Many on here are older (mature) crossdressers. I wonder how many of my/our generation are actually TG but realize they will never transition because of the stage in life. So, they accept where they are in life.
But since attitudes are different now, how many CDs of my/our generation do you think would have transitioned? How many have lived and struggled with it because of society at the time was different?
I'm curious and wonder about stuff often.
I am 72. Yesterday, today, or a hundred years from today I would not consider transitioning.
Same here!Originally Posted by nvlady
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Fran
It's worth something just being around to Fuss!
I'm as sure as I can be that, if today's relatively enlightened climate had been the norm when I was young, I would probably have transitioned and never looked back. I have lots of wonderful memories of the compromised life I've lived, but there's something down deep inside that will always feel cheated by having been born too soon to really be understood and find fulfillment. It's hard to explain, because there's so much to be happy about in the way some things have turned out, but I will go to my grave conflicted and frustrated to some extent. Of that I am as certain as I can be.
I have pondered the OP's question, often.
I feel the exact same way. Couldn't have said it better myself!
Last edited by Lorileah; 11-18-2015 at 10:15 AM. Reason: no need to quote whole post above yours
I am 66 and I'm just a crossdresser. I like wearing women's clothes. I've been reading about "Male Lesbians" but I don't know if that applies to me either.
The path not taken. Not only in this instance but many others. Who can tell what we would have done when. But what I do know is that I have been blessed with a wonderful life; family, friends, etc. Like everyone I've had my ups and downs and regrets as we all have. Life's experiences, good or bad, make us a better person if we lean from them. I have fond remembrances of the past, enjoy the present, and look forward to the future.
If there was such a thing as a "do over", I would transition in a heartbeat. As a young child, teenager, and, even, as an adult, I would go to bed and pray that when awakened I would be a girl. I knew from the earliest of ages that a cruel trick had been played on me. On the otherhand I would have missed out on being a dad to two wonderful kids. I would have missed out on being an accomplished athlete (although, I could do that as a female, I guess). But, to wake up everyday in ones own skin would be a dream come true for me.
Angela has a good point and it's something I have thought of. Would you trade your life for that of a transsexual woman? Would you not have your wife, your children, your grandchildren, your friends and your career?
It's easy to think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence but sometimes we forget that it's pretty green on our side as well. And that's a really big fence to jump.
If I knew then what I know now and with the current society being more aware of the issues, yes. I knew from an early age that I wanted to be a girl but that idea was not entirely welcome in the 1970's.
then again who is to say your life would not have been far MORE awesome? You could have adopted children, or worked in a shelter. You could have mentored kids. Maybe you would have married the perfect man (or lived with the perfect woman, maybe even your wife). You could have had an excellent career even in your current profession. You could have saved a house full of puppies from a fire. Life is what happens while you're waiting to die. Think this way, the people who would have transitioned may have gone on to a fuller and better life. The grass is on both sides of the fence but the fence may have a gate on the other side to worlds you never dreamed.
I am transitioning, so the point is moot. The question, like PaulaQ would have been when. And getting back to the above, prevented a life of fear and confusion. I won't say a life wasted, I am awesome at what I do. But I could have been awesomer if I had transitioned...or I could have settled into a routine normal life. The main point is that I would have been happier with ME.
I remember early in my life here saying things like "I'm too old" "I couldn't do that" but here I am. One person asked me "And how old will you be tomorrow? Will you get younger? If you need to do something do it today." Life is short. It took me a couple lessons to learn that. My advice to those following is do what you NEED to do to be happy. If you are happy, those around you are happy. Those who can't be happy for you, thank them for being part of your life and move on
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
If I had known then what I know now, I would have begun actively questioning my gender identity in my teens rather than at 50. I'm still not sure if I'll ever transition (I think not) but at least I'd have figured it out much earlier in life.
I'd make that trade in a New York minute. Even if it meant being murdered by an unknown assailant at age 35, or dying from breast cancer at 50. I want a real life - not the imaginary thing I had that barely exists anymore anyway - a son who doesn't speak to me, an ex who hates me, lifelong "friends" who have no use for me now. A career that grateful though I am to have kept it through transition, is completely joyless to me.
For all of you who say "I'm too old now." I'll just say two things.
I've had 25 year olds say the same thing to me - do you think they're right, because I don't.
It's only too late to transition when you are dead.
Well for me I have never been married, no children. friends come and go. So then there is the career. I would think I could have been an accountant as a transwoman.
If I had transitioned at an early age, maybe I would have more friends. I would not be facing the gender dysphoria I face now. Also, maybe being who I truly am would have allowed me to be more successful in my career.
Life has not been terrible for me though. The reality is I have the life I have and I have to make the best of it, and I do intend to make the best of it.
I love my life now. I wouldn't transition, but I would take better care of myself and would be a slender man and svelte woman. I love my male life, but I love dressing up also!!!
Please call me Lisa!
Lena,
Much of what we know is in hindsight, most of our lives are compromises. I married young and just worked worked for the right reasons at the time, build a home up pay the mortgage started a business. Kids come along and time is compromised between them and keeping customers happy, all the time CDing is being dealt with in the background. The thoughts of being a CDer/ TG or TS didn't come into it, at the time I was a guy doing a weird thing sometimes. When the big reveal came twenty years ago the thoughts finally surfaced of what am I ? Why do I do this and what do I do about it, how does my family fit into all this ?
I'm still not 100% sure of the line between TG/TS but would I change anything ? Well I might not have had two great kids and three lovely grandchildren !
I guess the older generation just got on with the job without analysing things too much ! The ifs and buts come when you have time on your hands, by then it's probably too late to change anything even if you wanted to.
Me too. Only 35 though.
It's a VERY interesting question which I've pondered on more and more at this stage in my dressing. I'll be able to answer the question more truthfully when I see how this phase of my dressing plays out - which is much deeper and better than anything I've previously experienced.
The reason that my dressing is better is largely due to the current climate and modern technology.
I certainly don't rule out the possibility of transitioning.
Last edited by Cheryl_Layton; 11-18-2015 at 05:09 AM. Reason: Addiotional sentence
With what I know now, yes I would have transitioned.
If I were growing up today, I'd transition as a child, no question about it, and saved myself decades of despair, depression, alcoholism and drug abuse, and suicide attempts. I've lived a life that up until two and a half years ago when I started transition, was a complete fraud, a sham, and a lie. It was empty, hollow, and completely devoid of any meaning. Successes I should've enjoyed were empty for me. Failures only reinforced how worthless I was. I hated who I was with every fiber of my being.
Women don't have it easy, but I'd take my chances on life as a woman over what I experienced pretending to be a man.
I was going to ask if we thought a few lives would have been saved from suicide if it had been more common. But even today, trans children are taking their own lives.
Yes, Lena, this is a sad fact I think we too often forget. Times may be changing, but the reality is still there.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
I thought of it when I was younger but no, and no regrets either. I 100% agree with Blue Orchid "....happy having the best of both worlds".
Information is not knowledge / Knowledge is not wisdom / Wisdom is not truth / Truth is not beauty / Beauty is not love / Love is not music / Music is the best - FZ (Except of course for Dressing)
I doubt that I would ever have transitioned however I probably would have been able to have been more open to others about my CDing and as a result, the direction of my life would no doubt be different. But isn't that true whenever we choose any path in life? What would have happened if I took this job versus that one? Married this woman versus that one, etc, etc. I don't cry over spilt milk - content where I am.
When I read about today's transgendered kids, and how they and their parents are coping with this, I'm realizing how times really have changed. Looking back at the 40's and 50's when I grew up, I remember many things that should have tipped me off that I was different. If I were growing up now, I think yes, I'd want to do T blockers to stop puberty changes and start HRT as soon as I could.
But then was then and now is now, and I would have missed the wonderful 40+ years I've spent with my wife. Now my transitioning means spending as much time as I can as me.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
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