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Thread: Yes or no

  1. #26
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    Tara, great answer, almost fell off my chair laughing. But this has been discussed so many times. Would we want to be desired. Yes
    Part Time Girl

  2. #27
    New Member Alexann's Avatar
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    It would be nice if they all were ok with crossdressing and it's a good thing they have a Choice

  3. #28
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    this ain't gonna last long I can tell. This comes up all the time "They can I can't"

    Let's keep this on the rails
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  4. #29
    That guy in a dress Sky's Avatar
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    Yes.
    And no.
    And maybe.
    Some are very open minded and accept lots of things.
    Some are very close minded and can't accept anything different from what they know.
    And some are somewhere in between.
    They are all human beings entitled to their own tastes and opinions, as long as they don's use violence. I have no problem whatsoever with horrified people saying "Crossdressing? Eek!"

  5. #30
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deebra View Post
    Put yourself in a woman or girl's position, should they be O.K. with a male crossdressing to what ever degree whether it be just panties, under dressing, androgynous, a few visible items or all out.
    Is this a false premise? The question might be, "Should GGs be O.K. with a partner who goes beyond what society deems acceptable or ordinary and as such risks being judged negatively by others and risks being ostracized." Think of any behavior or form of presentation other than CDing that people might think weird, and spouses will have the same reaction as they do to the CDing.

    Deebra, even though SAs and fellow female shoppers might be cordial to you, it doesn't mean you'd be invited to hang out with them, their families and kids (while dressed), go to their block parties, be invited to their work holiday parties, asked to serve in a public capacity or chair a charitable organization, etc.

    That said, I think the less that shows, the easiest it is for a spouse. So a husband just wearing panties (at one extreme) I think is accepted by more spouses than a husband who wants to come out to everyone they know (at the other extreme). Spouses tend to be more OK with their husbands dressing in private than in public. And if they do go out in public, more spouses are OK with dressing far away from home than in their own neighborhoods. I dare say that most CDers feel the same way.


    Quote Originally Posted by deebra View Post
    Females do it to all degrees and it's accepted by all. Now answer the question.
    I have never run across a woman who wears men's underwear unless he is FtM transitioning. And women buy their pants in women's stores, in women's sizes, in women's cuts, and so they are not crossdressing.
    Reine

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
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    Let's all join hands here now and everybody sing! "We are the world, we are the children. . . .

  7. #32
    Member Julia1984's Avatar
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    Like it or not, there is an asymmetry. For cis men, clothing is gender related. For cis women it isn't. Isn't it as simple as that?

  8. #33
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnnieMac View Post
    Let's all join hands here now and everybody sing! "We are the world, we are the children. . . .
    I agree, it would be nice if everyone in this world accepted men who want to present as women.

    It would also be nice if there was no more greed, racial and religious intolerance, economic disparity, subjugation of women and mistreatment of children in some countries, and wars. I struggle sometimes with coming to terms with all the horrible things in our world. My SO said it best, we can only do what we can and let go of the rest.
    Reine

  9. #34
    Member KrissyP's Avatar
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    No. We struggle too much with the "why" and self acceptance ourselves to presume that women must accept us unconditionally. Agree with the comments about the false assumption that women wearing pants and shirts is the same as our CDing.

    Is this a false premise? The question might be, "Should GGs be O.K. with a partner who goes beyond what society deems acceptable or ordinary and as such risks being judged negatively by others and risks being ostracized." Think of any behavior or form of presentation other than CDing that people might think weird, and spouses will have the same reaction as they do to the CDing.
    To Reine's point earlier I am reminded of the movie, "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" We all have our definition of what is "ordinary" and things and people and situations outside of that are challenging. And that is OK if we allow ourselves to think about why we are that way.

    It always amazes me as well how harsh and judgmental we can be towards people we consider harsh and judgmental.

  10. #35
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I spent (or wasted) 40 years to accept myself.

    If my wife's acceptance progresses at that same rate, I only have 31 more years to wait.

    But, I do hope by then that she recognizes that she wasted 40 years.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  11. #36
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    Not really. We haven't spent our lifetimes as females. We might think we can put ourselves in the position of a female but in reality, we cannot.
    Empathy doesn't require that you have walked a mile in the shoes of those you empathize with. It is simply the capacity of being able to understand or identify with the POV or experiences of others. I don't have to have been homeless to empathize with their plight. Same goes for women in this example. I can only imagine the hurt and pain we put our SO's through by virtue of who we are and/or what we do. For better or worse, right or wrong, it simply doesn't mesh with most women's world view.

    It seems that it is a lack of empathy which fuels these "again" threads.

    Many have expressed that they'd have issues with their woman putting the guy (with all of the trappings), let alone going out & about with "him" while he feeds his need for power tools, then coming home to have sex with him. Yet many here have that same expectation or dream that their SO find it in them to accept this part of us, to participate and even make it part of the sexual relationship. After all, "I'm the same person you married underneath..." There are a lot of leaps of faith to be taken by our SO's in this common scenario which are often exceeded by the liberties taken on our parts.

    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    And women buy their pants in women's stores, in women's sizes, in women's cuts, and so they are not crossdressing.
    So true but why does this have to be said over and over and over and over again?

    Anyone who truly feels that women's pants are part of their accepted crossdressing movement should be sentenced to ditching all of their male pants and buying 10 pair from the women's section in a variety of styles to wear in guy mode. After all, they're the same thing, right???
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  12. #37
    wiggle it, just a lil bit Julia Welch's Avatar
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    We are all individuals and as such we are all different ... we ALL have a choice !!
    Fun loving skirt wearer

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