Here's my first question

[Saikotsu]

First off, if you look or act nervous, people will pick up on it. Walk in like you belong there. It's just clothing after all. If people give you hassle, just tell them a white lie like, "I lost a bet" or "I'm getting it for my girlfriend." Most people won't bother you though. Some might, and some might be aggressive about it, so be careful.

I actually did something extreme to conquer my fear (for the most part)
I had come from a counseling session at my local gender identity center, and I had gone there dressed. When I left, I dressed back as a guy, but for some reason, I decided to keep my forms. (i figured I could put my coat on over them). On my way home I decided I was going to go get some women's cargo pants. I was feeling extra brave after the session, so I figured I might as well go for it. So I stop by a target and sit there in the parking lot for about 45 minutes, working up the courage.

Sure, I could have put my coat on and walked right in, but I wanted to conquer my fear that day. I finally worked up the courage and walked in. It was close to closing, so very few people were shopping. I strode right into the womens department and picked out a pair of Capris(couldn't find cargo pants :\) and I tried them on in the dressing room. I then proceeded to check out and paid for them. When I got back to my car, I allowed myself to breathe. After that little stunt, going in and buying women's clothes while dressed as a man didn't seem like such a big deal.

In fact, I've gotten to the point where I can walk into a specialty bra store and pick out a bra for myself. I even had one fitted a while back...I need to find that bra.

Keep in mind, my little stunt was rather risky. But really, the best advice I can give you for facing your fear is just do it. It gets easier each time you do it. The first time is tough. But just take a deep breath, stay calm, and go for it. If it helps, do it at a store farther from home. Where no one knows you. After all, you'll probably never see those customers ever again and if you do, they probably won't remember you.

[sara.rafaela]

I actually did something extreme to conquer my fear (for the most part)

I did something similar, but not like you. I spent a couple of days out of town and had a chance to dress. When my last morning came, I did not want it to end. Before checking out of the hotel I put together a little outfit. Skinny pants, rust colored. Dark blue 3/4 sleeve sweater, and purple Mary Janes with a short block heel. Everything else was guy mode. I thought the look was kind of metro. I had to go take a drive to visit family so I could not really dress up. I walked right through the lobby of the hotel, to my car, packed up, then went to the deli to get a breakfast sandwich and coffee for the road. No one paid me any attention. When I got to my parent's home, I simply swapped the Mary Janes for my running shoes, and slipped my puffy men's jacket over the sweater and no one could tell the difference.

[Rachael Leigh]

Fear in this area is real and if you start slow like some say by going to Walmart using self checkout is a start. Then maybe go to the stores that don't monitor dressing rooms and try on things, you can always take male stuff in as cover.
It's hard to get past fear but trying on will help knowing sizes in your online buying too
Good luck to you
Leigh

[Tracii G]

Welcome Bruce,
We have all been there so we do understand how hard it can be.
The thing that pops out to me here is the fact you haven't totally accepted this is who you are so maybe you should work on that first.
Stores don't have a problem with you shopping in the womens section its you.
The stores don't care what you buy they really don't.

[JaimeCD]

Hi Bruce;
I can relate to clothes not fitting. I was buying them in the store and guessing whether they'd fit or not and then have to deal with returning almost everything. Last month, I guess I manned up and started trying things on, right now my shopping for clothes is limited to Walmart and Target (trying to loose weight and don't want to buy things that won't fit in a couple of months). Not sure about where you are at but in Northern VA it seems both Target and Walmart have all the dressing areas in the ladies section so it is a little less obvious. No one has said anything to me and when I am shopping I am just a husband buying clothes for his wife.

[I Am Paula]

Remember- you will always be the LEAST strange person in WalMart.

[gokatiegirl]

Remember- you will always be the LEAST strange person in WalMart.

How true is this! I buy panties there

I only buy my clothes from t-girl shops. Their dresses are tailored for a mans body and when clothes fit that nice.. you come across as genuine. In fact, I cannot find any clothes in regular shops that fit my body good enough to go out in. More money? Yes but worth every penny. However, you need to be slim to wear those types of dresses I'm 6-1 and 165 lbs. I'm not sure what success others would have with a different body type.

[Andrea2656]

If you have access to an outlet mall it is a good place to shop. The prices are okay and the selection is vast. Shopping at a GAP or Banana Republic outlet store is pretty easy since you can pick up a "male item" and take it with you into the coed dressing rooms along with any women's clothing you want to try on. I realize that many will scoff at this and simply say get over your reluctance and shop. However, it is not a bad way to start shopping for women's clothes. You will eventually build up enough confidence to shop anywhere. The other day I wanted a camisole and went into the Bali store and picked it out and tried it on. There was no "men's clothing" coverage option!

[Riley57]

Love the Walmart joke. As they say, it's funny because it's true

[Sarah-RT]

I remember my first few trips, the fear, the terror but it goes away in time, especially when you know what correct size you are since it makes shopping easier.

I think paying for it is easier because staff are so uninterested they don't bat an eye. It's the customers that get me panicked but you learn to phase that out.

Recently I went into the city to spend some Christmas money, the first shop I was nervous but by the 3rd one I was browsing the rails, checking out the materials because I was spending MY money on clothes for ME so everyone else could think what they like.

I bought a charm for a bracelet in a jewellery shop but they didn't have the one I went in for and when I asked I felt stumped because I didn't want to say "let me see what else you have" so I just said "I better send a text" as in I'll see what else the significant other wants ( who may not exist). Easily deflects paranoid suspicion

[Bruce64]

Thank you all for the responses, well I have been trying to buy some of the fem items when I shop my mens clothes, sometimes I just enjoyed going through the women section and obsessively looking and searching for somethings I like wearing like panties , bra, slips, pantyhose and lots of times I get the sizes right and mostly they dont fit, too tight, too loose, things like that. I am getting braver and going say Sears and buying lipstick and jewellery and I am wondering how far would I go . I love dressing up in the comfort of my own home at first then I took it to another level and would wear female underweat to work and going overseas and walking down the streets in Toronto, I guess no one would know what I am wearing underneath, recently I start wearing skirts and bras at home and feel like this is the best thing I have ever wear especially a bra, I would not take it off I slept in it, guess I would stop there for now... you know where I am going. I however am not gay and I am attracted only to women, this is a kinda mix feelings but I love to crossdress if that's what it is called.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Interesting

Welcome Bruce,
We have all been there so we do understand how hard it can be.
The thing that pops out to me here is the fact you haven't totally accepted this is who you are so maybe you should work on that first.
Stores don't have a problem with you shopping in the womens section its you.
The stores don't care what you buy they really don't.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

I have accepted that I wear womens undergarments, the things is I do not want others to know about it, I do not display my fashion and who would know what exactly i am wearing under my pants.

[Helen_Highwater]

Bruce,

Welcome, Hope you find what you're looking for.

My 2 pen'eth worth.

As a male it's very likely that your top half is a different size to your bottom half when it comes to femme sizes. Me, UK 18 top, 16 bottom. Hence I shop online and differentiate depending upon what it is I'm buying. My top tip is to pick one, possibly 2 online retailers that sell stuff that is suitable for your age, use their sizing guide to get at least in the ball park and buy a dress or blouse in whatever size to test the top fitting and ditto for the lower half with a skirt. While there will be some size differences most retailers tend to be fairly standard in their sizing. If something you ordered doesn't fit, send it back as most provide free returns. Alternatively order 2 or 3 of the same item in different sizes and send back the 2 that don't fit free. Once you find what your sizes are it should be the case that most items regardless of retailer will fit. Yep there will be exceptions to this but that's the same for GG's.

What you then have to appreciate is as a male your shape is different from that of a GG and this is never more evident than in skirts. What fits in the waist will usually hang like a sack over the hips. GG's have bigger hip to waist ratio which is why many of use use hip and bum padding to correctly fill out women's jeans and skirts. Check out the many posts regarding hip and bum padding.

So I would say, stop using a scatter gun approach, pick a retailer, (or 2), zero in on your general size and work from there. Also look for online retailers that have "Tall" options, if you're above 5'10". These will fit better, surprise, surprise!

Best of fortunes in your shopping.

Helen

[JaimeCD]

So true!

[Tracii G]

Wear whatever makes you happy.
The one comment you made about not being gay is where your fear of shopping in the womens section may come from.
Do you feel if you are seen in the womens section looking at clothes that other shoppers or store people will assume you are gay?
Over 90% of crossdressers are straight males and usually married with children.
Just because you enjoy wearing the clothes does not in anyway change your sexual preference and we understand that here.

[paulaprimo]

valentine's day is coming... always a good time to shop!!

[Helena J]

Once when i bought some female clothes in male mode the cashier called me ma'am out of habit felt good actually she qiekly corected her self and we both laughed - i was extremely nervous buying it all my haert was pounding really hard it was shaking my whole body with every beat felt like i was going to pass out - but when it was all over and done with i felt really proud of my self for doing it

[Bruce64]

I will be brave, going Sears in Promenade Mall this Saturday, usually I look around get a few items, put it in a basket and then put it back, this time I will cash it out, thanks for the encouragement.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Bruce, Welcome to our forum, When you are you are home.
what ever question you have it's 99.97% possible that one or more members will have an answer for you.

RE: Shopping, No one really cares don't act nervous and another thing that will help you is don't make eye contact
with other shoppers. ~~......

[Tracii G]

Have a great trip to the mall and have fun.

[Bruce64]

I will, thanks for advice

[Jenny22]

Hello, Bruce. in drab, just do it. Shop like everyone else does. You may get a few looking at you, but so what! Look back at them and smile. I always shop in drab, dresses, bras, panties, shoes and anything else feminine that I fancy. I often hold something up to really look at it, admire it, and have even asked women what they think, or does a panty match a bra sufficiently, color-wise. Really, its fun, and I have never had an embarassing moment in all my shopping years.
OX
Jenny 22

[Bruce64]

I did go to the Lingerie store I looked and looked, I did see a Bra that I would like to get , they didnt had the colour I'd like so I will go to another store Tomorrow, It's much easier than I thought it would be, without all you great ladies here I could not have done it, Thanks.

[flatlander_48]

B6:

Fear is an important tool in Human Life. When it works correctly, it can keep us from doing clearly stupid and injurious things. However, it can also act to limit us when we know that there is something that we must do, but we allow the Fear to paralyze us into inactivity.

So, what you did yesterday was to realize your Fears, but not pretend that they don't exist. Use that Fear to drive you to understand what the real nature of the situation is and figure out how to deal with it.

DeeAnn

[Claire Cook]

Like others have said, there is a real learning curve here. First for me was just getting up the nerve to buy female stuff, Then there is the issue of women's sizes that make little sense (I have a size 8 dress and a size 14, and they both fit!). My final solution: shop dressed with all the padding in place and try things on, just like other women do. (Even a $3 top at Good Will is money lost if it doesn't fit...) Added plus: some of the SA's now know me, and have suggestions about what will work.

It's a bit daunting at first, but at the end the ride is worth it!

[Bruce64]

I took the big plunge and got a few items, was much earier than I thought, thanks to all the Girls here, guess I would have to go get that bra fitting and a make up next.