Here's my first question

[jjjjohanne]

My first purchase, pantyhose with a small basket full of unwanted groceries.
My first try on: I had asked a saleslady in the store about some specific women's clothes. Then I asked, do you allow men to try them on? She said, "Oh, yes, come on." She set me up with a room and she and another SA brought me other things to try on.
I have shopped in Walmart as a man and taken clothes into the dressing room. These days, their security is better. The clerk will ask to see what you are taking in. Also, Walmart and many other stores have cameras behind the mirrors in the dressing rooms.
Thrift stores have unattended dressing rooms. But, the clothes are cast off items. I no longer find anything that I want there.
Clothing shops like Cato and Dressbarn are pricey, but they have nicer clothes. The clerks are normally trained and very understanding. They will bring other outfits to the dressing room.
Big department stores train their employees about crossdressers, I think.
Consignment shops are good. Those are clothes that are good enough for the owner to try to get something for them.

My best experience has been to buy something that I like and then pay to have it modified to fit MY body. But, then you have to out yourself to a seamstress...

One particularly fun memory: In a consignment shop, I was holding a dress that I wanted to try on. Someone was in the only dressing room. I was browsing the racks. The owner, a stranger to me, walked past me and whispered to me as she passed, "You can try that on if you would like."

[Nine]

When I was searching a dress to offer to my wife, I had no fear.
The first time I did it for me, fear is come...
Now I just think that I want to give me pleasure...and I like shopping so much...
My great regret...I am not able to go to dressing area for woman...

[Bruce64]

One observation I made today is Women clothes are way more expensive than Men, makes me wonder.

[CallmeAlice]

Lucky for me I have an accepting girlfriend who will buy clothes for me, go to the mall pick something out and she'll buy it. But I know many others dont have this luxury, I've gotten away with the excuse "I'm getting this for my girlfriend/ wife for her birthday (or Christmas)." Every time no one said anything other than, she'll like this or this is pretty.

[Bruce64]

I did called a Store Today to get some info on a Bra I would like to purchase, they invited me for a Bra Fitting, my knees are knocking.

[Alice_2014_B]

As many have said already, stores want your money.
I've taken dresses and skirts into dressing rooms, but they're tucked under men's trousers that I never intend to try on.
Sometimes I also make sure I have my wedding ring on when I purchase high heels, dresses, and skirts.

[sometimes_miss]

Not sure how I missed this thread the first time around; probably because I don't buy at stores much, because they simply don't have anything I would like, that's available in my size. But that's not why I'm posting.

If you do order on the web, or mail order, there are certain companies that, if there's a delay in shipping or something is out of stock, will send you a POST CARD telling you
DEAR BRUCE, YOU'RE:

SIZE 8 PANTIES

ARE CURRENTLY BACKORDERED AND WILL BE SHIPPED AS OF FEBRUARY 25TH. IF THIS IS OK WITH YOU AND YOU STILL WANT YOUR:

SIZE 8 PANTIES

PLEASE CALL 800 123 4567 TO CONFIRM OR CANCEL.

Of course, this post card is readable by anyone, and does not come in an envelope of any kind.

So essentially you may be automatically outed to the mailman and anyone who might accidently get your mail by mistake. The companies that have done this to me are 1. Hanes, 2. Hanes subsidiary 'Just My Size', 3. National Slip, aka 'shopnational.com'.

This is why I have a mail box at the local UPS store. No accidental mail errors or deliveries of fem things dropped off to my neighbors.

[Dakota1981]

Welcome Bruce. When you go to a store like Walmart for example, in my experience almost no one cares what you're buying. If it's female clothes, the cashiers normally think that there is a woman in your life that you're buying for. Really the worry is all in our head cause it's a foreign concept. People in big stores are normally too busy worried about what they are doing to focus on someone else unless they look creepy and may cause a problem.

The confidence will come given a couple tries. It did for me. I noticed quickly that very few people if any cared what I was doing while shopping.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've done the thrift store thing, but there are two disadvantages for a newby shopper.

1. It takes a lot of looking to find something you like in your size. Sorting thru racks takes time, and fear builds up the more time it takes.
2. You'll probably have o wait in line for a dressing room, with girl clothes in your hands. Again, fear builds as time goes on.

I've shopped a lot of places en homme and en femme, alone and with friends.

Go to a Dress Barn. Not only are they trained to serve, but, IMHO, they're alo rained to serve men.

I've been in many different Dress Barns in both modes and have always been treated well.

Ask for help, admit it's for you, ask to try it on, be confident (or at least not creepy) and it will all work out fine.

[mechamoose]

Maybe this will help?

Conversion chart

The SAs won't care. It is just another SKU to run through the register. Don't expect judgement. It won't happen.

- MM

[SharonDenise]

I've gotten to the point where I can shop at my local Dress Barn with only being slightly nervous. I shop en drab but ask the SA's if I can try their merchandise on. The SA's are happy to accommodate me. My 70th birthday is coming up soon. I'm toying with the idea of going to a major department store like Macy's or Nordstrom's and using their personal shopper service. I would also use their make-over service. At 70, how many more birthdays do i have left?

[shawnsheila]

Melissa is right,
We have all been there (scary,exciting nervousness... we think everyone is watching us) Start cheap at a thrift store and Payless shoes has some great shoes AND is very CD friendly.

Most of the stores I have been too (Target, Marshals, TJ Maxx, etc) either almost no one cares or, more than likely, they will be very helpful. I have had one occasion where I was buying lingerie and a teen clerk at Khols made a face and made an uncomfortable giggle about it but other that it being kinda rude, it didn't really bother me that much. After many shopping trips I just by what I want to by and it is no big deal now

[flatlander_48]

1. It takes a lot of looking to find something you like in your size. Sorting thru racks takes time, and fear builds up the more time it takes.

The Goodwill and Salvation Army stores that I've been in group items by color. Size is irrelevant to them. Once I found out that this seems to be the only way that they work, I avoid them. And I agree; that is time consuming. Therefore, I shop at SAVERS as they do group by size and item type. In that sense, it's no more taxing than shopping in a regular store. I've shopped at SAVERS in Rochester NY, Toledo OH, Las Cruces NM and Phoenix AZ. They are all laid out in essentially the same way.

Store Listing: http://assets.savers.com/images/Save...ons_111515.pdf

Actually, for me, the anxiety works in reverse. The longer I stay, the more relaxed I become.

2. You'll probably have o wait in line for a dressing room, with girl clothes in your hands. Again, fear builds as time goes on.

That's more a function of timing and can also happen at department stores during really attractive sales.

[renae.lake]

I' too, am a very nervous shopper. I'm not so worried about the SAs as much as the other customers, which I haven't seen mentioned in this thread. When I do work up the nerve to shop (always in guy mode, usually with the help of some Ativan), I avoid any area in the store where anyone else is, which sometimes has me circling a location until the other person moves on, or leaving the aisle I'm in as soon as someone else approaches. For budgetary reasons (and because I'm even more intimidated by a real clothing store), I stick to thrift stores (Savers!) for clothes. Even though I don't have a problem taking a bunch of women's clothes into the dressing room, I always feel rushed to buy the first thing that kind of fits, often ending up with garments that don't really fit once I get them home, or have stains, tears, etc. (And I'll be damned if I can figure out the mystery that is women's clothing sizes.) Cosmetics are a similar story; I'm way too self-conscious to spend the kind of time in the aisle I really need to in order to figure out WTH is going on and get what I actually want. I've given up on shopping for lingerie in stores; that's all through Amazon (which has a generous return policy with free returns if you are a Prime member).

I'm not really sure what to do. I know it doesn't ultimately matter what a stranger thinks of me (as long as they keep it to themselves), but I am an incredibly shy person to begin with, so I'm overly sensitive to any perceived rejection. I can't afford to just buy everything online - even if I could, I'd still prefer to see the thing IRL before I bought it. I'd love to shop in an actual women's clothing store or department store, but that seems waaaay overwhelming. I don't have any GG friends who could be shopping buddies (that would help a lot I think). I wonder if it might be easier to shop en femme, but I don't think I am passable enough yet. I am hoping this gets easier over time (so far it hasn't). I'm open to any suggestions!

Cheers,

~ Summer

[BettyMorgan]

I will echo the ladies who've mentioned stores like Value Village and Goodwill. I've had good luck with the outlets in Canada. I've even purchased several items with the original tags still attached so they've never been worn. One was a velvet and chiffon evening dress with the original tag price of $210 and I got it for $16. And they don't care if you are browsing the dress aisle - just be relaxed and you will be fine. I usually throw the dresses over my arm and walk into a change room. They often don't have enough staff to guard the change rooms. I used to get so scared about being in the ladies section but I've overcome that. No one cares and if they do they won't ever say so.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

I' too, am a very nervous shopper. I'm not so worried about the SAs as much as the other customers, which I haven't seen mentioned in this thread. When I do work up the nerve to shop (always in guy mode, usually with the help of some Ativan), I avoid any area in the store where anyone else is, which sometimes has me circling a location until the other person moves on, or leaving the aisle I'm in as soon as someone else approaches. For budgetary reasons (and because I'm even more intimidated by a real clothing store),

I was exactly like you. If a female entered the dress aisle, I would turn tail and scurry away to the men's suits and wait until she left so I could go back. Now I won't budge if a woman is browsing next to me. And I'm at the point where in my mind I'm saying, "Don't you dare take a dress I might be interested in." Lol Using the force as best I can.

I stick to thrift stores (Savers!) for clothes. Even though I don't have a problem taking a bunch of women's clothes into the dressing room, I always feel rushed to buy the first thing that kind of fits, often ending up with garments that don't really fit once I get them home, or have stains, tears, etc. (And I'll be damned if I can figure out the mystery that is women's clothing sizes.)

Been there too. I've learned to only buy if it looks really good. I take my time - sometimes I'll take off an item and try it on again just to be sure. I will go over the piece careful, looking for any tears, pulls or stains. Don't forget to check that all the buttons are there and the zippers work. I'm not a seamstress so I can't repair or alter clothes. Don't be in a rush and don't settle.

I'm not really sure what to do. I know it doesn't ultimately matter what a stranger thinks of me (as long as they keep it to themselves), but I am an incredibly shy person to begin with, so I'm overly sensitive to any perceived rejection. I can't afford to just buy everything online - even if I could, I'd still prefer to see the thing IRL before I bought it. I'd love to shop in an actual women's clothing store or department store, but that seems waaaay overwhelming. I don't have any GG friends who could be shopping buddies (that would help a lot I think). I wonder if it might be easier to shop en femme, but I don't think I am passable enough yet. I am hoping this gets easier over time (so far it hasn't). I'm open to any suggestions!

Cheers,

~ Summer

It's in your head, like everything else. I have worried so much about what you wrote in the last part of your quote and now know that it's my perceptions that are the issue not the SA or other customers. I'm building confidence and may have to go to a different city to shop en femme. It will be nerve wracking at first but it's a goal I'm and going for.

Up close, I'm not sure if many part time cross dressers are really passable. It's more your attitude that counts. So when you feel like going for it, not caring so much about everyone else, you will know it's your time. Good luck.

[JeanTG]

I've had the same nervousness. Recently I decided to grab the bull by the horns. I e-mailed the customer service dept. of a plus-sized women's clothing chain that had nearby stores. I explained the situation, that I was a CD but would shop in male mode (don't have the necessary skills or confidence to go public), and were they OK with customers like myself visiting their store and shopping for myself? To my surprise they responded and said that they had no problems, that they treat all customers with respect, and it would be a pleasure to schedule a fitting for me at a store of my choice. So I chose one close enough to make it easy to get to but far enough to reduce chances of recognition, went in first thing in the AM when it opened, and was greeted with open arms. The SA made me feel totally at ease, and the result of the experience was a bra that fits (finally!), two dresses, two tops, and some shoes. Turned out to be an awesome experience, and now that the ice is broken I won't have any problems going back when my play budget refills again.

So I don't think it's a bad idea to call ahead and ask if only to put yourself at ease. Most likely you'll get a positive response. Last time I checked our money was just as good as anyone's, and the retail sector is competitive and always trying to scratch out more profits and market share. The SA (manager of the outlet actually) told me she had several male customers and would I please pass the word along in the community that all were welcome to shop there and she would make it her pleasure to serve us.

She truly had great taste in figuring out what would look good on me. It's really worth it to have a trained eye help you out.

[Tina81]

Hi Bruce,
Lots of good advice here. From my own experience, I started shopping around the XMAS holidays and Valentine, saying there were gifts from my wife and asked for a gift receipt. I used the generic sizing guide found on clothing websites to get an estimate of my size. I'm a 12P. For shoes, I started shopping at Payless and tried the shoes on when no one else was in the aisle. I dreaded going to check out because I figured I wasn't fooling anyone, but to this day I've never had a negative experience from Payless. Just recently, it took me 30 mins to get the courage to walk into a Naturalizer shoe store at a local outlet. No one was in the store except the clerk. I walked in and she said, "Can I help you?" and I said "just looking for now". We I found some 10W ankle boots and tried them on. She had gone about her business of stocking some shoes and never watched me try the shoes on. It had to be obvious that I was trying the shoes on. I always picked a pair of 3" MaryJanes because the 4" pumps have been killing my feet when I wear more than a couple of hours. And, when I checked out, she mentioned to me that the purses where 50% off! I was thinking to myself, "Say What?!"

I don't go out publicly. My goal is to get a wig and learn how to apply make up and then go to Dress Barn. I figure I can go quickly from the parking lot directly into the store.

I'm not sure if it gets easier for me. When I do stall and can't get the courage to go into a women's specialty store, like Talbot's and New York and Co. I think of all the courageous women here and remember hearing about their experiences. They give me the confidence to stay "life is short and don't have regrets" to myself. I also just purchased yesterday 2 women's jean, a blazer (I had to get a 16P) to fit and a 38DD bra. I first took the jeans over to the men's dressing room. For the blazer, I just took off my coat and tried on the blazer. I thought for sure I was a size 12P for the blazer. I have several bra so I wanted a nice red bra for Valentine's to wear with my forms I bought on Amazon. My wife says they feel so real. They cost less than $50.

Anyway, it's feel great wearing a skirt, blouse with pantyhose and heels. I especially love the feeling of my breast forms being held in my bra.

So start of slow and use the excuse it's for my wife or girlfriend and ask for a gift receipt. I once asked a clerk to unlock a dressing room in New York and Co. store. She didn't bat an eye and opened one of the several dressing rooms in the back of the store. It was amazing and thrilling to try on dresses, skirts and tops.
Happy Shopping...keep us posted.
Tina

[Tracii G]

Tina's purse comment is a good one.
I have had that happen plenty of times and it just goes to show the SA's and cashiers don't care what you buy.

[jacques]

some hints -
know your size
if not sure buy a size bigger not a size smaller
buy in the sales until you are sure that you are right about the sizing
shop early in the morning to avoid having to queue to pay for your clothes
remember that your money is as good as anyone else's

luv J

[renae.lake]

@Betty,
Thank you for the encouraging words. It gives me hope to hear that someone 'used to' be like me in this regard. How long did it take you to get there?

As far as it all being in my head, I'm not sure if that's entirely true - people do give me strange looks, but I take your point that how I respond to it is up to me. I guess I just need to keep at it.

@Jean,
That is a very unexpected story and sounds like a wonderful experience. I'm not sure I could work up the nerve to call a store and ask that question, but it sounds like the results were well worth it.


Cheers,

~ Summer

[Shorebird]

A ploy I used, whilst still in the closet about my dressing, to get over the fear of going up to the checkout and paying for some nice Bras and knickers, I had only done on-line up to this point, was to treat my wife to some new things for her birthday.

We went shopping in Next on a busy Friday evening and I let my wife choose what she wanted. 2 bra's 4 pairs on knickers and a skirt, I then told her that as it was my treat I needed to buy them. So I sent her off to the coffee shop and I joined the queue of other women and waited my turn.

When my turn came and I handed the items to the SA she asked if I had found everything I needed to which I said yes thanks. She then asked me if I needed a gift receipt in case they needed returning, I answered no thanks everything fits fine. There was a slight hesitation before she smiled, said that's good, took my money and wished me a good evening.

I admit it was a bit of a nerve racking experience but it felt good as I left the store.

Two weeks later whilst working away from home I repeated the exercise, but this time without the wife and buying for myself, I chose a nice bra and a couple of pairs of satin knickers and went through the checkout line with out any embarrassment or nerves and felt really proud of myself.

Since then I have shopped for skirts and tops with no problem but have not gotten up the nerve to try things on in store just yet.

[Mandy Faye]

I agree , Summer ! I have no problem taking my time shopping ( I spend a lot of time in the makeup section ) , Not really caring about store workers .. BUT ... Am a nervous wreck about someone I know coming by and seeing what's in my cart .. I think of a hundred excuses of why I am buying all this stuff ! Having said that , I kind of get off on the thrill of it all ! HEHE I count heavily on Amazon clothes and heels ... If I can find it in an 11(heels) ... Which alot stop at 10. The things a girl has to deal with, Right ! Kisses

[Mayo]

I've bought mostly online with a few exceptions. I still have trouble coming to terms with the fear and shame and haven't yet managed to make it into a bigger store.