What do I want for Christmas

[Cassandra*]

Tonight during dinner my wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas? I'm kind of a joker and noticed a stuffed bird at the restaurant and replied a macaw. A bird she said and I said sure why not. I than told her to be accepted for who I am. The next question was are you coming out to everyone? I so wanted to say yes but I froze. How would I bring this up to my parents especially mom. She's not in good health and I'm afraid she will end up in the hospital. The other is I'm the oldest of three sons and I mean sons. We're crud and straight forward to the point especially me. I've never been afraid to say what's on my mind but this is a subject that I wouldn't no where to start. I was thinking of standing in front of the thanksgiving dinner table and saying " I'm picturing all of you naked" and then drop the bomb. But saying I'm picturing my family naked is just wrong and creepy in so many ways. So all jokes aside how can I do this?

[Krisi]

Do you need to do it? What will you gain? What will your family members gain?

I think it's selfish and a bad idea to turn Thanksgiving from a day for family to a day for you. If you really think it's necessary to tell them, wait and tell them at a later date, not a family gathering.

[Cassandra*]

I wasn't really going to bring it up on thanksgiving. I was using the holiday as a kill the bird with one stone situation. As far as being selfish I'm the least selfish person. For any reason my family or friends need anything from auto repair or just someone to listen I'm there. But to the comment of what would I gain it would be a sence of happiness. We all want happiness right and sometimes maybe, just maybe this something that has to be done eventually

[Krisi]

Yes, we all want happiness, but at what cost to our loved ones? It's great that you are unselfish with car repairs but what I'm suggesting as selfish is making the holiday about you and your "happiness" at the expense of the family. You commented about your mother possibly ending up in the hospital. Would that bring you happiness? Would it be worth it?

I suggest telling only those who need to know and when they need to know. Your mother may well pass before she needs to know and you will save her a lot of grief. If the rest of your family is not likely to see you dressed as a woman, why tell them? Do they need to know?

You asked for advice, this is mine. Ignore it if you wish.

[kittie60]

What I want for Christmas will never happen. I would like the rest pod my family to accept me for who I am. I'd like that for everyone of es. I'm the oldest of 10 kids. Yeah 5 brothers and 4 sisters and only two have anything to do with me. Just once I would like everybody together. Just once. But it will never happen. That's what I want not only for myself but for all of us.

[Jaylyn]

I'm really happy and no one knows but myself and my accepting wife. I feel who else really needs to know. I am happy and enjoying life. If you must tell everyone I wouldn't do it around a holiday. Just my thinking but do what you think you need to do.

[docrobbysherry]

Personally? When I told my family, it was one at a time when we were all alone.

Easier to gage their thots, reactions, and field questions!

[jessica2009]

I know the feeling about wanting to say something, but as others mentioned, I wouldnt do it on a holiday either. not sure how i would do it but i have been thinking about it for a year on how to come out to people. Sadly not as easy as some think. ah well i guess.

[Tracii G]

You are on your own there but you could get dressed up and then everyone would know and get to see you in girl mode plus see you are serious about it.
If a brother gives you grief sock him in the jaw or kick him in the n&ts. That should clear things up.

[Cassandra*]

Thanks for the replies. The idea has occurred to sit down individually and bring up the matter. My family lives within a 5 mile area and eventually while dressed will run into someone right? As for my mom she has always wanted to have a daughter and according to a psychic my mom saw I am her daughter. Mom told her she only had boys but little did she know. Guess like most of the cd world it sounds like the advice is don't bother trying to gain acceptance just live in the closet. I don't buy that! As we get older the pink fog as we call it will become gray and depressing to the point where regret sets in and sure enough we will never know what our family's would accept or not. We had two family members who were gay, my uncle who passed away ten years ago and he hid it until he was caught with his partner and my cousin who is out and living his life with his partner in happiness. Sure the story is its fine for the neighbors family but we don't have them in ours is a thing in the past with the gay community so why not tackle the CD community one family at a time. I probably will start one at a time with my kid brother and go from there. By the way it's too bad so many on this site hid behind avatars with false pics. And hide who they really are. This is supposed to be a safe haven for us girls. Thanks for the help.

[Beverley Sims]

Is it necessary?

Let it go till next year and have a happy thanksgiving.

[pamela7]

hang on a minute. Selfish, in the season of "goodwill to all men"? There is NOTHING WRONG in cross-dressing or being transsexual. So anyone taking offense can be stopped before they even start by prefacing your words with "as its the season of goodwill to all men, I trust i will retain your goodwill as i reveal something i've been hiding a long time ..."

Now as to the OP title, i think we need a new thread on what we want for christmas?!

[JocelynJames]

If a brother gives you grief sock him in the jaw or kick him in the n&ts. That should clear things up.

This cracked me up so much. I grew up with 5 brothers and no sisters and this is EXACTLY how it went.
I would not come out at Thanksgiving. Save it for a regular day and I think one at a time is a great idea. Or like me, not at all.

[Teresa]

Cassandra,
I guess instead of freezing up you should have continued the conversation with your wife !
One problem is you don't mention your age in your profile or if children come into this equation. As far as you are concerned your brothers shouldn't affect your decision if you are all adults and gone your own way ! The stumbling block is why do your parents need to know, what is it going to achieve, I have the same problem with my mother, I don't think she will mind but at 86 she doesn't need to think and worry about it .
The other question is what does your wife feel about you coming out, is it something she'd prefer to clear the air over or is she dead set against it ?

My coming out is a little one sided , all my wife's family know, mainly because she has sought help when she couldn't deal with it ! My mother is very open minded and I don't think my sister would bother much because it wouldn't affect her in anyway, her husband would be a different matter, he would say stupid, awkward and embarrassing things without thinking what harm he could do to others !

I find a suitable picture shown at the right time can say more than words, maybe that could work !

[Pat]

I occasionally read someone saying they don't want to come out to their aging/infirm parent and I turn the situation around: I think how I would feel if one of my sons had a secret of this nature but never told me. And it makes me very sad to imagine that something so important to their lives would been something they were scared to tell me. I honestly get a little teary. Everyone knows their own parents best, but I offer this as just another viewpoint to consider.

[Cassandra*]

I've decided to pospone my family outing. I'm thinking about leaving my life as is for now. As I've previously mentioned in other posts I have an 8 yr. Daughter and I need to protect her from being bullied and Ridiculed due to me coming out to all especially the neighbor hood. Thanks for your comments. This year I'm thankful for my family as it is!🦃

[Jill_cd]

Sometimes it's better to say nothing and just press on. I've been surrounded by the 'pink fog' while out and just want to shout, "Look at me, I'm a crossdresser!" Later I'm glad I didn't. Putting the needs and happiness of your daughter is the most important. You know she'll take some serious grief if her school knows her as having a crossdressing Dad. Just my humble opinion.