Hey ladies,
I'm out in public for the second time in two days and it feels great! Nothing major, just walking through quiet neighborhoods... One person said hello to me which felt amazing! I wasn't wearing anything to attract attention to myself but I did wear a pair of knee boots with a small heel on them (for a bit) which made that wonderful "click, click" sound when you walk...oh my god! I was so nervous!!
A wise man once told me to "do what you fear most and you will control fear", the more you venture out the easier it will get. So get going!!!
I want to be this girl!
Hi Alison, congratulations.
Congrats...it will get easier for you each time you go out
Great Allison! My first times in public were in the wee hours of the morning. It takes boldness to venture out i day time. OOPSmaybe i just assumed it was day because thats when i read it. Lol.
Small steps at first is all part of the fun.
Congratulations Allison! Im so happy for you. You go girl!
Ellie May 😘
Yay! You go girl!
I've been out for drives a few times while dressed and gotten out to return a library book in the night slot but is was dark out and I didn't see anyone .I was scared and excited at the same time.
Absolutely fantastic! I've
done that before, even with a purse.
Butterflies going, heart pounding, adrenaline flowing flip flops popping and pink fog flowing...... ahhhhh hear the bells ringing!
Allison - Good for you! Go to the movies. Go for a drive. Enjoy yourself!
Alison, good for you. I am sure it felt exhilarating to be out in Fem. And I know you will want to do it more and more. I found a good place to start was to go park your car in the far reaches of a mall parking lot or a Walmart. Just practice walking around the parking lot towards the entrances and back (Like maybe you forgot something). You will pass a fair number of people who probably won't even notice you but if they glance up they really won't be analyzing you, just acknowledging your existence. They have their own agendas. Also, going out after sunset builds confidence. I also found going to a tollway overhead rest area was a good place to build confidence. I would walk around in close proximity to the main entrance with my cellphone held to my ear. It looked totally normal for a woman to be talking on her cellphone in that location and the cell gave me some cover to my face. Lots of people pass in and out with no other agenda than to accomplish their own goals be it using the rest room or grabbing somethin to eat. Nobody is out to clock a CD and ridicule them. As you build your confidence you will look more and more passable and eventually will want to stretch your exposure to malls and such. And based on your Avatar photo I think you would probably blend into most public settings quite nicely. So take it slow, enjoy the adrenaline rush, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, have FUN !
I always enjoyed going for long walks in quiet, safe neighborhoods after dark, but not too late as to stand out. I just enjoyed the sound of my heels on the pavement, and the breeze up under my short dress or skirt. Never had any problems.
Like MelanieAnne, I too like to be out at night. Mu usual evening walk is around an up-market housing estate which is very quiet at around 10 pm. Normally out for over an hour as it is a very large area.
As Melanie said hearing your heels clip clopping on the footpath is a most wonderful sound.
Cannot wait to get out there again. I also have never had any problems. Perhaps we have a`guardian angel` looking after us.
Julie.
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Another thing that I do when out is to carry a shopping bag not to big and not to small. I make sure that it is not too heavy, but just enough to make it look as though there is something in it. Something like a plastic bag just poking out of the top.
So with your bag on your shoulder and the bag in your hand, it looks as though you are just returning from visiting a friend or from a bit of shopping at the local shop. Even better if it is raining, then having an umbrella up (I find) is even better.
I am a passable 74 y/o.
Alison,
Good for you.
The click, click becomes less noticeable with time and new sensations will replace it.
Good luck with your outings.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Going out at night in a safe neighborhood is a good first step. In my case, I am not looking for any interaction with anyone. It is easier to pass at night, although my voice would give me away. So I just don't talk to anyone. And an occasional car going down the street isn't going to give anyone a good look at you. I've had a couple "Murphy" experiences where I arrived at a crosswalk, just as a car pulled up to the stop sign, and they just sat there, until I was forced to cross the street right in front of their headlights. I just looked straight ahead and kept walking, and they drove on. No big deal.
Funny you mention the crosswalk. I crossed two bust intersections today. Both times cars in all four directions waited for me to cross the street. It was very exciting. I also passed a construction site with about 4 men working outside. That made me nervous!
That's fantastic Alison, I'm so happy for you! I too have been getting more and more confident and have even been to the mall once.
You've done a great job Alison you'll be a pro at it in no time, but be safe at night.
Ive been only going out during early afternoon hours. After lunch, people around but not to busy. Ive gotta say, walking by most women is a breeze...the men make me nervous. I don't think the older guys pickup on much but when the younger ones see a pair or heels WATCH OUT!
Way to go Allison! I find women (particularly really attractive ones) are really cool (probably a pity thing 😂 ) but guys freak me out. I've had guys approach me a few times for conversation and given I have pretty low 'vocal confidence' I don't even try to pretend...and honestly, it's no big deal at all...either that or guys really DON'T listen (like, at ALL 😂 )
I have been out enfemm a couple times, both times with my daughter at my side, and was scared to death at first, but then it got easier after a bit. I'm still not comfortable with going out alone, although I have been out walking at 3 am.
"A wise man once told me to "do what you fear most and you will control fear", I am going to try this....
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