For me it's an escape. Weekly at work I deal with situations, make stuff fit and work and, ward off vampires. At home, it's outsmarting financial and personality challenges.
And then there's Carla time. My time. I'm at peace because I afforded myself this moment. I'm Carla the woman.
What's your deal?
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
For me it's reality. Or, at least it feels like it. Having grown up expecting to turn into a girl, dressing as one just became what I expected to be normal for me; my 'boy mode' was considered just something temporary that hid who I really was. And I still feel that way. My male clothing is just a sort of uniform to wear in order to accomplish specific chores.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I'm a gender bender every day so its a reality.
im with Traci....its an everyday thing....it may not be full makeup, glitter, sequins, and mini skirts, everyday....it could be borring leggings, flat womens combat boots, a tee, a flannel shirt, beenie with minimul makeup...it diddnt start out that way...it evolved over time...it was an escape from reality in the beginning, it relieved the stress at first....
Yes!
(ie. Both or I'm confused)
Reality -- now that is a squishy concept. Interesting thread. Like you, Carla, my CDing has a lot of escape in it, but somehow it has a bit of a reality of its own. I am not public, so it is not that kind of reality. I guess it has kind of a separate softer reality.
Vale
Carla,
Late last year I came close to separation , with that my intention was to move and dress as a reality. The reality at the moment are my commitments to my family but so is the growing stash of female attire and still thinking about the everyday use of it.
Maybe you could rephrase the question and ask do you want to escape to CD ?
Escape is an interesting term. I guess when I can be totally en fem as Kim I am escaping the other 96% of who I am. But I look at it more of "expressing" that small side of my reality. Escape is a good word to use though, because when I am Kim I do feel FREE.
Thanks Carla
Kim
I never chose to dress as a woman, dressing as a woman chose me
Thankfully, since I started dressing I have never seriously thought about the why. Especially after reading so many questioning people here who had to know the real reason who in the meantime seemed far from happy and balanced. I am happy and almost balanced by not dwelling on an unanswerable question. Now that I am moving further down that path, along that spectrum, I am starting to think, not about the why, but what is next. I liked my reality before ever starting all this and still like my reality today and do not want to lose that feeling. I do not yet need to escape from anything, including me. That today is my deal.
Yes it is an escape of sorts but the need to dress as feminine as possible as much as I can is invariable. So itself it is a sort of reality.
Escape!
About 5 years ago, when I realized I was not TS, I began thinking of Sherry as a fantasy. And, the adventure down the rabbit hole began!
That opened the door to a fem world of uninhibited and unlimited wonders and adventures that I had never experienced, or even imagined, in my previous 65 years!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I'm at a point in life that I can freely reflect. I find that I'm feeling myself as woman today. Very comfortable in thought and we are going out to a movie today. It is not and escape for me anymore.
Part Time Girl
It is an expression of a reality that has always been there.
Escape for me. I enjoy being my male self, but do like the small amount of time I do get to express my female side.
Definitely reality.I am finally able to live my life the way I should have been born. I am so much more happier now than ever before.
Great point Carla! I used to think it was an 'escape' and I still completely get that, but I'm coming to realize it's really who I am...I think...or maybe I just need to escape my reality 😧
Reality. Straight girl, wrong body.
I'm a nice Jewish girl.
I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman.
Definitely both, and maybe a third. The third being an alternate reality. This (in my case) is not simply an escape. An escape suspends reality. But there are parts of my real life I do not want intermixed with my female identity, at least for the time being. Some of these things are simply because the female identity would add nothing specifically positive to the mix.
But for myself, I also take in to account the fact that I did grow up as male, and therefore there are parts of me that are this person that dresses oh so drab. Actually, it was a bit easier in the 80's (and I was in my 20s) when we could dress a little 'interesting'.
How do I escape? Some fantasy, especially when I get into thinking about physics and flying. I'll research into lepton dynamics or other related things and play mindstorm games as i wait for nails to dry. Or work up a flight plan on flight simulator- see how far I can stretch the fuel to IFR reserve minimums- or compare multiple climb or descent profiles to see which gets the best combo of distance/avg speed and fuel burn. I'm a geek, so doing this while wearing a cocktail dress or a cute/chic pantsuit or skirt suit, suits me just fine.
But what then about realty, you may ask: Grading papers, creating assignments or labs, writing white sheet papers and research for new classes/labs. Cleaning house, cooking, home repairs (recently re-did 2 closets in cedar, the last of which was done totally while wearing cute dresses. I took plenty of time to go slow and careful- and cleaning up between cuts, drillings, or shaping/sanding so as not to track cedar shavings all over the mansion... So it was easy to stay clean and enjoy the ironic fun of dressing up to do woodwork!), and certain other mechanical type stuff.
What about girly stuff? Umm.. What's girly? Makeup? - do this anyway in concert with all the other things. Shopping? Rarely en femme. Probably should change that a little, but most shopping these days, either male or female in appearance, is at home via internet, on the way home just before stores close, or the occasional semi-planned outing to a home store- usually when I'm in the middle of something anyway. Perhaps motorcycling with my wife- but I still need to do a bit of work on the fuel system before I trust the bike enough to go out en-femme on it that way (but it is fun getting the outfit worked out ahead of time).
It's an escape for me, I look forward to having some "girl time", but there are times when it just consumes me and that's when it becomes my reality.
For me it's a better reality, that is, it makes me feel better. But it is absolutely a reality.
I'm not sure that everything we do isn't a form of escape from reality... because reality boils down to certainty of death. How we fill the time between then and now - as Janis Joplin pointed out, it's all the same f*****g day. Some fill it by building empires, some by drinking themselves into a cardboard box under a bridge- so what if we wear skirts or trousers? When seen from space the difference isn't exactly consequential- we just think it is because all we are is an ego on legs and almost all of us live our lives the way we think we should, rather than the way we might otherwise. CDers sail a little closer to the wind, that's all, and much of what I read here shows that most of us worry a great deal about how we look and are perceived, just like the rest of humanity.
I'm off to town to pick out a headstone- can't decide between granite and limestone- any of you girls got some advice??
xxNikki
I used to have a short attention spa
Limestone is better for lichen, granite for long-lasting shine, why not marble or a custom ceramic job?
I think initially - this time last year - it was an escape from the entrapment of the male role in the world, for me. And since then it became my clothes and sense of gender and so its not cross anymore, and now i KNOW, i'm no longer "cross" in the emotional sense - how's that for a laugh?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.
thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er
I just do it for fun and because I like it. It's like having a super-hero secret identity -except I don't need a phone cabin to change.
Is it an escape of reality?
Hmmm... depends on what you mean with the word "escape".
I know what reality is. I enjoy my male identity which is the real one.
Yet it's good, relaxing, exciting and funny to crossdress.
So yes and no. It is sometimes an escape but not always.
It is not a reality except for the fact I crossdress for real so it's not unreal and not just an unfulfilled fantasy.
with me it is both I was recently diagnosed as being strongly gender fluid more to come on that later, on the escape side with my wife having alzheimers it helps me relax from those stresses that accumulate . I spent a good deal of my working time in the alaskan bush very remote and quiet ,I use this escape when the job gets a bit much ,my boss knows this and has learned to give me the space i need had them all wondering recently I brought in a friends dogsled and harnesses to repair it was as much fun to do the work as it was to mess with their minds
For me it is an escape from reality but I do think about it all of the time.
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