No way !

[Donna Indelco]

Here's the situation, let's go way back 40 years and I'm 18. I'm just starting to become aware of my feminine side, at least consciously and an interest in makeup, bra's, etc. Being athletic in high school and having a girl friend I assumed this was just a phase and would pass. Well, it didn't. Today I am an out of closest cd and wouldn't want it any other way. I dealt with my demons a long time ago and totally except and embrace who I am today. There's the background, now to the point. Let's say that at 18 you were able to see yourself in 40 years. Personally, at that point in my life, I would be devastated! Something must be wrong, that can't be me, NO WAY. Ok, it's a bit out there but so am I. How would you feel about what you saw?

[Anne K]

At 18, I kept my eyes closed. 45 years later, I'm more relaxed and comfortable.

[Kate Simmons]

Relieved probably. Always had feelings of wanting to be a pretty girl.

[ChristinaK]

Wow! When I was in my tween's, I fantasized about being totally transsexual, living in SF and having a girl friend that was happy with my crossdressing, so I would probably have been proud. I used to dress up with my sisters or Mothers clothes whenever I could. When I was in my teens, well, I had buried my feminine side and that continued until I was married in the 80's.

Since my crossdressing has been a life long experience, when I was younger and experimenting, I would have accepted the me that I am now, except with a willing partner. The fantasy I experienced as a tween would have been so cool...

Life is like a box of chocolates, it's all sticky and gooey!

[nikkiwindsor]

Hi Girls,

I use to simply think of me as a crossdresser. But over time I realize I'm far more complicated than simply someone enjoying wearing clothes of the "opposite" gender. I think a more accurate term to describe my self-mindedness is 'gender fluid.' In my mind, I'm clearly both feminine and masculine. I think I'd be very surprised at 18 years to learn that I was female and male intertwined together. Does that make sense to others? Nikki

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Oh my Kate...you wanted to be a pretty girl. You are a pretty girl! Nikki

[Jane G]

Interesting thread. I think I am more excepting of my male side and physique now than when I was in my teens. I had desperately wanted to wake up one morning as a girl, since aged 6 or 7. It never happened. My farther actively discouraged my feminine tendecies and cross dressing. So at 19 I joined the Navy to get t hell out of there. Only problem being despite satirical reputation the Royal Navy was even worse back in the 80s so I hid away for 9 years got married and had two great kids.

Problem then was I had created responsibilities. I had never told my wife, she just came home from college one evening and caught me. We had some 80s style patronising councilling and talked it through our selves and decided we make a great team.

That was twenty plus years ago and after that I was far more free to dress at home and so I excepted my position in the scheme of things and have been a fairly content closset CD ever since. I do still wonder what might have been if...... But I"m finaly happy here as a male cd so it's not vital to find out.

[Diversity]

At 18, I would not have believed it to be possible, especially since it was so against societal norms, and I too, thought I'd grow out of this phase. I sit here today, retired, and find I am doing it more and more, and loving it more and more as well.
Di

[paintmepink]

I don't know what will happen in 40 years or 20, but i don't want this cd'ing phase to last too long. I plan on working-becoming a working man-but the canadian economy is tanking. No job, just alot of running. No girls in my life, and im desparate for feeling, cuddling, kissing; and cd'ing seems like the easiest way to feel close to a girl.

[CallmeAlice]

5-6 years ago I couldn't imagine myself looking the way I would when I cross, or who I am for that matter.

[Allison_CD]

At 18 was a Merchant Seaman, deck, and was a rough tough man, having not long lost my virginity in Japan.
Little did I know that man would fly to the Moon (allegedly),
Gay men would get Married !!! and I would love wearing frocks !!
Whatever next ??????

EDIT: IN those far off days Russia was going to wipe us Cross Dressers off the planet....

[heatherdress]

I would not believe that would be me, but I would be really excited about my self development. and probably would have started to crossdress sooner.

[Robin414]

Wow, if I saw myself now when I was 18...I'd think...dude, kinda half way there...sorta! 😲

[docrobbysherry]

"What if", games r always interesting to contemplate. But, accomplish nothing unless u get a do over.

I never had any idea who or what I would be. I was more interested in living my life for the present and immediate future.

The only thing I wanted to avoid at all costs was being old and poor!

As far as imagining being a CD late in life? I wasn't even aware there were such things until I was in my 40's!

[Madilyn A.]

From the time I was about 4, I wanted to be a girl. By the time I was 18, I thought that when I was married I would give up my dressing and desire to be a girl. Having been married for 43 years, still dressing whenever possible and still wanting to be a girl.