Wow, Reine! When I read this, all the lites came on! That explains perfectly why I have this continuing fantasy, while having zero attraction for any of the often charming men Sherry or I have met online and in person! Thank u!
Originally Posted by ReineD
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
this again ... it's gotta be second only to "I love me some pantyhose!" in the anthology of cd.com greatest hits.
And just like always, it has provoked a chorus of "well I'm definitely not gay" from the insecure crowd.
Here's a perspective that I've not seen mentioned too often.
A HUGE component of loving someone else, is loving yourself. If you can't do one, you really can't do the other. I think this likely extends beyond just relationships, into the realm of sexuality. If you are not happy with who you are, how you look, your body, etc ... you will find it hard to become aroused, no matter who you are with.
So ... of you're self-medicating your gender dysphoria by crossdressing (i.e. tricking your eyes into perceiving a body that matches the girl you feel like on the inside so that you can feel 'right' for a time) ... is it any wonder that as you begin to find love and acceptance for yourself, that you might also find that block restraining your sexuality has been removed?
And that while we are in this odd state of fantasizing that our body is different than it actually is, that we might also fantasize about partners with equipment compatible with our imagined new bodies?
As others have said ... for many of us, clothes do not change our sexuality, but provide an alternate interface to it.
I don't think it's that big of a deal. As with anything else .... y'know ... dont do things that would hurt someone else (like cheating on your SO), and don't do thehingshings that will affect your health negatively. But don't have a huge freakouts about of you're gay or not ... for goodness sake ... it doesn't matter! You are you, accept and enjoy that, whatever it is!
"Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir
If I state that I'm completely hetero, how is that to infer insecurity? It is a fact for me aged 56. Please don't tell others how they are. How can you possibly know?
This is as narrow-minded a view as I've seen posted in a while.
Becky
If someone is 100% hetero, that's totally cool, and definitely not a sign of insecurity.
On the other hand, if someone feels need to tell the world about the fact that they are 100% hetero... repeatedly ... in any thread that even hints at the idea that cross gender expression may sometimes also involve homosexual expression ... well, that to me, positively screams insecurity. Maybe that's not the case, but it certainly seems like a reasonable inference. Especially when said posts seem to imply strict labeling.
But hey, that's just my opinion . Everyone on the internet has several, lol.
I don't think 'close minded' is a particularly good description of it, but hey whatever, lol
"Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir
Good comment Amy: "You are you. ENJOY it" stop the tags and accept that we all enjoy different experiences. I for one am totally gay when dressed. Not for everyone, but what i choose.
If a question is asked and someone answers it truthfully how is that being insecure?
The question asked is "Do you get turned on by men when dressed?"
Some(myself included) stated quite clearly that No we don't get turned on by men just because we slap on a pair of tits. How is that being insecure if it's the truth?
There was no bashing of anyones feelings or opinions.......or rather there was no bashing from those that said no.
Wait -- I'm definitely, 100% not gay! I can state that emphatically or sotto voce. I am, however, bisexual and happy about it. So, now where do I fit on the insecure spectrum?And just like always, it has provoked a chorus of "well I'm definitely not gay" from the insecure crowd.
Just saying, as we should have all noticed by now, we're a very diverse crowd. Saying you're not gay doesn't necessarily say you're hetero or hiding or anything beyond the fact that you're not gay.
To the question: yes, I am attracted to men when I'm presenting female. I'm also attracted to them when I'm presenting male. (Maybe I should get a furry costume and see if I'm attracted to them when presenting chipmunk....)
Last edited by Pat; 01-05-2016 at 05:15 PM.
r.:
Often this is a ""The lady doth protest too much, methinks." kind of moment. By that I mean that the response (denials) are well out of proportion to the original question. That always makes me wonder what the motivation is.
DeeAnn
Were they singing pirate songs, you know, in the key of "Arrrr"?
Last edited by Acastina; 01-05-2016 at 07:14 PM.
I am truly sorry if anyone feels thrown under the bus by my earlier comments in this thread. That wasn't my intent, but in hindsight, re-reading what I wrote ... I can see how that may have been hurtful to some.
Please accept my apologies ... My only motivation was to say "don't worry so much about the labels, and just be free ... Be yourself, love yourself. It's all good"
-Amy
"Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir
How can one provide the right answer?
just like the notion of "denying too harshly" or "protesting too much".
This topic appears too often to even consider any longer. All the same factions have the exact same things to write such that there is no debate to be had. There should be a special forum area for this topic alone given its frequency in appearance and redundancy in comment.
I agree with Amy. My SO has commented "why don't you just live life" to me many times when I question my existence of how I truly am.
It's ironic so many crossdressers are getting up in arms about the suggestion of being attracted to men! Anyway, there's nothing wrong with being attracted to either gender when dressed, I myself have fantasized about a variety of scenarios and although a night with a man might be interesting to try (at least for me anyway), I'm not really attracted to that as a long term lifestyle
This tread probably best demonstrates that the overwhelming commonality we share is difference.
We are so different and unique from one another, there should be no surprise that opinions vary significantly, particularly on serious topics.
What is always disappointing is to see personal attacks which demean others or belittle individuals. This is a website and none of us know the individuals and behaviors we too often judge. I think few us are professionally educated or trained to offer diagnosis, labels, medical opinions or opinions about mental health and normal or abnormal behaviors.
These are our personal opinions and should be recognized and accepted - as opinions. And each of us is entitled to our own opinions.
It is nice to have a thought-provoking thread which does not ask what our favorite color is or when did we first try to use lipstick. But these serious threads often get too serious - and hurt people. This forum should be about support, education and enjoyment. Lighten up.
That's exactly how I would describe it. The fantasy doesn't involve a particular man. But instead being taken, dominated, treated like a woman, and the idea of pretending to be a woman in the most extreme sense. I don't really feel the emotional attachment to men anymore than as friends though. In my fantasy it's no mans face in particular but instead just a manly fit strong body.
I go to the gym all the time and sit in the sauna sometimes with very attractive fit men. I don't find myself getting aroused but moreso an appreciation of their body and a general recognition and acceptance that they are indeed attractive.
I have hooked up with another dresser once. TBH I didn't enjoy the experience all that much. Definitely not into anal. Penis sort of gross me out tbh. But I can fantasize about the experience and get off on just playing the role...hard to explain I guess.
I hooked up with one guy at a gay bar in drag when I was out once. I wouldn't let him kiss me but enjoyed taking him to the bathroom to sort of dominate him and make him blow me. I wasn't getting turned on or any rush from it so I just ended it.
Like I said...I'm a perv. And also, don't discount the right man could maybe change my mind from what happened at the bar.
May just leave this one in the fantasy bin based on experience.
Last edited by Mystique; 01-06-2016 at 08:49 AM.
I opened the door to a "meet" and he had a grey beard. Oh! tought I.
The feeling of him on top of me and his breard bruching my lips and chin.............
A real man loving me .............
While so many have shared their fantasies or real life experiences in this matter, for my personal opinion, the thought of being dressed with another man is foreign & repulsive. That is my opinion, with no commentary as to other respective life styles, and an opinion rendered to give some balance to the original question.
wow....just wow. Is that how one treats a woman? If so, I am staying high and wide of you. Maybe you should look into the life of a "Kajira" I know a few who tried it, many have the scars mentally and physically. Keep it a fantasy, trust me
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Okay, I'm not attracted to men when dressed. However, in male mode I do find selective men attractive and have had encounters with them. I do play with other cross dressers frequently and can say it's much different then playing with a man. Feminine on Feminine is gentle and erotic, man on man is rough and to the point. Cross dresser on man is usually one-way and rough.. not enjoyable to me.
Kate
by saying "I never beat my wife!"
life isn't always yes or no / black & white!
uh!
No, of course not. But the fantasy that Mystique describes certainly is a common one here among CDers. Lori, you're read just as many posts as I have over the years ... wanting to feel vulnerable and wanting to be dominated is pretty high on the fantasy list.
Reine
What Reine speaks of is on point. It's the total fantasy of it. Like looking at the cover of a Romance novel. Some CDers want to be the girl, they want to be the beautiful woman in the arms of the strong, handsome, and romantic man. Not just romance. It's the total fantasy of being her. It's also about seeing the great looking women shopping, at the beach, doing anything and wanting to be them. And you can almost delude yourself into thinking that this overwhelming desire to be them means you are transsexual. All in all, it seems to be a serious fantasy, a fetish, or maybe even a mental condition similar to OCD. I have it, and that's how I view it.
"being taken, dominated, treated like a woman, ..................... "
Unfortunately, this attitude is far too common on this forum. Hopefully, it's just immaturity that people will grow out of but it's a pretty sick attitude even in a fantasy.
Does anybody think it would be fun to be forced to allow a man to penetrate your ...............? To suck your .......... ? To be told what to do and when to do it? That's essentially slavery.
I won't say sex has to b about love or procreation, as long as it's fun for both parties and isn't hurting anyone, that's fine. It's wrong though when one person forces themself on the other.
We are well into the age where women are considered "people" and equal in status to men. For anyone who doesn't understand this, it's time to grow up or get some help.
Another word would be rape.
Stop being numpties!
Nobody has suggested that an innocent party is actually forced to do anything they don't want to - this is someone describing a FANTASY that they themselves might participate in CONSENSUALLY. There are no laws in our jurisdictions against what people are allowed to fantasize nor indulge in with other parties if everyone is a consenting adult, no matter how much some of you might prefer that to be the case.
Fantasies of this type may not be common but they are documented widely amongst females and if some of you actually had the capacity to think or read beyond your boundaries you would realise that your world is not the world.
In retrospect this thread has been derailed enough already and is becoming far too judgmental of minorities here. I'm sure we'll have similar nonsense in the future but enough of this for now.
It's done.
Katey
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