The booby prize

[Donnagirl]

Hi all,

As I've had so much spare time and I'm now 100% full time, I've had the opportunity to conduct a few simple social experiments around passing - what helps, what doesn't and mistakes for young players.

Most of what I've learned only reinforces what has been said many times:

1. Dress like everyone else - short skirts and stilettos in the shopping mall will get you noticed.

2. Don't try to hide - sunnies and a hat in a supermarket are the wrong look.

3. Don't try to hard - if you spend to much effort trying to walk right, stand right, carry yourself how you think you should, you'll stand out (and you won't enjoy the experience).

4. Go easy on the makeup - only enough to cover the obvious. Less is certainly best. Perfume, however needs to be noticeable but not overbearing.

5. Don't worry too much about the voice - just talk normally, it's the easiest to maintain. If everything else looks right then voice alone will not reveal you.

6. Be confident - strut like you own the place...

Now there is one thing that can make the most difference, can make a poor presentation pass...

Cleavage

The level of 'passing' appears to be directly proportional to the amount of breast on display (respectable display I should add). The things I can get away with if the top is low cut enough amazes me... No makeup, cheap wig... Doesn't matter. If the girls are visible, the rest is irrelevant. So, if you've got it, flaunt it if not fake it as best you can.

[Victoria Demeanor]

Thanks Donna, for the words of wisdom. Will definitely put these on my to do list.

[Ashley Lyn]

Unfortunately, my 'girls' would be lost in an AA or training bra..
I like my 'fake girls', but they aren't something that I can show as 'cleavage'..
The trials and tribulations of not really having real ones..

[Nadine Spirit]

While I feel as though upon close inspection I never pass fully and totally, I have caught quite a few folks only look at my cleavage and not my face at all, so... maybe with them I do pass fully. But there are plenty that look back and forth between my boobs and my face with a very perplexed look on their face, clearly trying to figure out just what exactly is going on.

I do agree with your tips for being out. Though I at times will push the boundaries of things like makeup and outfits.

[Robin414]

Thanks for this Donna, I can't freakin wait for my Transwonder bra to arrive!! 😀

[Eryn]

At a 38A after six months of HRT I'm not too hopeful of cleavage!

I've found that the best aid to acceptance is a confident attitude. If you walk up and initiate the conversation it does wonders for your presentation.

I agree about voice. Other than trying to keep the resonance in my head, not my chest, I don't alter my voice that much.

[Peggie Lee]

Recently at a cafe for breakfast and as I was ordering I looked up at the waiter and realized he was looking down at my breasts, I'm a big 6 ft Trans girl with D cups. It was very reassuring to me that most men don't look at the face first.
P.S. I left him a good tip.

[docrobbysherry]

Donna, I would argue that u have listed ways for T's to blend. I do not pass and have found the best way to blend is dress at home.

When u pass, u don't need confidence because everyone thinks u r and treats u, like a woman. Not as a "maybe not a woman" in fem clothing. If u continually pass, I'll bet it doesn't even occur to u to think about it!

It's only the 90+% of us that don't pass that need confidence if we wish to continue going out dressed!

[LeslieSD]

Thanks for sharing the experience and thoughts. I was very conscious about my voice, and had a hard time getting over it. Hope next time I will relax more and not worry about it.

[ReineD]

Excellent advice, these are all things my SO does ... except the cleavage, but in our case it hasn't made any difference. People are respectful and if they know, they don't let on.

[AngelaYVR]

#1 has lots of wiggle room. There's plenty of options between "one of the herd" and hot tottie. I do not dress like the majority and have always had a wonderful experience.

[Carmen]

Well said Donna. Over the years I have arrived at the same factors.
"Be confident - strut like you own the place..." to me is lving in YOUR world and not theirs.
And yes...my rack usually gets more attention than the rest of me.

[pamela7]

That's a great list Donna,

I've seen a couple of counter-examples on the cleavage "front", so i'll take them as the exceptions that prove the rule.

My SO was saying exactly the same as point 4 last Friday; less is more on the make-up front; be light-handed when applying stuff.

The confidence thing tho is a doozy. Sometimes it's about that, other times, it's forgetting you're even dressed, it's just "who you are", natural being, so that no-one worries about it.

[Krisi]

I have posted many of the same things over the years except for the cleavage and voice. That's good advice.

I think most crossdressers are outed by the inappropriate clothing and makeup. We're not supposed to look like hookers.

[I Am Paula]

I agree. I've been full time almost three years now.
A fake Minnie Mouse voice will get you noticed. Your own voice is probably higher than Demi Moore,Lorraine Bracco, or Bea Arthur already.
Remember, there are three types of people out there- Those who see 'woman'. Those who see 'transwoman', and by far the biggest group- those staring at their phones, and seeing nothing at all. None of these groups gives a hoot about you.

[Sarasometimes]

I agree with your list and would add hips help for those approaching from that directions and I would define strut like you own it to mean walk like a confident female, not a confident male!

[Acastina]

A fake Minnie Mouse voice will get you noticed. Your own voice is probably higher than Demi Moore,Lorraine Bracco, or Bea Arthur already.

Ok, there's three actresses to study. Put one of their episodes or movies on and parrot back their lines, looping the dialog if you're technically competent. It's one of the best ways to develop a feminine tone in a deeper voice and come across as natural.

[melissa_rinaldi]

I am unfortunately 'blessed' with one of the hairiest chests around. As my wife of 26 years knows and has disdain around my feminine side, exposing cleavage hasn't been a viable option. That said, I've cleared the forestimate twice in past five years and managed to a great job taping. The picture attached is from one of those times. I have another shot that includes my face that I may post later. What you need to know is that I was having a bad 'everything' day. In other words, I never would have passed this day without the girls. But with the girls I got positive attention from just about every guy I passed. Further, a lot of women noticed as well, but I'm sure most weren't looking for reasons of lust. Note my slightly protruding waste and lack of hip definition. Again, all eyes drawn to the girls. What a day it was. I felt so powerful having all of these guys captivated by my chest.

[Helen_Highwater]

Donna,

Such great advice.

Picking up on what Pamela says;

"The confidence thing tho is a doozy. Sometimes it's about that, other times, it's forgetting you're even dressed, it's just "who you are", natural being, so that no-one worries about it. "

What I've come to realise is that I used to be scanning the crowds in the shopping outlets looking for those who were looking at (reading) me. I came to realise that if I ignored them, they ignored me. My looking at them drew their attention to me. My eye contact initiated closer scrutiny. Just go about your business and ignore everyone else.

[ShelbyDawn]

I totally agree about confidence being key to enjoying yourself. I am a terminal guy in a dress but have been out a few times and had a blast.
I just be myself and let other people worry about their opinions.

If you can swing it, I do recommend getting your makeup professionally done at least once. It is so much fun to be pampered like that.

As for the voice, talking normal is a definite tell for me as I have one of those FM DJ voices and when I used to sing qualified as a "basso profundo", Low b flat was a piece of cake...

[MarciManseau]

And remember, there's a big difference between daytime and nighttime makeup - a LOT less in the daytime, and even at night if you're just going out to a store for food, etc, then go with a daytime look.

[jenniferinsf]

ah melissa.....you have the advantage over me on the cleavage and have taken to heart donna's comments

just saying.....certainly nobody looking at anything else...

[melissa_rinaldi]

I have nothing close to that normally, no sign of 'man boob' whatsoever. I have another picture from earlier I the day (right after taping) that has much more definition. I have this persperation problem where nothing seems to want to sTay stuck to me for long. I found this 3m medical tape that works well and if I overdo it, I can usually keep my face taped for a few hours before it pops. This being the second time I taped my chest, I did things a bit different. The first time two things went wromg. One, I had stretch and tape marks on my chest for over a week after. Two, I tripped while modeling my new girls and the tape didn't give, it instead ripped a hunk of skin under my right armpit. That was not cool.

If only I could find a reason to need to have my chest bare, or my wife would suddenly like the hairless me.....

[sometimes_miss]

One thing I've learned from walking through the streets of Manhatten so much, is that most people simply can't be bothered. They don't really give a hoot what you wear, whether it's appropriate for your age, your shape, or your sex. You can wear a toupe backwards, an nobody's going to say a word, even if they think you're an idiot. Most people who think they pass, don't. It's just that nobody really cares what we do, as long as we don't bother them. Consider all the 'people of walmart' videos, and nobody says anything to most of them, either.

It's when we start getting involved in their lives that it becomes a problem for them. Leave them alone, and 99% of them will leave you alone. Just watch out for that 1%.

[MarciManseau]

Thanks for this Donna, I can't freakin wait for my Transwonder bra to arrive!! ��

Fill it with helium and maybe you can fly - just like WonderGirl