Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 42

Thread: How excepting is the general public today?

  1. #1
    Happy in Heels xNicolex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    258

    How excepting is the general public today?

    Just wondering how you girls are treated in public? Seen as there are so many different girls from all over the world on here I thought it would be interesting to hear how people in your areas treat you in public when your out en femme. Being from Ireland myself and worth mentioning I haven't been out in public yet The public perception of us crossdressers is a mixed one. Take for instances Dublin city most people there are cultured and for the most part open to new experiences as like most cities I would think as they are used to seeing change on a daily basis around them and move with the times. But the rural areas where things stay the same most of the time people aren't used to change and some don't like change. Rural areas where I myself live are openly conservative, friendly yes, but they would throw you a funny look if you were acting flamboyant in public, so a dress might be enough to make them dive for the shelter screaming ''crossdressers are here its the apocalypse'' OK maybe that's an eggeration but who knows I for one can't understand this for instance picture the scene your on a night out and you see a group of ''girls'' on closer inspection you see they are guys on a ''stag do'' (thats what the Irish call a bachelor party) dressed as girls shouting, jumping and celebrating I'm sure you've seen it before, but nobody pays attention its just a group of lads blowing off some steam, but if one of us walks down the street in a more ladylike fashion obviously is it any different really? and why can't everyone look at us and say ''whatever floats your boat'' let people be who they want to be so long as you're not hurting anyone else. I am coming at this from a person who lives in a conservative rural area and when I go out I will go for the more liberal city areas where there might be fewer funny looks. Sorry about my mini rant but I know how people in my fishbowl area are about things like this I would like to hear from you girls about your areas and if the public are friendly enough not to pass judgement.
    Last edited by xNicolex; 11-26-2015 at 09:51 PM.
    My Instagram xnicolex1988

  2. #2
    Member Kevyn53's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    North Dakota
    Posts
    198
    I think the "politically correct" thing has helped a bit. It seems unacceptable to trash someone in public. My wife and I go out on day trips to another city with me en femme, and everyone there seems accepting of me as I present. We're in a small town ( count 35 people ) in the northern midwest, so dressing here would really screw up my work and our place in the community. So I dress around the house maybe once a week if I'm feeling like it, and road trips every couple of months where I get to dress up for a day or two. I think my wife joining in helps. She's always calling me "she" and "her." Because she accepts me, everyone else does too. On a stranger note, we have a family;y in town who have announced that their developmentally challenged son is has come out and told them he feels like a she and wants to transition. So I'm not the oddest one in our town.

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member MissDanielle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Chicago!!!
    Posts
    839
    I'm not brave enough yet to go out in public en femme just yet.
    I'm a nice Jewish girl.

    I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman.

  4. #4
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    4,450
    I go out during the day, to family orientated places (shopping malls, gardens, pools, beaches etc)
    Where I live, and the time and places I go, I've never had any issues.
    There are clubs in the city that other girls go to, but never alone, and they also seem to love it.
    I'm scared that drunks often like to find issues needing a fight to solve.
    But generally most people just think I'm mad, and I smile back to them
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  5. #5
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    3,040
    I live in a moderatly large city (by global standards) and I'm out quite often although I avoid the malls, mostly quiet parks in a 'good' neighborhood but I'm often approached by guys walking their dogs. I remember one time in July I was sitting on a bench and it was getting dark, I was reading and a guy walked up and said Hi! I just smiled and hoped like hell he'd keep walking but nope..."Are you meeting someone?"

    I thought, OK, maybe try sign language...ahh screw it, I just told him in my best Darth Vader voice 'No, just catching up on some reading ☺ '

    He just said 'No problem, just thought you were meeting someone, have a nice night 😲 ' He had to give his dog CPR but other than that no problem at all

  6. #6
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    NY & CT
    Posts
    2,533
    the public is as accecepting as you present yourself to them......I never had a problem in public, and can go stealth.. but I am also not flossing in a pink fog either.

  7. #7
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    2,108
    Nicole, you have Panti Bliss in the news these days, cracking open a few Irish noggins. That should help.
    When I go out, 99.99% of people are great, ranging from politely accepting to fawning. The tiny amount of negative people tend to be dumpy, plain women. I know I'm going to catch flak for that but so far they are the only ones to say anything negative. I stand by my observations.

  8. #8
    New Member petal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    10
    So great to hear your wife is so accepting!

  9. #9
    Happy in Heels xNicolex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    258
    Quote Originally Posted by AngelaYVR View Post
    Nicole, you have Panti Bliss in the news these days, cracking open a few Irish noggins. That should help.
    When I go out, 99.99% of people are great, ranging from politely accepting to fawning. The tiny amount of negative people tend to be dumpy, plain women. I know I'm going to catch flak for that but so far they are the only ones to say anything negative. I stand by my observations.
    Yes indeed our panti bliss is raising awareness in the public domain at home and abroad its great
    My Instagram xnicolex1988

  10. #10
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    6,335
    Nicole, I have been out in several cities in California and Hawaii and in my small home town of Boise, ID. The reaction is the same everywhere: no reaction at all. When I interact with people, they just take it in stride. I think the critical thing is dressing appropriately. Dress for the time, location, and event. That give no one cause to notice in the first place.
    Last edited by Jenniferathome; 11-27-2015 at 08:19 PM.

  11. #11
    Daniella Argento
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    522
    Hiya
    As you have indicated, 'mileage may differ' is a good rule of thumb.
    In South Africa I think you are going to be 'ok' most of the time but you do need to be careful.
    In some less progressive parts of the country lesbian female to male trans people are at serious risk of physical harm and even murder...
    For most of us in the cities as long as you are in a progressive area you will be ok most of the time... Although I have heard horror stories of MtF trans people getting assaulted in shopping mall toilets and even being harassed by lesbians for using womens toilets in a gay bar... So it is not universally ok...
    For me, I have never personally had a problem. I go to gay bars and clubs, vanilla world restaurants and shopping malls as well as casinos and theatres. I ahve also visited a beach promenade en femme. Thus far I have never had a problem. The worst things I experienced was getting clocked last Christmas by a grandfather who physically moved his kids from one side of the kids area in the middle of a mall as a I walked past and once in a mall some teenage girls noticed me and kept looking over their shoulders at me. Uncomfortable yes, problematic no... I even went to what turned out to be a ladies night out party this Halloween and it was fine. No issues at all that I was aware of...
    So I would say where I live in a major cosmopolitan city in Africa the general public is by and large cool and accepting. Sometimes you attract attention, mostly they walk right past you without noticing anything.
    Check out my blog for more details re my adventures
    www.daniellaargento.com you can use the categories/tags 'out and about' and 'entertainment' and you should find most of my adventures recounted.

  12. #12
    Silver Member paulaprimo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    new york
    Posts
    3,218
    when i first started going out i always thought everybody was looking at me and it scared me to death.
    i would go to quiet places or go out late night when not many people were around. but what i noticed
    was that when it's quiet out, anybody you come in contact with will check you out. so i started going out
    in the middle of the day and to more crowded places and it seemed like nobody paid any attention to me.
    there is just too much going on for people to even notice.
    paula

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    brewerton ny. north of syracuse ny
    Posts
    618
    I find that most if the people don't really care, but there are always a few which like to start something. With more and more people coming out of the closet per say like some big time celebrities its getting more acceptable. Doesn't mean that the public likes it but that's the way it is.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    1,297
    I was super nervous when I first started going out in public some 5-7 year ago. I am at the point now where I go just about anywhere I want with no problem so far. It helps that I have a small build so I don't draw attention. But I think many of the posters are right. Most people are too busy with their own lives and/or as long as you are not bothering them they really don't care.

  15. #15
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,955
    On the west coast of the USA most don't care, as you go East the less tolerant they get.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  16. #16
    Silver Member Kandi Robbins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Kandi's Land!
    Posts
    2,610
    Getting out dressed quite often, I have discovered people will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. By that I mean, if you are appropriately dressed, if you smile, if you are behaved, you will be treated well. If you are rude, dressed specifically to draw attention (over the top or inappropriately), you will not. At least that has been my personal experience. The fact that I am wearing a dress or a skirt has been irrelevant to how I have been treated. I can argue that, in fact, I am treated much better when dressed (probably because I am more outwardly happy) than when I am not (I don't appear as approachable in male mode).
    Visit Kandi's Land (http://www.kandis-land.com/) daily! Nothing but positive and uplifting posts!
    Pictures and stories of every time out: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131254150@N06/.

  17. #17
    Seasoned Member Rhonda Darling's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Near Winston-Salem, N.C.
    Posts
    1,146
    Nicole:

    When I first started going out, like Paula, I went out at night just for the pleasure of walking around neighborhoods, often just at the edge of the nightlife areas. I, too, discovered that anyone I came across would check me out, which I found threatening at the time. At that time I was also dressing inappropriately for the time and place (think ugly older chick dressing like a young chick, in 5" heels and mini skirt).

    Then, with the help and advice of my SO (now my wife) and a whole lot of girls in a Meetup group I joined, I learned to dress appropriately for my age, where I'm going, and -- most importantly -- I developed a "give-a-sh_t" attitude about what others think. The latter freed me to just be me and enjoy being out and about, day or night, interacting with the Muggles as me. All the early warning radar looking for danger approaching remains on, but I don't fixate on being afraid.

    It it is so great being comfortable as myself out in the world, I can't recommend it enough. Jump your own hurdles and go out and enjoy yourself safely. If you can find anyone to go out with you, it will be easier, as many women travel with at least one other, and two or more women out together won't attract the wrong attention as easily as a solitary woman. IMHO.

    Best,
    Rhonda
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Be all the woman that you can be!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    . . . and now, On With The Show!

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Highlands
    Posts
    961
    Hi Nicole

    I live in the Highlands of Scotland, which is possibly as close to rural Ireland as you could get in the UK - small towns and villages, with a few places where religion rules the roost. I shop in small towns and get treated wonderfully wherever I go. OK, I don't go to noisy bars or night clubs, but so far with hundreds of trips out and about there have been no issues. I have met lovely people and even get discounts in my favourite shops - I even got invited to choose a free Christmas present of any scarf from the [expensive] shop last year.

    I know Ireland a bit and Dublin would be fine, as you say. I would be wary of Donegal or Limerick - for a whole lotta reasons, but otherwise it should be OK.

  19. #19
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    12,387
    I live near LA, which has worldviews ranging from the ultra-liberal, to arch-conservative. We have various religious and ethnic enclaves as well. Get a few miles away, and it can be as rural as Wyoming.

    I've never had a bad experience being out in any of these areas. Everybody seems to treat me as I present. The worst that has happened is being (very) occasionally misgendered, but I feel that is an honest mistake.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  20. #20
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    261
    My first few interactions with the general public were scary, but ended up being nothing. Early on, went to a transgender bar in SF. I locked my keys in the car and had to call AAA. For the tow truck driver I was expecting muscle bound roughhouser who would make fun of me harass me. It was a middle aged Japanese man who was very polite, but insisted on repeating the name on my AAA card over and over again. Next time, I was rear ended. It was nothing. The other guy was an aircraft mechanic at SFO on his way to work. He was really curious about where I was going and truly intrigued. It seemed as if he wanted to skip work and follow me to the club. My key did not work at the hotel. I contemplated going to my car and making use of the guy bag I had packed, but decided it was not worth the effort. The hotel clerk took care of me like it was nothing.

  21. #21
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,257
    [QUOTE=Adriana Moretti;3850988]the public is as accepting as you present yourself to them...

    This pretty much how it works.
    Dressing like a hooker will get you noticed and thats not a good kind of notice.
    Dress like 99% of the women in the area and you get treated just fine.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member jjjjohanne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    USA, East Coast, 2BR Apartment
    Posts
    999
    I live in a conservative part of the United States. I always present male when I dress. No wig, breasts, etc. I almost always wear either a skirt or a dress when I am out dressed. When I go out, I go to normal places for a middle aged, married parent of young kids. I have not had any bad experience. I was laughed at openly once 8 years and again 3 years ago. I have gotten a lot of looks. I have seem people whisper about me. I heard a male sales person say to my male sales person, "Did you two go to the bathroom together?" when he stepped away from me and went into the sales office. I have seen people intentionally travel past me in order to get a look. Beyond that, I have been treated roughly equal to how I am treated when I am wearing menswear. I normally go out in public places where decent people go. I normally go out while school is in session in order to avoid kids. I think that people have become less surprised to see me in the past couple years. Something might have changed in society...
    I am a man who presents male and wears feminine clothes.
    I blog about my outings: https://joeypress.wordpress.com/

  23. #23
    Member Staci Roberts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    181
    Agree. I was out the other night in a good size "college town" not too far from where I live.
    I was dressed in a new Talbots dress, sheer hose, moderate heels and a wool coat, hair and make-up to match. Point is, I was not looking to attract any more attention to myself than my natural height does (tall).
    I continue to be amazed how no one typically even takes a second look, let alone say anything. I am sure it will happen, but the experience of being out and about far outweighs the "risk" at this point...

  24. #24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    14,303
    I've read the comments of those who have ventured out en femme concerning the interaction with the public. I've encountered on several occasions cross dressing men while out. I have made an effort to watch those around them. Both cross dressers were not representative of women. But, nobody said a word and I did not see any scowls from old biddies or young immature men. Of course, these encounters were not at locales I would expect some degree of hostility.

    That being said, my experience interacting with people I know who are either friends or acquaintances or just encounters the acceptance is a lot less. I am in the closet, where I wish to be and remain, and, do not feminize myself in any manner. I'm strictly male in presentation. Anyway, I've found many people hold negative views and their acceptance of gays and lesbians and transgenders and cross dressers runs from confusion to outright rejection. Yes, they have learned to be "politically" in their day to day encounters, but, there is no acceptance. I have one friend whose grandson has been made an outcast at his high school. His male friends and to some extent his female friends have abandoned him. He interacts fine with older more mature people. Young men and women seem not to have perfected the art of keeping negative comments to themselves.

    It's not a matter as to whether some boorish behavior may arise during an encounter with someone you'll never see again. It's whether or not your friends will stop inviting you to dinner or a party. It's whether your coworkers will ask you to come along for a beer after work.

  25. #25
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Michigan USA
    Posts
    7,977
    I do not go to bars or clubs. I am polite when out and people have been polite in return (my own hair is chin length and I have no facial hair)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State