This is going to be a rather long winded post, so I appreciate you time in reading the entire post and providing me your feedback.
I’ve known from a very early age that I liked feminine things and for most of my life, I was able to suppress my feminine desires. I would sneak and wear a pair of panties when I could. Mostly when I was home alone or traveling for business.
This changed a little over two years ago when I came out to myself and my wife that I was a crossdresser. I used Halloween as an opportunity. Afterwards, I told my wife how much I enjoyed it and that I wanted to do more of it.
She asked lots of questions and was generally ok with it. I’ve learned to respect the boundaries that she’s given me which work for both of us.
At that time, I thought I was a guy who liked wearing woman’s clothing. Since then, I’ve discovered it is much more than that for me.
I now accept that a big part of me is feminine and I like who I have become. I find that with each passing day, I continue to push more and more to my feminine me. This includes physical things, like keeping my eyebrows shaped, my nails done and wearing feminine underwear every day. Of late, I’ve added a little make up each day. Mostly eye shadow and mascara and some days some lipstick. I have smallish breasts which fill an A cup nicely and wear bras out of the house on occasion.
My emotions and my heart are all feminine which I accept and embrace.
I ask myself all the time, Do I want to be a woman. In my heart, I know the answer is yes, but at this stage in my life I know that this isn’t possible.
So this becomes my struggle. I now feel like a woman in my heart but am unable to fully live as I want to live. I’m sure that many of you have faced similar struggles and I’d love to hear how you handled this and any advice that you may have.