stress and dressing for stress releif

[Lena]

Yesterday was a really stressful day. Since mid December, there were lots of rumors already flying around and we knew a layoff was coming (you can't sell a lot of oil equipment when oil is $29 a barrel). I didn't want to go into work on Friday, but in preperation for a rough day, I underdressed in stockings, comfortable panties and a tank top. I figured if I was going to get laid off, I was going to be prepared to take the bad news in comfy clothing (yeah, I know it's weird but I did say it's a stressful day and the weeks leading up to it weren't great either)

Our building got hit really hard. There were a lot of good people who had their lives turned upside down through no fault of their own. (*shaking fist at the sky* - damn you corporate america.) But the only thing I wanted to do when I go home after surviving the cut was to take off my engineering clothes to slip into something more comfortable before reflecting on the way my life had just changed. As odd as it may seem, spending the evening in a nighty and curling up with my dog on the couch was a good relief. The wine didn't hurt either.

I was lucky and survived the cut, but several of my friends are out looking for jobs now. When it comes to corporate downsizing, there are no winners. I kind of wish I was laid off instead. I feel guilty that I survived and they didn't.

But, in relationship to this forum, I also kind of find it sad that clothes are all it takes to make me feel better.

[LisaSae]

I'm sorry I've also "survived" a corporate lay off D:

[TaraGrace]

hiya Lena,

you're seriously under rating the dog part.. that's soul comfort (so it's not just clothes )

That said, don't be sad at all.. every human needs comfort at some point,
it's what makes us find the energy in rough times to go on.

For some it's the church, for some it's smoking (seriously, my doctor told me this), for some it's a good glass of alcohol, and for some it's a trip through photo albums in seak of some nostalgia, and for some it's role playing.

As far as role playing goes - many links to crossdressing, but role playing comes in many forms.. escaping reality can often give a huge moral boost, for many people sports are a similar escape and tension reliever.

I could go on and on for hours on this topic, but to sum it up : be happy you have something that gives you comfort, not sad.. it's yours and nothing less then good!

x Tara

[CourtneyJamieson]

Lena, I can totally relate to your desire to CD when under excessive stress. I have analyzed my own life and have correlated extra stress with my desire to CD. I have a high-stress profession as well (Health Care) and at times the stresses can seem overwhelming. Not like you, where you were facing a potential layoff, but still quite stressful. And I have found that my urges to CD increase significantly when these stresses arise. It allows me to change into another person in another life and leave my problems behind for a few hours while I am dressed. And don't feel guilty about being one of the fortunate ones who was allowed to keep their jobs while some of your colleagues were let go. You were kept on, I am sure, because you are a skilled engineer which the "Corporation" felt was essential to their future. You should be proud of the fact that you were deemed worth keeping. I understand having sympathy for your friends who maybe lost their jobs but don't feel guilty. Hang tough.

[Julia1984]

Hi Lena
That sounds quite a bit like "survivor guilt". Try not to feel bad, but do try to help your now ex colleagues. Doing something positive and constructive will help.

Hugs
Julia

[Annajose]

Hi, I do the same, underdressing during the week and dressing over the weekend! So far I have survived but the new drop in the oil price is threatening my job again! Is a rough time for us oil-girls! But remember, if you lose your job you will find another, is not so easy if you lose your health!

[NicoleScott]

Only crossdressers crossdress for stress relief, which tells me that it's something else that drives the crossdressing. Non-crossdressers do other things for stress relief (drink, kick the dog......). Stress relief may be a by-product of crossdressing for some, but not the primary driver.

p.s. I would never kick a dog. But a cat........

[Kiersten]

Lena
I've been going through a similar situation at my company also, I've been fortunate to make the cut so far(knock on wood) seen a lot of good people(some of them good friends) lose there jobs.
I experience the same guilt for surviving the layoffs while others didn't, it's been really hard to watch.
I admit I've used my cross dressing as an avenue to escape the stress of it when it happens.(selfish on my part)

[Anne K]

Lena, I understand the survivor's guilt. Still, we have to survive some how and if crossdressing does the trick, why not? As NicloeScott points out everybody has there own way of dealing with stress. During the 80's and 90's, I was under insane stress, but did not have the CD option. Looking back, I wish I did. So, take care of yourself, enjoy your nighty, and don't "kick the cat".

[MargaretJ]

I'm kind of the opposite. I really enjoy CD'ing, and it makes me feel great, but on quite a few occasions I haven't done my normal CD nights, as I have been a bit stressed out and don't want it being associated with CDing. I used to be able to get 3 or 4 nights in a week to CD, but now due to shifts at work, I'm lucky if I get 2 nights a week and have even had a few spells recently of no CD'ing for a couple of weeks.

[Sharon B.]

I also find it is a good stress relief, yes I know we are a strange bunch but I would be rather dressed as a woman sipping her wine then out at a bar drinking the hard stuff trying to forget that I would rather like being dressed as a woman or drinking to try to forget something else that was stressing me out.

[paintmepink]

I find cd'ing helps me deal with loneliness.

[Stephanie47]

Only crossdressers crossdress for stress relief, which tells me that it's something else that drives the crossdressing. Non-crossdressers do other things for stress relief (drink, kick the dog......). Stress relief may be a by-product of crossdressing for some, but not the primary driver.

I think Nicole's comment goes to the root of cross dressing. I am totally content being a male. I have no angst associated with my maleness. I feel comfortable in a tee shirt, jeans and casual shoes. Even better if I do not shave for several days. But, then it hits. There's the urge or need to transform into a woman. Of course, the best I can do is appear as a woman attired in a dress and heels. As a retiree I do many of the domestic chores while my wife is at work. I do them in either mode.

Yes, when stress enters the picture, either health related stress or personal relationship stresses, there is a compulsion to escape my maleness and seek comfort in clothing. I've often equated my escapism to other who drink, use drugs or kick the cat. There is also another element in my personal story. Certain experiences in Nam need to be quelled or put back in its place in my mind, and, that is helped with being that "inner woman." I have a lot of friends who experienced the same traumas and they hid in a bottle or used drugs or destroyed personal relationships before they got a handle on their problems. Me? That inner woman brought and still brings comfort in buying heels and dresses. She is part of who I am.

I know I threw this out for consideration a while ago. It was a comment my wife made about Caitlyn Jenner. My wife feels there are people who have lived a past life and there is an influence of that past experience on the current life. Is it something that happened in the womb? Is it in the DNA for everyone and it is downplayed by societal norms? I just wonder. I did not have any female cousins. I did not have any sisters. My mother did not dress me up. Nor an aunt. I played like a rough and tumble boy. But, when the hormones of a boy started to kick in...well, then the interest in wearing the clothing of females kicked in. I cannot figure it out.

All I know is allowing Stephanie to take over this shell of protoplasm soothes the soul.

[Jenny22]

Only crossdressers crossdress for stress relief, which tells me that it's something else that drives the crossdressing. Non-crossdressers do other things for stress relief (drink, kick the dog......). Stress relief may be a by-product of crossdressing for some, but not the primary driver.

p.s. I would never kick a dog. But a cat........

You can never kick a cat, because their staff would stop you!! grin

[TaraGrace]

I find cd'ing helps me deal with loneliness.

saw this and just have to give some hugs here

[Tracii G]

Why would anyone want to kick a cat? They didn't do anything to you.

[bstewart9901]

My urges to dress seem to come out of no where, but I have noticed that I dress whenever I am stressed. It seems to help a lot.

[NicoleScott]

For the record I've never kicked a cat. But I've shot......well, never mind.
Hey, I'm just kidding. I used "kicked a cat" as an example that stress can cause some people to "lose it" and do physical harm to things, other people, themselves, and even animals. Crossdressing is a much better alternative.

[Lorileah]

p.s. I would never kick a dog. But a cat........

ripples.jpg ahem....


I fully understand stress dressing, been there and done that. Too bad about the coworkers. I know you feel compassion and I hope it gets better

[flatlander_48]

I was lucky and survived the cut, but several of my friends are out looking for jobs now. When it comes to corporate downsizing, there are no winners. I kind of wish I was laid off instead. I feel guilty that I survived and they didn't.

I've been a mechanical engineer for 43+ years and soon to be retired. I have been through several of those cycles with both companies that I have worked for. It is always painful on both sides. Before one of those layoffs our then VP of Engineering left a voicemail for all of us after hours on the night before the actions were to take place. I knew him fairly well and he was a genuinely good guy; the kind of person that you would trust to make the best of a bad situation. As he spoke, his voice cracked a couple of times and it left the impression that he really didn't like doing what he had to do. There was no detachment; no separation. He was definitely in the moment. That's the kind of person that you would sign up for walking through fire for without even being asked.

Putting on my former supervisor hat, the thing we have to remember about downsizing is that usually there are reasons for what happens, but it may not be obvious. Sometimes a strategy may not reveal itself until will after the actions have taken place. When a function or a department is deemed unnecessary, often it may not matter if you're a super star. Unless there is somewhere else to go, and often there isn't because it is after all a downsizing, you are going out the door. That's the sad reality of it. Further, we often don't know what the perception of a given person within the organization is. That's a wild card because it's possible that the perception doesn't match reality. Once or twice I was part of a group that made the determinations regarding who was staying and who was going. While it wasn't an easy task, particularly because we were making potentially life-altering decisions, we owed it to people that we be rigorous, fair and logical.

L:

Regardless of what end you are on regarding the downsizing process, it is going to be stressful. Many times some stress is a good thing, but in this situation it can be destabilizing. You mentioned guilt, but worry also comes into play because you think about What Next? What else can happen? Will the actions effect the work that you do? Will you be forced to do the same work with fewer people? Did they cut too much? Lots of unknowns.

It would seem that anything that will lower stress levels for you, short of involving some sort of controlled substances, is a good thing. Distressing a bit by dressing works. It helps to throw off some negative energy and that can allow us to make better decisions about what needs to happen in the future.

So, Rest, Relax and Recharge!

DeeAnn

[RedFourteen]

I find also that my urge to dress is most needy when stress is high and it really does cut the anxiety... and there's a lot of anxiety. I've been expecting to loose my job every 2-3 weeks for the last decade so the shareholders can see a little quicker profit in their portfolio... barf.

There's just something about stepping away from myself for awhile that truly is wonderful.

[Kellitgdet]

Hi Ladies,

I have dressed when I was stressed and it does help me feel wonderful about myself instead of down. I usually always have a underlying urge to dress. What sets off a strong urge to dress is when I see a super cute dress, heels, well done makeup, nails and then I go in to full girl mode and want to shop and put outfits together. Basically any thing feminine done very well has me wanting to emulate.

I love cross dressing, Kelli

[CONSUELO]

Lena,
Sorry to hear about what is happening at your company. I have been through many layoffs in the unenviable position of having to choose who goes and who stays as you struggle to meet some percentage of payroll cut. For me it brought on great bouts of depression as I could not distance myself from real people.
As for dressing to relieve stress, that is something that I have noticed for a long time. Being dressed does help me relieve stress. A psychologist that I saw for some time believed that this was a part of being a cross dresser. We dress for many reasons, one of which is to enjoy the feeling of relaxation as we change into feminine clothing. It is as if in the process you are separating yourself from your normal world.

Good luck. The industry will come back. It always does and the faster the price fall the faster excess capacity gets shaken out and some sort of equilibrium is restored.

[Lena]

well, the layoff sucked and I'm just now getting back to normal afterwards. I plan on some serious unwinding this weekend while my mother-in-law and wife are on a cruise. I already ordered a new bra and stockings from amazon for the weekend festivities. I think this will be my first ever full fem/full weekend.

on the bright side of it, those who didn't get cut are considered "franchise players" We should be safe unless oil falls below $15.