Worried about being outed while in male mode.

[SexyErica]

Ok, I'm feeling a little guilty for asking you wonderful ladies for advice because I don't reply to others here very often so I apologize for that. So due to my home and work situations I'm an extremely part time dresser. Before I started going out I was happy with putting on a pair of hose and heels for a bit around the house now and then. But since I started dressing fully with makeup and wig and going out that just isn't enough for me so I only dress when I can dress fully and that is very rarely, as of now it's been almost a year since I last dressed. Now I've got an opportunity to get out coming up in 2 weeks and I'm terrified to go. The problem isn't the going out I don't care what others think while I'm out en femme and I know I don't pass. 6' 290 nfl lineman kinda build you get the idea. My fear is my male friends and my family getting suspicious of me shaving off my goa t every year at this time. Every year I tell myself that I'm not going to grow it back but then everyone tells me I look better in guy mode with it so then it comes back when I can't get out for long periods of time. I guess I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here. Maybe just advice on how some of you have dealt with a similar situation. Or maybe just a little support to push me along. Thanks for reading

Erica,

[kittie60]

Hi Erica, I'm built pretty much the same only I was 345lbs. Now I'm 60lbs.lighter. there are some big women out there to so I wouldn't worry about that cause I'm always out. I use to have a moustache, and occasionally I shaved it off. I just said it started to grow back in my lip and was irritating. Now I don't have one at all. You do look pretty swanky in you picture though. I would just go for it and really enjoy myself. Chances are nobody is going to pay to much attention to you anyway. That's how I've dealt with it in the past.good luck and enjoy your time

[fiona frisson]

Erica, Ok having a beard is that natural barrier to truly goin en femme and there are quite few others who employ that constraint - maybe dictated by their circumstances; it is always perfectly plausible to shave off a beard possibly even more so if you do so in a consistent pattern, You could tell the white lie that your skin was chaving or hurting that said beards tend more to get grown for winter and off for summer. In terms of being outed Id be more concerned with other factors where and when you go out.

[sara.rafaela]

As far as being outed, maybe you should go to the next big town, away from your colleagues. Rent a room at the Hampton Inn. Lay out your ward robe. Get ready in peace. Go out.

Even so, if seen; if you are completely made up with wig; it is doubtful your own mother would recognize you. As an insurance policy, you could carry a pair of sunglasses in your purse.

I do not think anyone would associate shaving a beard with cross dressing. If you want to shave it, then just say it is your choice and leave it at that.

[Jaylyn]

I don't have any problem growing out or shaving off a beard. I usually let it grow during hunting season and trips to the coast fishing. Every one knows they may see me scruffy or cleanly shaved anytime. I used to shave my head every June as we would travel to the coast salt water fishing. I dress and I shave but the secret is to always be doing something different. My kids are always telling me oh I like you better with the beard then I'll shave and they'll say must be time for fishing season. Little they know it's time for dressing season....

[Tracii G]

Don't worry too much about your size or body shape.In your pic you look fantastic and very feminine.
I have been close to 300 lbs myself and it never stopped me from dressing.
Just shaving a beard off won't out you why would you think that?
Sit back and think its your beard, your face you can do what you want with it.
I had side burns and a mustache from 17 until age 51 and worried all the time what people would think then one day I said hell with it and shaved it off.
Friends and family said wow you look 10 years younger so its been off ever since.

[DeeArel]

I let my facial hair grow when between dressing opportunities. There are always a few that comment when I remove it. This time of year, a good excuse is that hunting season is over. My favorite is that I am changing looks to confuse government agents that are following me.

[I Am Paula]

I think that if your friends worry about your shaving habits, perhaps you should re-assess your friends.

[MissDanielle]

I'm the laziest shaver ever but I try and shave once a week.

[Pat]

As I read it, you're concerned that people will see a pattern of you shaving around the holidays and walk that back to "he must be a crossdresser." Is that correct? Seems like a stretch to me. Maybe you just like to be clean-shaven around the holidays.

[Rachelakld]

Back in the 80's, we had a local cross dresser with a beard, my mum was a shop assistant, she commented on it once at home before returning to other issues.
Her comment wasn't really about the beard (that was okay in her book), but the lace cover over her face did concern my mum briefly - lace was cheaper than dark sun glasses in those days.
We still have a few bearded cross dressers here, unfortunately most look like they come from the poor side of town, but they are really nice if your brave enough to talk to them.

People may think your mad, only 1/2 cross dressing, sometimes I leave my stubble on as I'm lazy and also can't pass, but I'm mad in a nice way and being nice can make a big difference, maybe think of it as if your in a theatre production, or let people believe they are on candid camera

For me, shaving is about "trying to be more acceptable" some days I just don't care about fitting in (I don't often shave before swimming - have you seen my pretty, low cut back swim suits yet, they feel like a second skin)

[josrphine]

Hi Erica, I was a lineman, power you know how hard it is to climb those poles in heels YUK YUK . Hunting too, no body could figure out the kind of deer that wore spike heels. Thats all there is YUK YUK YUK. I too was 265 now down to 220 an wearing a size 14 dress an skirt . I buy Blouse that have sort of a puffy sleave to hide my arms or long ones. I go out a lot, get red ever once an awhile but I always say, yes I am when asked if I am a man. Jo

[Carole]

Easy one Erica, tell them that in winter conditions your facial hair causes problems with the cold and damp conditions, therefore to save chapped skin below the facial hair you decided to shave in the winter months. This way you can administer moisturiser to your skin to ward off chapping and chafing..........

[Vivian Best]

Hi Erica,
maybe I'm a hard one but I don't believe its anyone's business when or how often you shave, even friends.

[Robin777]

Erica,
I'm with Vivian. It's nobody's business if and when you shave off your facial hair. Just tell them you got tired of it. End of conversation. I don't think anyone is going to associate it with you being a Cross Dresser. I can't see anyone getting suspicious. It's your body. I used to have a mustache that I would grow out and shave off. I just told anyone that asked why it was gone that I got tired of it. Then one day it was gone and it has never came back.

Shave it off and enjoy yourself. Life's too short to worry about what others think.

[xNicolex]

Hi Erica its totally up to you weather you keep facial hair or not Conchita Wurst is a famous trans celeb that rocks a bread full time guy/girl mode and still looks glam its totally up to you but don't fear the beard

[Tracii G]

Yeah shave your beard and it means you are gay and a crossdresser.