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Thread: Am I bisexual?

  1. #1
    Kendra FirstTimeCD's Avatar
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    Am I bisexual?

    Recently I am having fantasy of benign with trans or sissy boy. Getting thought of having sex with another man. I am not sure why because so far I am straight. Just getting excited about thinking all these. Any idea why?

  2. #2
    Member Natasha V's Avatar
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    They could be just fantasy's, Do you also admire or think of straight Men. If yes then most likely if not your just curious.

  3. #3
    Kendra FirstTimeCD's Avatar
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    I never tried but feeling like I want to explore that side. Not getting attracted but just thinking how that experience would be. Show I try or not?

  4. #4
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Yes, something other than a heterosexual. Bi-sexual, bi curious.... Should you try? sure. Are you in a marriage or a committed relationship? That then becomes a whole other problem. I am never going to suggest cheating on a partner just because you have an urge. If you are single, then by all means, explore what you really desire. It may be more along the lines of bi-curious fantasy, or it may be something more. Only one way for you to find that out.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

  5. #5
    Member Natasha V's Avatar
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    You have to realize you can not take back what you do just keep that in mind.
    Do be careful.

  6. #6
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    If its just a trans or sissy boy (not sure what that really is) its probably just a bi curious fantasy that you are having.
    Just because you CD doesn't mean you are gay or change your sexual preference.
    If you are single I see no harm in testing the waters but be very careful and wear protection.That goes for both of you.
    If you are married to a woman and love her then maybe not such a good idea.Thats cheating.
    I realize a lot of you here are into casual sex and LOVE isn't part of the equation but for me LOVE is a very big thing and I have to care about a person deeply to have sex with them.

  7. #7
    Member laura.lapinski's Avatar
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    You have these feelings for a lot of reasons. Reproduction, is deeply ingrained in our DNA, and it feels so good so that we not only don't forget to do it, but that we are driven to do it (most people). Our brains make so many associations that we are unaware of, and some we are. Our brains drive to get that dopamine secretion that makes us feel euphoric, satisfied, and so on. It knows how to conjure up thoughts to make that happen. Our associations are developed over time and can be due to childhood trauma such as verbal or physical abuse (including sexual abuse). Our brains can sometimes re-create situations in the present in order to try to fix a past wrong done to us, or gain control over that wrong and try to make it right. Over time, our brains may need to create new and exciting things to get us going.

    You may want to assume the female role because females are the ones who decide whether sex happens or not, and your brain admires the female form so much that it may want that power for itself too. To get that power, the brain creates a scenario where you are that woman with the power, and to get that power it drives you to dress, act, think, and emulate womanhood.

    From the very brief information you have provided, it sound like you are not gay, but instead a little bi-curious. No harm in exploring it more if you are not in a committed relationship. If you don't want to experiment, that is ok too. Perhaps, reviewing your own inventory of the power you have as a man will change the equation? It's a cheap (free) experiment to try. If you try dating another CD, be careful with STD's and use protection.

  8. #8
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Are you bisexual? The only way to find out is by having sex with a guy and seeing if you want to do it again. And again. And again. Just having a fantasy about it (which is so very common according to many threads in this forum), is just a fantasy and does not necessarily indicate that you WOULD be actually turned on by a man, should you find yourself in bed with one. And just having sex with a guy once and then making the decision you would prefer keeping it as a fantasy in the future as opposed to a recurring situation, falls under "experimentation" and also does not indicate bisexuality.

    Bisexuals are people who do have the ability to have ongoing relationships with either males or females.

    You also ask why. Well, if it's just sex that you want without a relationship (you did specifically mention with trans/sissy boys), this is more an indication of kink/fetish than an actual attraction to males. It's more about having sexual fun while you are dressed (and wherever this takes you in your head), than any real attraction to the inner person that you are having sex with.

    Reine

  9. #9
    Adyson Saikotsu's Avatar
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    Would it matter if you were? You seem excited about the prospect. If you're in a relationship, you might want to talk with your partner first. Some partners might be okay with it, and some might even want in on the action. Most, however, will be rather upset though, so it might be best to keep this in the realm of fantasy if you're currently in a relationship.

    If not, then go ahead. I would suggest that if you do find a guy willing to engage in this stuff, you should both be careful and use protection of course.

  10. #10
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    its normal for gals like us to have those fantasys....not everyone actually acts on them though. I am bi-sexual myself, had the same thoughts, acted on them and found out I like it , might be your cup of tea....might not be....only you can make that decision for yourself xoxo

  11. #11
    Member EllieMayxxx's Avatar
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    I am straight but recently I have been having these fantasies often. Im not sure if I would carry them out but i will try anything once.
    Ellie May 😘

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member MissDanielle's Avatar
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    I am attracted to woman and view myself as female but I've had fantasies lately of getting together with those that are FTM.

  13. #13
    Member StephanieH's Avatar
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    I think we all eventually get around to having these fantasies, and some of us act on them. I think it's just part of the female side of us - what does it feel like to be a girl in every sense of the word? I've never done it, but likely will eventually. My wife's Bi, thankfully, and we've have a great relationship, so the subject has been broached within the context of allowing her to have a boy toy for occasional fun and I would be allowed to "help" with the both of them. Still a fantasy, but almost came true last year - turned out the younger guy we'd met with over coffee a few times to talk things out ended up being a jerk who was hiding the fact he had a pregnant girlfriend back at his apartment!!!

  14. #14
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Are you bisexual? The only way to find out is by having sex with a guy and seeing if you want to do it again.
    Not sure that's strictly true. I'd say that if you have to ask, you probably aren't. Sexual attractions don't need experimental confirmation -- when you're in the situation you know what you want. Now, if you haven't yet been in the situation no amount of thought experiment will answer -- you can imagine almost anything. Enjoy the fantasies guilt-free and don't let fantasy commit you to any path in life. Let happiness be your guide there.

  15. #15
    Hi, I'm Kate gokatiegirl's Avatar
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    You're curious at best. In my opinion, to be bisexual it means a lot more than sex. You need to be physically and emotionally attached to somebody before I would put that label on yourself. Many people claim to be a bisexual but are not because they only like penis and not the man. I had a long-time male playmate and we were very attached. Too bad he left me because of cross dressing.
    Kate

  16. #16
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    In my opinion you are not gay or anything else from what you have said. It is a natural thing to fantasize. I have been out with men(CD admirers,and friends) many times and no sex has occurred. I wouldn't allow it. But if your single and want to try it thats up to you, if so then go for it and have fun,but always be careful and have protection.

  17. #17
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    IMHO I think it's normal to find 'beauty' to be 'attractive' but if that 'beauty' causes a tinglin' ya, maybe you're bi, which is perfectly OK!

    I personally think Chris Cornell is freaking HOT but not in a tingly kinda way so I don't think I'm bi, personally 😒

    I think German sports car are HOT too but again, not in a tingly kinda way...OK, maybe.... so what if I wanna have sex with a 911 Carrara turbo S! 😠

  18. #18
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    If u r attracted to the idea of being a woman with a man it MAY be fantasy. Many of us straight dressers have had that fantasy.

    However, if u r also turned on thinking about a man's parts? I'd say you're gay/bi!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  19. #19
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I don't know if the odd fantasy of having sex with a man would classify you as bisexual. Now, if you actually have sex with another man and enjoy it, as well as enjoy having sex with women, then THAT I think would classify you as bisexual. AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! Enjoy being who you are. Just be careful who you enjoy being it with!
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  20. #20
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    Kendra, every thing has a beginning, some things you try for the first time and you are glad you did and they continue to bring you enjoyment, so yes you should try this. When you dress as a woman this will help you feel like a woman when doing this and you will be trying this for the first time just as every woman try's this for the first time, so you're no different than a woman. Some women like it and some don't, you've got to try it to find out. If you like it, it could definitely make you feel more womanly dressing and doing the same thing they do. To not try it could deprive you of a lot of pleasure at the young age of 26, it may take you several times to start enjoying it,

    Watch some porn on how the actors do this if you want to make a good impression.
    Good luck, let us know.
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 12-02-2015 at 03:15 PM. Reason: some things are not allowed

  21. #21
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    ReineD has it right. If you have sex with a man and like it, you are gay or at least bisexual.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by gokatiegirl View Post
    You're curious at best. In my opinion, to be bisexual it means a lot more than sex. You need to be physically and emotionally attached to somebody before I would put that label on yourself. Many people claim to be a bisexual but are not because they only like penis and not the man. I had a long-time male playmate and we were very attached. Too bad he left me because of cross dressing.
    If you like the idea of playing with the manparts but not being in a relationship with a guy, you could be bisexual but heteroromantic. Also, don't forget that sexuality can be fluid and changeable in some people and according to situations or over time, and that identifying yourself as one label doesn't mean you can't change it later as you change or learn more about yourself and your interests.

    If you're not in a committed relationship and the idea intrigues you, why not try it? If you don't care for it, you aren't obligated to do it again. As with any form of dating/hookup, I recommend meeting for coffee first. I also suggest letting the other person know it's your first time and that you're uncertain but curious. And play safe.

  23. #23
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    If you are attracted to more than one gender, you are bisexual. There are degrees of this - for example, you could be heteroflexible. Most of your attraction is to the opposite sex, but you sometimes are attracted to the same sex. And like mayo said, you can be only romantically attracted to the opposite sex.

    Here's a list of stuff you do not have to do in order to be bisexual:
    1. Have sex with someone of the same sex at some point, as well as having sex with someone of the opposite sex at some other point. You don't magically become straight the first time you have sex with someone of the opposite sex. You are born with your sexual orientation.
    2. Have sex with a man and a woman at the same time - a three way.
    3. Be equally attracted to men and women.

    If you are attracted to people of more than one gender, and this is something that happens consistently through your life, whether you actually have sex with them or not, you are probably bi. It's ok to be bi.

    It is a little more difficult if you are just fantasizing about a specific sex act. You may not be allowing yourself to really feel attraction towards a person - believe me, the pressure to be straight in this society is enormous. Given that bisexuality is erased in our culture (you are either straight or gay in modern America - ask anybody - it's all viewed as based on who your partner is...), it can be very hard to admit to yourself that you are bisexual, or even understand what that means. It's not like there are lots of examples of it.

    I was 52, and far along in my gender transition before I admitted to myself "oh hell I'm bi!"

    So yes OP, you could be bisexual, and if you feel that fits you, then you are.

  24. #24
    Daniella Argento
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    Fwiw we are probably all to at leadt some extent bisexual. Being sexual is ingrained in us. It forms part of power relations, play, recreation and procreation... We can be sexual with all types of people. Society tells us to attach value judgments to sexuality,nwhich means we need labels and then we fear being jdger and so we adopt a sexuality... Not sure this is our natural state...

  25. #25
    Aspiring drama queen Isabella Ross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danitgirl1 View Post
    Fwiw we are probably all to at leadt some extent bisexual. Being sexual is ingrained in us. It forms part of power relations, play, recreation and procreation... We can be sexual with all types of people. Society tells us to attach value judgments to sexuality,nwhich means we need labels and then we fear being jdger and so we adopt a sexuality... Not sure this is our natural state...
    Daniella, yes, totally agree, but would add that I think there is a continuum of sexuality...and that those who occupy the polar ends of the continuum are probably rare; the majority of us are probably somewhere in the middle (kind of like the gender continuum). We are all just way too hung up on labels. If it feels good, do it -- providing you are not hurting someone, or destroying trust, etc.

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