That nails it for me actually.Originally Posted by pamela7
An true alpha is comfortable with anything.. confident and perhaps on the edge of arrogance, but they will generally feel secure and easy around anyone. Sure they can dish out sharp comments, but they'll likely do it around you, and just as easy take one in return, almost like flirting (but without the content of taking it anywhere.)
Wow, lots of great comments. I will say this in the people I work withs defense, they weren't being hatful or bigoted, I would have said something. They were more just "hey, check this out. " Also, yesterday I was having a hard time getting into guy mode for work, so it may have hit me in a sore spot.
My personal thoughts are that if they are talking about me, some other person is catching a short break since they are not being discussed.
People can be mean as snakes and not even realize what they are doing, as many people are just followers that want to jump on and bandwagon of the discussion if you will,and if it turns hateful they just add fuel to the fire it seems.
I will leave the room if I cannot shut down these people saying bigoted / hateful things, but usually I can get the water on the fire ......but in cases where the conversation happens after I leave there is nothing I can do .......
I have new shirt that say's "I Literally Do Not Care" and I wear it with pride, but truth is though I have feelings too, just cannot wear them on your shoulders
Last edited by Lauri K; 01-17-2016 at 03:12 PM. Reason: shitty typing
That is why I present myself with as much "class" as I can when I'm out, if they talk about me let it be good. I also work in a very 'Alpha" male environment and have been questioned about my appearance, being of short and slim stature, shaved arms, clear polished nails, long hair, pierced ears, and all behind my back, but in the long run after doing my job, mostly better than the "gossips", they are dismissed and some times I even gain their respect, so let them talk, the cream always comes to the top.
"you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.
My wife and I were at a local sports bar last week. A group of 5 people came in . All I noticed was a group with 3 females and 2 males. The bar tender was talking to another couple at another table and they were laughing and making jokes. I asked my wife what they were laughing about, she said one of the people in that group was a he/she. By then the bar tender and my wife were laughing and making jokes . I asked my wife Is he hurting anyone? Is he causing any trouble ? The answer was no to both questions . I only seen him from the back but I never would have known if they hadn't been making jokes and laughing.
One of the places where I work is a University where there is the requisite LGBTQ Center and several out and proud gay and lesbian people on staff. So you'd think that at least generally speaking that the staff would be sensitive to the issue, but nope, I've heard he/she, shim, it and other rude comments with some of the most vociferous being from folks who are gay. Anytime that I hear it, I always mention politely that it takes quite a bit of courage to be the person that you want to be especially when most people don't understand it as well as how does what they wear affect you? I think my comments have shocked a few people, because I'm not known as a very liberal person.
Warmest regards,
Pamela
There are a lot of nasty people out there, but some of it is pure ignorance in the true sense of the word. They just have never encountered many people who fall outside the norms of society and they are therefore trapped in their narrow mindedness.
But, if a tree falls in the forrest...
Basically, if you were the one dressed and you didn't hear it, it didn't happen. Anything further is just speculation.
DeeAnn
Carrie
Believe me. These are not alpha males. They are troglodytes who may (but in all probability, do not) believe themselves to be alphas. The capacity of humans to delude themselves is really quite extraordinary.
Julia xx
I used to work in support of law enforcement and the officers were well trained in diversity issues. In the field they were almost always respectful of everyone, LGBTQ, race, religion etc. But back in the station they were much less so. I never confronted them on this directly, but should have found a way. Circumstances were different for me back then, as was society in general, but I am more willing to take advantage of "educational" opportunities now. I doubt this type of behavior will ever totally disappear, but in time maybe it will be more widely recognized as inappropriate by more and more people.
S C:
That brings up a good point. Equality-related statutes are all about behavior and this is completely independent of what people may, or may not, think or believe. However, the danger is that when there is no alignment between behavior and beliefs, the beliefs can overpower the behaviors under certain circumstances.
DeeAnn
Oh yes,
People definitely talk. People today seem to think that they can do no wrong and are perfect. Well I am the first one to say that I am not perfect, far from it. And if wearing wearing women's clothing is such a huge crime, then I guess that I am guilty. With all of this Facebook and Twitter these days, people get really hateful and that is too bad.
Hugs,
Bree
Brandy Mathews
Do you have her email address? I'm sure we would get along grandly.
I don't try to pass, I can't pass. I still want to be pretty. She sounds like my kind of person!
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
I work at the corporate HQ of a multi-billion dollar firm that is transphobic and homophobic from the CEO on down. Some of the senior execs who are women are just as biased and rude. When the news on Caitlyn Jenner broke, the filth that overflowed from their mouths was unbelievable. Cracks about gay people are similarly routine even though a few of our senior people are gay. Just reminds me of the importance of keeping friends close, and enemies closer.
WARNING:Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies, projects, or any other purpose - YOU DO NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION To Use Any Of My Profile Or Pictures In Any Form Or Forum Both Current And Future.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jaytojillian/
J:
I take it that they would not score very well on Corporate Equality Index that is done every year by the Human Rights Campaign?
Nice photo, by the way...
DeeAnn
Trans-phobia and homo-phobia are not anything like the same thing. It is just an easy box to check off for *-phobes.
We are, after all, the reason that society is failing, right? That is what the TeeVee tells me.
Should I not believe the TeeVee?
/snark
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
This is a good topic. I think either due to location, or dealing with helpful SA's, or generally being in tg friendly places, we may become a little too comfortable with our perceived acceptance.
Not that there hasn't been good progress made overall, but I have witnessed plenty of not so friendly attitudes to say the least when it comes to us.
On the occasions I have seen sisters out dressed, there is still those who will at the least have a very dissaproving look. Giggles, comments of disgust, name calling does happen.
We still hear frequently of brutality against those who are trans. MOST of the time, in MOST places, little will go wrong. We still need to be mindful of our surroundings.
Yes and no.
The construct is the same. In both cases, someone is discounted for an innate quality over which they have no control. The difference is the specific issue. All -ism's are exactly the same way regardless of whether the person being discounted is female, or of a different religion, nationality, race, age, etc. SSDD.
DeeAnn
I think there are probably a good majority of people who if they have a phobia of gay or trans, they likely consider it one in the same.
In part, that's the root of the question when crossdressers or transgender people come out: "Are you gay?".
DeeAnn
It is due to the portrayal and in earlier days, those that were out (Rupaul for example ) were gay. I happened to be channel surfing, Erasure was on an old Arnold movie. Sure enough, there was a gay club scene, and about 50% of those in the club were drag. Do we know the difference? Sure. But what about the non informed public? It only makes sense that the only time they have ever witnessed a mtf cd they were gay. Why would they ever think otherwise....
Yes, but I think it goes beyond that. Remember the binary construct: 2 genders, 2 sexualities. A given gender has a particular sexuality associated with it. Without further or more specific information, if you're doing something that doesn't match, you must be gay because there is no other explanation (in their minds).
DeeAnn
Well I think too... women who are probably attracted to men and then having us dress and act like them are probably going to assume since we like x and y, we are gonna like z too. Most men are likely to just lump it all into gay guys are fem, guys who dress are even more fem, so that just makes us level 10 gay.
th
This is exactly how I feel so well said Marcelle. I know most times I'm out I'm read but I try not to worry about it.
Most of the time my interaction has been positive so I just put it out of my head
Honestly this thread is a bit of a surprise to me.... of course people talk. People talk all the time, about everybody. Especially when it is about something that is a bit out of the ordinary. I make the assumption that everyone I encounter is going to talk with somebody about the experience. It actually helps me to relax and be myself. I try and make it so that the conversation will hopefully go something along these lines:
"Hey did you see that cross dresser?"
"Yeah."
"Can you believe that anyone would ever do that?"
"No, that is crazy."
"But they did have on a nice outfit."
"Yeah and they were really nice and friendly."
At least that is what I like to picture. Even if it doesn't, why would I care?
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