Strange greeting by SA

[Suzie Petersen]

Wow! This thread went in a totally different direction than I was expecting. And I have to say I was also not expecting the harsh tone of the comments.

Thanks for letting me know the inbox was full Bobbi, I have cleared out some space so there is room for more .. colorful .. emails.

I wonder how this would have gone if I had just told you the part about the greeting being "Are you looking for someone", and left my reply to the SA out of it?

Anyway, you are right, I did not have to make the smart-ass comment I did.

- Suzie

[Bobbi46]

Suzie, No it was not a smart arse reply it was how you felt at the time the sa should have worded her comment better.

[Stumble]

I found your comment hilarious. She may too when she has a chance to tell others about it.

[Laurana]

the sa should have worded her comment better.

Why? The clerk did nothing wrong nor did she say anything wrong. She asked a simple question. That's it. And yes, it was just a simple question not some deep quandary that needs to be thought out beforehand.

What if the situation was reversed and Suzie was in fact looking for someone and the clerk said something? Is the same sarcastic response warranted?

[Allison Chaynes]

Working retail part time right now (Vanity Fair Outlet, no less) .... If I am looking to help a customer, I will ask simply "Can I help you find something?" But it's not unusual for an SA to try and determine who you are shopping for, so they can help you find the right product. Sometimes they can get tongue tied.

Fyi I sold at least six males panties on Wednesday alone. Of course I always wonder if it's a fellow sister, but we keep things professional. The only comment I make at the register is about our return policy. I have only had one this week that I knew with certainty was a CDer buying for herself for probably the first time, with the nervous "It's not for me, it's for someone else!". I told her (she was in drab) that it was going to look great on her "someone else."

[Sarasometimes]

I think you were rude regardless of how you think you said what YOU wrote as your very words "No, I doubt it..." and walked away. You thought we would all come to your defense and when that didn't happen you add that it was said nicely and tried to back-pedal. What you said can't be said nicely based on your post. Also the illustrations you posted are weak and sound more like an excuse for your rudeness.
One nice thing I have added to my en male behavior is to be more friendly to strangers and give them the benefit of the doubt as i find this to be more of a feminine attribute which is just nice.
My guess is that she will likely now opt to just ignore males when they come in and take her chances that way.
Please be kinder next time.

[tamaralynn]

I think a dream of mine in my forties, would be to have a young female SA ask me if I was looking for someone. I would have told her I am flattered but am happily married. That's my spin on it! Wishful thinking?

[AngelaYVR]

Every so often we make a mistake. I think the point has been hammered home now.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Suzie, It looks like everyone just wanted to take you to the Wood Shed, I didn't see it that way. ~~......

[Eryn]

Of course, "Are you looking for someone?" could also be interpreted as "Are you looking [to buy a gift] for someone?" depending upon the subtle vocal inflection.

English is such a tricky language

[stefan37]

So. The SA walks up with a smile and asked if you were looking for someone. Probably meant are you looking to buy for someone. And you answered her sarcastically and retorted " I doubt it ". Had you been enfemme? I would have imagined she would have approached with a smile and asked the same question.

Not sure what was going through your mind, but you acted rudely.

[Angie G]

I'm sure you have said something the your head didn't send to youe mouth. I don't belive there is any reason to talk like that to anyone.
Angie

[Suzie Petersen]

Sorry, the feeding frenzy is over. I am not taking the bait.

- Suzie

[jjjjohanne]

Once I was in the women's lingerie, hosiery, pajamas section in a department store and a saleslady asked me roughly the same question. She said, "Are you shopping for someone else?" At that point in time, I was not nearly out or confident. I was dressed as a boy. I was shocked. There were customers near by. I replied with the truth, "No." She realized what had just happened and then I think she started feeling as awkward as I did. She probably picked up from my reaction that she had made me uncomfortable. Anyhow, I ended survived. No one reacted meanly to me. But, I still do not know what she possibly could have meant by asking that. Perhaps she was trying to distinguish if I was there with my wife or if I was by myself shopping for her. But, I was option C, No, "I'm a dude who wears this stuff."

[Robin414]

Not directly related to the OP but the worst greeting I've gotten from a SA...none at all 😡

As a guy I'm completely Alpha but as a tween or full femme, I'm still completely 180 and need (and fortunately often receive) a little encouragment 😓

[Mink]

Sorry, the feeding frenzy is over. I am not taking the bait.

- Suzie

you still don't even understand what's going on do you?

hehe!



man some people are really odd in how they read things (and I thought I was really odd!) ... like that other one... "are you shopping for someone else?" ... and you wondering "what she possibly could have meant by asking that" ...?

are you kidding me?

she meant just what she said... the assumption being that you are shopping for someone else... because that's reality!


hoo boy this thread is a goldmine!

in the case of the thread starter some people are DAMN out of it yet darn proud of it!

that "doubt it" in regards to her helping you was one of the meanest AND most out of it things I can think of

and you STILL don't know why!

ha!!!

[shayleetv]

It sounds to me that there had been a lot of husbands looking for their wives before your encounter with the SA. You have to be aware that people ask question in that forum based on their experiences before you encounter them. I don't know how many times I have been looking for my wife and been asked "Can I help you find something?" My answer to that question is "My wife!" Sounds to me the SA was asking a reasonable question based on what might have been happening in her encounters with the men coming into that store.

[Katey888]

Oh dear... pre-Christmas spirit was running thin on the ground everywhere it seems...

So everyone here has never had a bad day and never snapped at someone because of a misinterpretation or because they were perhaps focused on something else like - what they were shopping for..? Right...

In defence of Susie, a question that incorporates a premise based on an assumption, is a bad way to greet anybody walking into a store. While I have limited retail experience, if I was training SAs in any sort of store where customers self-select, I'd want the greeting to be: "Good morning - is there anything I can help you with today?" (except for afternoons and evenings, obviously.. )

The more I think about this, the more "Are you looking for someone?" is a really bad thing for an SA to say. Implicit in that is the belief that you can't be shopping for something... wrong attitude! Everyone who walks in the door has money to spend whether they're grumpy, happy, sleepy or dopey... customers have every right to shop however they're feeling. On the other hand, SAs are on the clock to present a helpful, pleasant assistance to their customers whatever mood they're in...

I'm sure Susie and the SA overcame the poor greeting to leave the world a happier and lighter place at the end of it all...

Katey x

[haylee_burnett]

that's a funny one, depends on the sa.
I remember one asking me do you your wife size - reply yes I do and I mine as well. she had tude right off the bat
and some just know im shoping for me

[Alice_2014_B]

That's interesting.
I've never thought about that before.
Nor can I recall ever being asked that.

[MelanieAnne]

She may have thought you were the husband or boyfriend of someone who works there.

[NicoleScott]

"Are you looking for someone?"
"Normally when I walk into a store, I'm looking for someTHING, not someONE."
"Sorry, are you looking for someTHING?"

Now it's time to double down on the sarcasm.

"No, I'm looking for my wife." haha

[Sometimes Steffi]

What's so weird? A man walked into a women's store and the clerk asked if you were looking for someone. Not odd at all. Nor is it weird.
Your reaction on the other hand was uncalled for to say the least. You could have just said no and continued shopping, but instead you decide to get sarcastic and rude.

I'm going to go along with a lot of others here. I think her question was perfectly reasonable; men wait for their wives/girlfriends at clothing stores all the time, as compared to the number of men who either shop alone for themselves or their SO's in women's clothing stores, which are very few. The SA probably knew there were women in the dressing room and was only trying to help.

Frankly, I think you were totally rude to the sales associate. All she was doing was asking if you were shopping for a gift for a wife, girl friend, SO or even yourself. Your response was "weird." Don't be so thin skinned.

I agree with those above. 'nuff said.

[Julogden]

Given the setting and time, she assumed you were looking for your wife/girlfriend who you were shopping with. Why get angry at her for an honest mistake?

[Kimberley May]

Sorry, the feeding frenzy is over. I am not taking the bait.

- Suzie

I am also soooooo sitting here in judgment over you of what a real meanie Minnie you were to this poor SA girl. You've likely shattered her confidence and ruined her day. Tut tut tut.

Nah not really. I wasn't there so I can't really say. She likely got over it in a second anyway. Doesn't sound to me like any major deal. So I think it's a little ironic that you're being told to lighten up. TBH it might actually make her a little more unassuming and a little more confident when dealing with guys, as that is likely why she bumbled her words in the first place. You've likely done many other guys who shop there either for their SO etc or for themselves a favour actually