For those of us 'out' to our SO's....

[Helen 2]

How did the first time u showed your 'gurl' side to your partner/wife/SO come about and what was it like?

In my case, 1981, six months before we married. I had shared my story with her before...she was then my girlfriend, before our relationship became serious. I knew I had found the love of my life and....wanted to make sure she knew full well what was 'all of me', including Helen, I had fully disclosed Helen's existence. We had talked a few times about her meeting Helen and she had skirted the issue, so...one day, I was surprised when she said "I would like to meet Helen this weekend'.

I asked her several times if she was sure and she said yes, so we planned for her to come over to my apartment Sunday afternoon for dinner...I would cook and she could meet Helen.

I dressed in a shortish jade green dress with a black sash, stockings, moderate 3" black heels, did my nails, moderate afternoon/evening make-up and started dinner, opening up a bottle of wine before she arrived.

She arrived 20 minutes late and by then I was really scared that she would have had second thoughts but....the finally doorbell rings and I open it a skosh and she's there, a nervous smile on her face. I say hi thru the cracked open door...of course she sees me made up and with a wig...there's an awkward pause and she finally says 'will u let me in now'?

I open the door and stand aside for her and....she stands there, staring at me and looking me up and down and finally says 'honey, you look really good...much better than I imagined. Please turn around and model for me' which I did, which elicited more favorable comments such as 'wow, your legs are beautiful!' She commented on my curves which prompted me to blurt that it was the result of 'padding and reeeally tight foundation garments' -which she then asked to see for herself, commenting specially on my open-bottom girdle with a 'wow, I have not seen one of those in a long time!' Many, many other questions were posed in a conversation which lasted for several hours while we finished cooking, ate and then later sat at the sofa for a long time.

In the end, she said that she could probably not be able to deal with Helen....that she was okay with me dressing occasionally and that she would give me space to do so, but that she would prefer if I kept Helen to myself. 35 years later, she has lived up to her initial position and we've found that balance that still works for us -and I love her for it.

How about you?
Hugs

[Cynthia T]

I remember where we were when I told her. I wish I could remember exactly how the subject came up and what I said. We were talking about unusual sex in general, and I knew by then that I loved and trusted this woman, so I just said that I really enjoyed cross dressing. She was fine with it. A few months later, when I was moving, I parked some of my stuff at her place including the suitcase with Cynthia's clothes in it. I asked if she wanted to see, she said OK. I put on a black peplum dress, long gloves and patent heels. I was not nervous coming out of the bedroom. She was surprised and pleased at Cynthia, said that she was quite different from my male persona. I've been crossdressing in her presence ever since -- over 30 years.

[donnaS]

Haha, oh that subject!
She knew something was wrong. I was frustrated all the time. She couldn't but two and two together.
Thank you Caitlyn Jenner.
My wife has a shift job. Every month different shift. She called me one morning going home from work. In general conversation, she asks, what's up with Bruce Jenner?
I kinda swallowed hard and said he is like us. She asks who is "us".
Boom, I'm transgendered sweetheart.
Now you know, I'm sorry.
I gave her my user ID and password to another transgendered site I was frequently on.
I explained that very good information was on there. She continues to read about the subject.
It's not been easy, but she gets treated right and spoiled. I have insight on part of that, right? Lol
We continue to compromise on what makes us happy.

[karynspanties]

We married very young. 18. We were having sex, she was wearing a white camisole and panties, she sensed I liked the feel of it on my skin. She looked me in the eye as she took it off and then pulled it over my head and arms, took of her panties and put them on me and we proceeded to have very intense sex. She would then atleast once a week dress me up, do my makeup and hair and I would be Karyn for a few hours, then we would have sex. She enjoyed this activity for years. Now menopause has changed her sex drive (zero) and attitude towards Karyn. She does not care if I dress, but does not want to see me 100% anymore.

[Gingersnap]

Wife and I married for 12 years at time and have played around during sex. One day walking through mall I said I would like to get some woman's panties or pantyhose and go home. Put on make up and go at it. She said ok. Since then we go shopping together and she applies my make up. Still a good bedroom action activity for us

[avant1465]

I've been with my S/O for a little more than 4 years. Early-on... about the time we became "an item," I' revealed my C/D to her. She took it in-stride.... and even supported it. It happens that... when we enjoy coffee together, in the morning, over the days' newspaper..... I am dressed. Once, when I came to the table NOT dressed, she asked: "is there something wrong?"... I quickly did dress... and, thereafter, all was well..... She's been a dream come true for me.... BOTH for this, AND the myriad other ways that she and I enjoy life together......

[reb.femme]

...Still a good bedroom action activity for us

Smut, smut and more smut. Have you got any pictures?

I remember the exact place where I came out to my wife. Well, I say came out...She walked in on me as I was doing the washing up and I was wearing her nightie and dressing gown. Sort of like telling her, only in pictures.

She saw me dressed about two months after that 'reveal'. She let me wear one of her dresses and a little cardi, as well as taking some photos for me. She isn't in love with it, but she helps me buying stuff etc.

Becky

[ChristinaK]

I couldn't talk about it with any of my three wives, so I did it the same each time.

For my current wife, she was lying on the couch when I walked in fully clothed and got things heated up. When she went to undress me, she found I was wearing her black, nylon full cut panties and obviously enjoying it. She gave me a pass. As time went on I worked up to nightgowns and again she let me occasionally, but didn't like it.

I got cocky and started wearing both quite often. She threw out some gowns and put her foot down. Since then she has lightened up and lets me wear panties and women's PJ'S to bed every night.

I have since told her a little more, but she is content with not seeing me as Christina. Nor does she know about dressing fully and my excursions out. All she has to do is look in a few drawers, but so far she either hasn't, or has and is playing the game with DADT.

Yes, I'm a sissy coward, but it has worked for me. Full disclosure early on would absolutely have been a relationship ender. I did the panties in our 1st year of marriage. The nightgowns about 3 years. I told her about dressing up around the house about 9 years. We're at 11 years and all is stable. I can even joke a little, my body is shaved,I'm going through laser on my face, chest and belly, I have clear nail polish and have grown my hair out and style frequently very feminine. Clothing is much more androgynous too. It's been baby steps for us.

[Stephanie47]

I did not exactly 'come out' to my wife. In my youth I had dabbled in my mother's lingerie draw and ultimately found myself attired in a dress, bra, panty, slip and hosiery on occasion. After a while my interest in women's clothing waned. When I was in the army I had no thoughts or desires to wear women's clothing. I had not told my wife about my youthful activities because I thought all desires had gone away. Wrong. My wife was a drop dead gorgeous brunette...5 foot 2, eyes of blue and about 110-115 pounds. She wore mini skirts and short dresses of the time to work and play. I loved adorning her in pretties and buying her clothes on our weekend trips to Macy's, Gimbel's and other mid town Manhattan stores. She looked terrific in floor length nightgowns.

One night I got up for a drink of water. I put on one of her floor length nightgowns which I had bought her as a present. I had bought a wrong size. It swam on her but did fit my then 38 inch chest. My youthful love had been rekindled for nylon...nylon nightgowns and nylon slips. My wife came into the kitchen and found me wearing her gown. Questions. I told her the truth in part. I loved the feel of her nylon gowns. It wasn't cross dressing. It was bedroom play. We went shopping for gowns in my size. I had a nice black gown which is long gone. And, a knee length peignoir which I still have. Her white gown is still in the back of the closet. She also bought me seamed black hose/stockings and a garter belt. Those feminine garments were for occasional use.

Well, I slowly started buying my first love......nylon full slips. It did not bother my wife. But, when our daughter was about three years old....then married 13 years my daughter got into my 'stash' which was no more than a gift box in my lower dresser draw and yanked out a vivid red Vanity Fair bra. That changed my wife's thinking. "Why would a man want to wear a bra when he had nothing to stuff into it?" I did not have man boobs and still had my military days physique. We had the "talk." She did not want to see any of it anymore. Bedroom play did not transform into accepting cross dressing. I yearned for some acceptance, but, it really did not come. Once we went to the mall to buy me a birthday present of panties. It was a disaster. She tried, but, it was tortuous for her. She shook like a leaf. It dawned on me that this was akin to mental spousal abuse. That was the last time we ever approached the subject. Ever since it has been DADT, which has been fine, although she has no clue (I think) of my expanded wardrobe, which now includes over 120 dresses and hundreds of slips and numerous bra and panties, heels and hosiery. Sure, I would love to have a walk-in closet for my stuff to be hung, but, it's not going to happen. The balance has worked well, but, I really wonder what will happen when she fully retired in five years.

[heatherdress]

I would buy my wife shoes, clothing and jewelry frequently, as gifts (birthday, Christmas). I was with her in a Nine West shoe store and she was picking out a pair of heels, which I was buying for her. She asked me if I liked them. I said yes. She asked if they were a turn-on. I said yes. She could see her heels and her questions had a stimulating and obvious effect on me. She then asked if I would be excited to actually wear a pair of my own. I admitted yes. She then picked out a pair of sexy black stilettos. I tried them on as soon as we got home and she immediately saw how excited and happy and nervous I was. She asked me if I would enjoy going further and I said yes. She told me to strip and gave me panty hose, panties, a bra and a top. I put them on with the black heels and the effects were obvious. She asked if I wanted to try make up and she applied lipstick. She then asked me what I felt like. And I said great. We had an intimate discussion, I assured her how much I loved her and cared for her. She told me that she had no problem with me dressing and she wanted me to be happy. She then asked if I wanted to go further and she applied foundation, eye liner, eye shadow, mascara, nail polish and perfume. Over a few hours, I became accepted as Heather. We soon went to Las Vegas and she suggested a professional make-up transformation. I came back to the hotel and she was shocked at how good Heather looked and how happy I was. My purchases of shoes and clothing for her, a discussion in Nine West, a pair of 4 inch stiletto heels, and an intimate adventure and conversation at home resulted in discovery, admission and acceptance of my crossdressing.

[CONSUELO]

Whenever I read these stories I feel sad that so many of us have had to exist in the shadows. If there is one change that I wish I could have made to my early life it would have been to be completely honest and "out there" about my transvestism and sexuality. Trying to live a life of secrets and lies is just so miserable. I give full marks to Caitlyn Jenner for just grasping the nettle and coming out to the entire world. So what that many people felt offended. They just have to get over it.

[kittie60]

Well I didn't come out to my wife my brother and his wife did. They found copies of my medical reports while cleaning out my grandfathers desk. Grandparents raised me from 4 yrs.old. Anyway they asked my wife if she knewand world war 3 was on. This was back in 97. After awhile she wanted to see what I looked like and I showed her. My wife was ok with it for a few years then as of 2 yrs.ago she moved out. Said she hated it and that was that. We are still married and see one another 3 to 4 days every month. However for someone who hates it so she still asks to borrow a blouse,skirt,or dress which I seldom get back or jewelry that I never get back. Go figure

[Jennifer in CO]

fall of 75...

We met at college. Going away from home (faaar away) I finally had the opportunity to be "me". I didn't know who (or what) I wanted to be but I knew for some reason I would be able to be "me" here. One of the first evenings at a freshman gathering, I met her. Over a 30AA padded bra, panties and pantie hose I wore a navy cowl-necked sweater with what would be today skinny jeans but back then were just a size too small black jeans so they were snug and hid my "thing" with it tucked back and a pair of black penny loafers. With my hair pulled back in a schrunchie at the back of my head (not "girly" high but not masculine low either). Wearing a waist coat, no one could see my lil mounds on my chest so at worst I looked like an effeminate male. She saw me there. Later, she would tell me she saw my tight buns in those jeans and liked what she saw. But, she didn't know if I was a boy or a girl. While she knew she was pretty sure she wasn't a Lesbian she was majorly attracted to my butt. The next day was orientation. The majors groups split into small groups with a sophomore acting as a guide, Our "group" was just 3 off us, "her", the guy who would end up as the best man in our wedding, and myself. I wasn't as fem dressed that day as I had been the previous evening, but I was still wearing a girls sweater and the same jeans as the night before with tennis shoes. But now she knew I was a guy.
We dated off and on that first semester. Second semester got a bit more serious. I proposed the summer of 76 but not before "full disclosure". I had returned home for the summer. That was difficult in its self as I had gotten to wearing pretty much nothing but girls clothes for the past 6 months. Girls clothes that were fairly androgynous, but still girls clothes. I knew this was probably the last time I would come home. I wasn't going to change who I was, and I knew that she was my soul-mate. But, I had to know. So, I sent her a letter. I told her I like to wear girls clothes. In fact, the whole time we had been together over the last 6 months I was wearing nothing but girls clothes. If she could accept me, would she marry me?

I got a small package about two weeks later. In it was nothing but a shimmering pink bra and pantie set. I took that as a yes.

I left to come back to college mid July. My purpose was to ask her Dad for her hand in marriage. About two weeks prior, I received another package from her. In it were a pair of white gauze linen slacks (no pockets, no zip and no belt loops - definitely girls), a dark blue blouse, both appeared she had made (no tags etc) and a pair of suntan pantie hose. I wore that outfit over the pink bra/pantie set she had already bought me along with a new pair of earth shoes I bought myself for the plane ride back to Colorado. So attired I asked her hand in marriage.

[ShannonDragon]

We were in collage. We had been going together for about 6 weeks and it just came out.
She helped me buy my very first stuff that were entirely my own (not my sisters).

I was a senior and she was a freshman in pharmacy.
We went together for 5 years for her to finish then got married.

She never backed down and after 37 years she still buys me stuff for my birthday and Christmas.

[RADER]

On my second date with my future date; I was waiting for her where she lived with her daughter
in the living room with a TV on. There was a awards show on the screen, and they where showing
the red carpet with all these pretty girls walking down the carpet. I saw one in a pretty blue gown
with a wide skirt, high waist, shoulder straps, sort of Renascence stile.
As she walked into the room, I said, "Look at the pretty dress, I wish I had one like that" She laughs
and asked, "Where would you wear that to". I just said why would I have to go anywhere, Just try
it on.
3 weeks go's by and I am having a cook out in the back yard. and of coarse it has to storm. So we go
inside to avoid the storm, when all of a sudden she ask's me; "What kind of dresses do you have?"
I said I only have a few skirts and tops.
She asked to see some, so I go up stairs and put on a skirt and top, No Bra, no wig, no makeup,
just a man in a skirt.
Well she looked it over and said that she liked it, but I should stay in the house because I did not
look anything like a girl being as big as I am.
We where married about 8 months later. She recommended I use her panties when we where on
a trip out of town, and I neglected to pack enough man's underwear for the trip.
She said, wear some of mine, I have extra, and you might like them.
O" And I did; I started wearing panties, (My Own) every day after that.
She would "Dress" me up on Halloween every year to hand out candy to the kids.
Of coarse it was as a French Maid, little Bow-Peep, All kinds of costumes. I think she had more fun
then I did. Most of the time I hated to take them off, But most of the time I had
to go to work in the morning, and Carpenters do not dress as French Maids.
We both retired about 8 years ago; That is when she started me to wearing bra's.
She hated wearing them around the house, and she would tell me, go put your bra on; somebody
should wear a bra, so it might a well be you.---LOL
She passed away almost 2 years ago; I miss hes a lot, I will never find another one like her.
Rader

[Alice_2014_B]

I told the wife and showed her what I look like fully dressed up in person. I was beyond nervous, but after that it hasn't been as nervous when I would be fully dressed up.

[TrishaTX]

\I came out the wrong way and she was not happy to find out that way. After talking to her openly and seeing a therapist, I slowly started the introduction. Panties first in bed, a few times of nylon slips which are my favorite. a moved to forms , shapers etc...we have not done the full makeup or wig yet...it is her line so far...that said patience is a virtue , I am willing to patient as she has been understanding. She now also allows me to go to parties etc...so I consider myself blessed.

[mechamoose]

I really didn't have to tell her, she knew about my lack of 'sexual-related boundaries' early on due to how we met and spent our early days together. I was *always* interested in pretty clothing, and wasn't ever afraid to comment on it. It all just added up on its own. Also, as I'm of Scots decent, I owned kilts and wore them. Seeing my nekkid knees was nothing new

If anything, she encouraged me to go even prettier than I was in my clothing on my own.

- MM

[AngelaYVR]

My wife had known for for about a year and a half before she ever got a really good look at me. She had a quick glance on occasion if I came home from being out and before I made a dash to the bathroom to de-laminate myself. She knew everything and went shopping with me but just never wanted to see the result.

This past October I was going to perform for the first time in an amateur drag show (lip syncing); she knew I was going to do it but waited until the very last minute to tell me that she wanted to see it. The very last minute was the moment I was going to start getting ready and it slowly started to sink it what that meant - seeing me properly for the first time AND watching me perform (the song was Elle King's "Exs and Ohs" and is about using men and tossing them aside, so a nice extra layer of agonising.)

I was messing up my makeup, couldn't get the eyelashes on and texting my friends who were going to be there that I was having a mini meltdown. A couple of glasses of vineyard juice and some supportive messages from my friends finally got me ready. The upshot of all this was that my wife met us at the club and first off had trouble looking at me but as the evening wore on she started to thaw. After my performance she had really warmed up and was all smiles and laughter. We walked back home together, stopping to get a slice of pizza and had a great night. From that point on, I have not had to hide my dressing any longer and we have gone out together on several occasions, just us and also with friends.

[Starshine24]

It was after a party and I was absolutely hammered out of my mind and thought it would be a great thing to admit to her after we've been together for almost a year. She didn't know how to respond to it then but then brought it back up a few days later. I then told her about it. For months she was worried I was "turning gay" or I was losing interest in her. I had to keep assuring her that neither were true. She said I could as long as she wasn't around as she wanted nothing to do to with it. I'm not sure how it happened, but she decided to get something started when she came home and discovered me dressed up one night, and she became interested in it. It's been over a year later and she still doesn't want me to do it all the time, but she likes buying things with me and even now I am setting across the table from her on my laptop typing this in a little makeup and OUR favorite nightie.

[Sister Rachel]

Just told her one night when we were in bed, about three years into our marriage. She was ok about it but not exactly enthusiastic, she quite liked me wearing her panties before/ during lovemaking but that was as far as it went until much later, about five years ago. I actually fully came out and dressed in front of her ( New Years Eve, black prom dress, tights with faux suspenders, dancing to Abba if you want the details ) as an act of defiance and a statement of my rights in reaction to some unreasonable alcohol related behaviour on her part. This wasn't at a party, you understand, Anne's drink problems were such at that point that we couldn't go out and socialise, so it was just us in our flat, but I was going to drink that champagne, baby, I was going to have some fun! I suppose this must sound terrible to you reading, but it's the truth. Things are much, much better now, Anne has been in successful recovery for nearly three years and is employed giving support and counselling to people with alcohol and drug problems, she's fine with me dressing at home, although she doesn't like the idea of me going out dressed in public,( I wouldn't anyway, I'd never "pass") and given me a bit of a nudge towards coming out to trusted friends and family, which I have done with no negative reactions so far

.. she does tend to ( unknowingly) steal my panties though .. well, she's naturally thrifty, whereas I always go for quality, you can't beat Sloggi!

[Kandi Robbins]

I told my wife about a year ago (only 28 years into our marriage, but it took me almost that long to accept it myself). I have complete freedom to do whatever I want, but really never dress around the house (except, of course, to go out) and will never do anything to embarrass her, so I am very careful closer to home. Now I have a very extended wardrobe and dressing is casual conversation between us. It's treated very much like a valued hobby of mine and I am fine with that. I always make sure I remain a husband to her and in her eyes. I go out about 8-10 times a month, doing many different things and going many different places and could not be happier. I married an angel!

[Jenniferathome]

I came out to my wife about 5 years ago. Way late and best decision I ever made. I wrote about her first view of "Jennifer" here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...jenniferathome

This was several months after telling her and the timing just worked out. I am lucky every day for her acceptance of this part of me.

[wendy]

I told my wife last year (2015), and it was the best decision I ever made - no regrets. Was I worried/scared about her reaction, you bet. But having Wendy live in the shadows was becoming a burden I could not live with any longer.

I did drop some hints to her but eventually I just came about and said it. She said she had a strong sense about my CDing a long time ago. I asked her if it would be ok if I dressed up for her to show her my "outfits", she said yes. So on one weekend, while she was napping I changed into Wendy. When she woke up, I said from the basement

"Ok, I'm dressed now"
Her : "Ok, I'm coming down, gimme a few minutes".
Me : "Ok".

So I waited. I was nervous as hell, many thoughts raced through my mind : what would be her reaction ? would it be positive ? negative ? shock ? Then I her footsteps heading towards the basement, clump clump clump down the stairs and there she was. She stared at me and said :

"Nice, you look like an airline stewardess" (I was wearing a black skirt, black tights, black blazer, white blouse, and black pumps).

Then she said :

"Why didn't you tell me before ?"

Overall, she has been terrific. Very supportive, and since we are both similar in size, she is also happy to try on clothes for me when we go shopping. Only thing that isn't the same size is shoes (her : 7, me : 10 or 10.5 womens).

After I told her, she did make one stipulation, and that is I only dress at home. No going out in public. I have abided by that, as I don't want to push the boundaries any further. She also doesn't want me to wear heels walking down the stairs, as she is concerned I may trip and fall (how would I explain that to the EMT ?).

Despite the positive outcome, she still asks "Why didn't you say something earlier ?", "After all this time we've been together, why didn't you say something ?", "When were you going to admit you CD ?".

[MissTee]

I had been infatuated by all things femme since before I was 10 years old, but I kept it in check best I could. About 2 years into our marriage, we were playing in the bedroom one night and my wife coaxed me into wearing her teddy. Great sex followed. Many times after that the situation repeated itself, and my wearing nighties, panties and occasionally a bra, wig, and forms became common place. When we were alone together in the house I wore them around her as we enjoyed morning coffee and breakfast. It was never a big deal.

Oddly, it was 20 years into our marriage when I decided I wanted to wear a dress and cook dinner for us. So, I did. I noticed her watching me with a rather strange look and I asked was she OK. She commented she did not remember seeing me that happy in a long time, and then the barrage of "are you gay" questions began. It was a normal intuitive type of chat (nothing mean or angry.) I answered all "the usual" coming out question over the next month or so, and then we moved on.