Of course not.Originally Posted by ReluctantDebutant
I understand this is hard to imagine, but imagine a world where you could tell women this stuff, and have a decent chance of it being acceptable because women who do like this, few though they may be, would feel free to talk about it themselves, and actively seek such partners. That's what wider acceptance could get you.
I'm sorry so many of you don't see the benefits of being out has had for the broader LGBT community. I think it's kind of sad that some of you who do know those benefits deny them for whatever reasons you have. But look, it's your lives. If you think staying hidden, conforming to a world with standards that don't really seem to fit people like you, is the way of the future, then I guess you aren't being left behind. If you think gays and lesbians were MUCH better off in the closet, if you think anti-crossdressing laws were THE BOMB, then maybe all this coming out stuff is really a terrible idea. Maybe you have fun hiding? That wasn't my experience, but hey, that's just me.
As for any agenda I might have, or feeling that CDs need to be out for the same reasons as transsexuals, that's just silly. Honestly, the case for people like me who do identify solidly as women (or men, for the trans guys) is easier if we ignore crossdressers. Talking about y'all really muddies the water. Doesn't help that there's a certain amount of prejudice against you in some segments of the trans community. The sex stuff that goes on with CDers is viewed as making you not legitimate in the eyes of some trans people I've spoken with. (You have no idea how frustrating it is to talk with a couple of transitioning former drag queens and listen to them badmouth CDs. Talk about hypocrisy.) There are plenty of us who'd throw y'all under the bus to help our own cause. All I can tell you is that as someone who's lived through being thrown under the bus, I suspect that should that happen, you might not like it very much. And history and human nature being what they are, that's probably what will happen, unless some of you stand up for yourselves. Believe me, given some of the past history some CD groups treated those of us who transition, there are some who'd argue y'all have it coming, and deserve nothing.
Oh - and for those of you who think I do this for some type of self-aggrandizement? The only way you'll get rid of someone like me who you perceive to be a self-serving fool who talks about your issues to serve their own purposes is to stand up and speak for yourselves. Otherwise, you're left with people like me doing it for you, for whatever reasons we might choose to do it. You're WELCOME!
If you are interested in why I care about CDs at all, the actual reason is very simple. A number of folks who identify as CDs now are, in fact, trans women. That certainly was my experience. Some number of them die rather than come out and be their true selves. The culture of secrecy some of y'all seem to be promoting kills people. It also makes certain aspects of your lives less pleasant, in my opinion. The inability to tell who's a CD and who's a transsexual, until that person transitions, means that some people like me are ensconced amongst your highly closeted ranks. The ones who can't get past the shame to come out and transition often have really terrible endings. And that I cannot abide. I will also add that I've talked to a great many of you. Very few of you seem terribly happy, and quite a number seem pretty miserable. I hate that, and it makes me hope for changes that would better your lives. Really I hope and pray for changes that will better ALL of our lives.