Why worry if your net gets wider ?

[heatherdress]

One question: Do you owe anyone an explanation for what you do? Perhaps loved ones, but your son's neighbor?

I totally agree with Eryn's important point. You do not owe any SA an explanation why you are purchasing anything, or looking at anything. It almost seems like a guilty response that you were caught doing something that you should not have been doing and you therefore need to explain. I am not saying that you did anything wrong, but I believe there is so much more freedom in simply feeling and acting like you are doing something that is OK to do and that you don't have to explain or make up a cover story.

[Teresa]

Heatherdress and Eryn,
If you are referring to my initial thread , the SA was a voluntary worker , if I didn't know him I wouldn't have offered an explanation but the circumstances were different so I diffused the situation from the start. I don't feel it's a guilty act to shop anymore but without me facing him like I did perhaps he would have made more of it behind my back.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I was in drab shopping for Steffi once, and this woman was trying to find a necklace to a dress she was buying. The one she picked out was awful. So I got up my gumption and brought a couple over to her that I thought looked much better. And they were on sale. She thanked me profusely, and bought one for one dress and the other for another dress. I already owned the necklaces I showed her but in a different color.

[Eryn]

...People these days, especially with all these things like Facebook and Twitter, are hateful...

Perhaps true, but what would this person do? Post: "Hey, I saw my neighbor's father holding a pair of heels at the thrift store where I work!"? A man being seen holding items of women's clothing is not really all that juicy of a story!

[sometimes_miss]

I was going to make the point that if my wife stood back from the situation she would see she's not that badly off with a CDing husband!

We certainly understand that. Few women do, however. Sadly, most women would rather stick with a drunk, a drug addict, even a guy who beats her is more likely to have his wife stick with him. There really aren't a whole lot of women who see crossdressing as something acceptable in a husband; they're not comparing the potential downsides, they're responding with their feelings, their emotions, and both of those usually aren't positive when confronted with the idea of their mate as a girly guy.

The more open I become the less logic I can see in our partners fearing the consequences , what is the worse that can happen ?

See this is all it is. As long as you can accept the worst that can happen, then it's perfectly ok to out yourself. Just remember that just because 'the worst that can happen' hasn't happened yet, that doesn't mean that it will never occur. Of course not all of those who are 'out' have had any bad experiences. However if you ask the ones who HAVE had, well, some of them are dead, some are divorced, some have lost jobs, some have had family stop all contact, and to live in a pink fog where none of that ever happens would be to ignore the obvious.
Yes, things might work out for the best. Or they might not. As long as you stay aware of and are prepared for the worst possible outcome, well, full speed ahead, and if there turn out to be no bad consequences, you'll be pleasantly surprised as Teresa has been so far (how many days has it been since the chain of gossip has had a chance to get around?). And best of luck. We all need it.