Man of the house?

[xNicolex]

Just wondered if anyone has ever experienced feeling held back to a certain extent with the way you act in front of your partners while dressed? I have to say sometimes I hold back more of my feminine side because I feel my partner may find it too much. Don't get me wrong she whole heartly excepts me as Nicole and encourages and supports me. But I still feel as though if I said I wanted girl time with her or started to act ''too girly'' she may feel uncomfortable with that behaviour and that the ''man'' she fell in love with is no longer appealing or the same. Because lets face it at the end of the day we are for the most part genetic men and through our passion for crossdressing and self expression of our female side we have a better understanding of our female counterparts than most men do. Although this puts us in a unique position I still understand the importance of my partners needs because sometimes she just needs her man. So its hard to know as I don't use a female voice around her nor do I use many female mannerisms . Although I have been practicing and she has been showing me how to behave ''lady like'' in public because she knows how important blending is to me. I suppose what I'm really trying to get straight is weather this is an irrational fear that probably wouldn't even be an issue and is just in my head or weather an excepting spouse is excepting in all areas. I know the only way I'll know for sure is by asking but wondered if anyone else ever had this thought?

[2B Natasha]

So ask.

If she is willing to help about you in public and I assume she is with you out in public. Or else how would she know what you need to work on. The. She is probably OK with it around the house.

It's all about moderation. Strike a balance with yourself. The whole " she needs her man thing " is just funny in my opinion and it is just my opinion. Honestly I've never understood that thinking on either side. But hey. If it works for you. Then go right ahead.

[Crissy Kay]

Yeah, I kind of feel that way myself. After all this time, about eight or nine years that my SO has known about my cding, I still feel a little odd being dressed up in front of her. I am lucky that she is OK with it, but I am doing a minimum of cding these days. Since I lost my cd friend last year, I think I have been doing less cross dressing. I believe I have lost some of my incentive to cd in the first place.

[Jenniferathome]

Nicole, when out with my wife, she reminds me of using a softer voice. As for mannerisms, I don't act "girly" and neither does my wife. I keep my knees together when I sit and/or cross my legs at the knee , I bend at the knee to pick something up, I tuck my skirt or dress under me as I sit, basic stuff that is kind of a requirement. I take smaller steps because I am in heels and I have to. If we're home, I do all the same but use my natural voice. No matter where you are, you can't sit like a dude when wearing a skirt! I think anyone "acting" a part can't relax and just have fun.

[MissDanielle]

If it were me, I wouldn't hold back anything femme about me but that's just me. It probably has to do with having repressed the girl within for so many years. Communication is the biggest key with any SO.

[xNicolex]

Hi everyone this is a funny sort of question i know but because I suppressed the urge for so long it takes time to get used to. I feel very comfortable and confident when I'm dressed far more so than my guy clothes I guess finding the right balance is the most important thing thanks girls

[Gabby6790]

I am still in the closet to my SO but I still repress a lot of femme things just because I know that she is looking for the macho man. Honestly, I don't mind I just wish I could let the femme side out a little more. For me, luckily I have no problem being macho. I like her to do certain feminine things for me that she does so I have no problem returning the favor.

[Tina_gm]

Not an irrational fear. This is where good communication is so important. Your GF is great for you for helping you. How much she needs of the guy she met, she needs to make that known. As well as how much you need to express the feminine aspects of yourself. There have been S/O's who have tried very hard to help their CD partner, but then felt left out of their own needs, then become resentful of it all later on down the road. Guilt from both sides may set in, communication may get lost. I would advise just talking about each others needs. Finding good ways where both you and her get what you want and need from your relationship.

[TrishaTX]

For me I have no issue being the man on a day to day basis. I love being the breadwinner, fixing a thing here or there and if need protecting the family. That said, I also like to feel vurnable , sexy and femine....I guess the hardest thing for me to understand is why so much judgement...I just want to be me!

[Krisi]

If your partner has been showing you how to behave ''lady like'', then I would think it would be OK to do this when dressed around her. The voice and mannerisms. When dressed as a male, use your male voice and mannerisms.

You are very lucky your partner is interested in helping you. Mine accepts or tolerates my dressing but I don't think she would help me learn to act more feminine or accept me trying to use a feminine voice or wiggling when I walk.

[Stephanie47]

One of the reasons my wife and I are in a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" marriage is just for that reason. She was attracted to and married a man who she thought met her "dream" guy, especially the part about her view of a caring and compassionate man. Good looks at the time helped also. One of the reasons I choose NOT to push the issue of satisfying my desire to wear women's clothing in front of her is exactly her point also......she prefers to see me as her man and only as her man. If I were to dress in front of her I'd think it would be such a false presentation to try to appear 100% female, it would be destructive to my relationship. I think my wife would just say "Who do you think you're fooling?" And, she would not be laughing.

I'd really like to hear some comments from those who have been dressing in front of their wives and even going on outings with their wives how they have progressed over te years.

[Sharon B.]

I envy you but with that said. I would think if she is comfortable having your female side out and helps in acting more demure then by all means be yourself around her and don't worry about acting manly around her. If she wants you to be manly at times I'm sure she will let you know.

[janec]

I am still in the closet to my SO but I still repress a lot of femme things just because I know that she is looking for the macho man. Honestly, I don't mind I just wish I could let the femme side out a little more. For me, luckily I have no problem being macho. I like her to do certain feminine things for me that she does so I have no problem returning the favor.

my situation is very similar wish i could be femme a it more around me wife did try once to dress while she was here it did not go to well hopr to try again some time

[Lorileah]

:fade in...2001...suburban household:

Mother-in-law (MIL) to wife (W): He walks on his toes all the time
(W): I know
(MIL): He sure likes to cook
(W): I know
(MIL): I need lipstick for church
(W) to me : Do you have some?

I go to my kit and get a small tester tube
(MIL): He is a crossdresser
(W): I know

nope...didn't change how I acted even when

(MIL): I found these panties in the dryer
(W): Thanks he will be looking for them
(MIL): He's weird
(W): I know

[Cheryl T]

At first I felt I held back how I carried myself so as not to "offend" my wife. Over time that dissipated and I was able to just be myself around her.
Sometimes of course I get a little to "feminine" (limp wrist or something) and she copies what I did as a joke, reminding me it was a little over the top. It's helped refine my carriage so that I can be the complete feminine me and not be a campy version. This surely has helped when we go out in public.

[Teresa]

xNicolex,
I haven't appeared dressed in front of my wife So I'm not sure how i would act , I would guess not very different to the male me.
Maybe one of the sticking points with my wife is she doesn't know how I would act either ! One problem maybe is that she knows it was sexual, if there's a possibility I get turned on to her she certainly won't want to know, intimate relations stopped years ago after her change of life.
A question was posed once that if your partner agreed to see you dressed what point might she stop you when she couldn't deal with it, my wife answered not at all !!

[Dana44]

Nicole, I also do not change that much. It is hard to let your feminine thoughts flow and we do try to get things right when out and about. She does most of the talking and I have no fear when out. You have made the move of going out and most will see you as a woman. If someone looks close at me they might read me. But in general act like a woman and enjoy what it brings. My SO wants me to be a man. She now understands the switch. However, she drops hints. But if I let her know that I'm feminine, she does let me. Still in the house its hard to be feminine. Maybe a little role playing might help.

[Beverley Sims]

I never seem to be aware of my female mannerisms showing through when dressed.

Having dressed for a long time switching back and forth seems natural and mannerisms seem to come naturally.

[char GG]

From: Jenniferathome

I keep my knees together when I sit and/or cross my legs at the knee , I bend at the knee to pick something up, I tuck my skirt or dress under me as I sit, basic stuff that is kind of a requirement

This seems to be a biggie. I sometimes join my husband's support group and many of the CDers sit like men, legs splayed apart. Not attractive in a woman unless you are in an M-TV video and have a hit song to go with it.

Also, trying to use a girly voice sometimes makes you sound like you are "trying to use a girly voice". It just doesn't work. Just don't talk loud.