which would mean I was single and no kids to think about. With the technology and information available today, would seriously look into it.

[JamieTG]

No I would not transition if I were growing up today. However I would hopefully be more open about myself and not live in shame and fear like I did growing up in the 50's and 60's.

[Joy3]

I would have seriously considered it in my teens.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

If the internet, and all of the information, inspirational examples, and ability to purchase stuff had existed when I was a teenager, I would be a woman today.

[Adriana Moretti]

I still havent grown up yet....I dont think I ever will xoxo but I honestly dont know...if i was a kid again would it be different ? Good question, I probably would have saved 5 years with the research thats available today.

[Jeri Ann]

Disregarding my gender issues, I do not regret the life I have had. However, if I could know what I do now and be a teenager in the much more permissive culture that we have today I would definitely transition.

I have always dreamed of a different life where I could grow into womanhood, have Mr. Right sweep me off my feet, get married, adopt kids, be a soccer mom, and experience life with the love of my life.

Jeri

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm not sure how to respond and be totally honest. If I were 16 or 26 now instead of 66 there would be a totally different set of concerns and options than those I faced in my youth. I imagine I'd be somewhat afraid of how crossdressing or transition would impact my career or change relationships. It's difficult to make that leap from what I have now to how I could be happy, productive, creative, love and be loved if I were living a modern authentic life. I'd like to think it would all work out better than what I've had, but that's the optimist talking.

I'm still wondering what my next choice will be as I learn more about my nature and what will allow me to live more authentically. I've found already that dressing at home and for support group meetings isn't enough for me. I've started coming out to family and friends, but that doesn't seem to meet my needs or solve the quandary I seem to face. Will I just need to find strength and spend more time out and about en femme? Will counseling help me find balance and comfort or is it a just a step toward hormones?

None of those questions were even on the table as I grew up. The world has changed around me and the choices, questions, concerns and options are so different I just don't know what the right answer is.

[CindyB]

I really don't think I would of transitioned although the thought has always been in my mind. Technology and society being more accepting has absolutely no bearing on my development. Growing up in small Texas town and living in Texas has definitely squashed any thoughts of transitioning.

Now, would I have done things differently? You betcha! Knowing what I know now, there's certain people I would of opened up towards. There's definitely some missed opportunities in my past. I think back and the things I probably missed out on if I was just open, honest, and more trusting. Of course back then I thought I was alone, weird, and different. Goodness, if the internet had just existed when I was 15

[TrishaTX]

I think it would be for me....The internet has taught me so much and made me realize I am not so different than others. I would have been honest with my mates and honest with myself. I would have removed allot of heartache from my life...but that is life right...a learning expierence.

[Adelaide]

I became a teenager in the 70's and didn't have a clue what I was feeling....I had nobody to talk to, nothing to read about how I felt, no internet, no therapist....just all alone. In today,s world, I would surely transitioned, at least to pre-op.