Having the means but lacking the willpower

[joanne51]

When I was younger I engaged in activities like skydiving and later flying light aircraft.
I had the motivation to learn the skills required to become proficient at both sports.
What I lacked was the cash to buy equipment and continue enjoying doing what I loved.

Now I have all I need to be Joanne and venture out as such. But what I lack is what it takes to
come out and be Joanne in the company of others.
It is ironic that I could throw myself out of an aircraft and get the ultimate high, yet I am virtually
locked out when it comes to feeling the joy that I first experienced long before I took up these sports.

[ReineD]

It's not the same thing.

Unlike going out dressed, the skydiving and flying do not potentially result in negative judgment by pockets of our population.

One of our most fundamental needs as humans, is to be included in the society in which we live, even if it is only by a group of core people. We need to feel we belong and we need to feel valued.

The Social Death Penalty: Why Being Ostracized Hurts Even More Than Bullying

There's a reason solitary confinement leads to severe emotional and physical consequences. Being avoided by people who are not members of this community, or having them not be willing to become emotionally closer because they distrust the CDing is not as bad as solitary confinement, but it still has negative consequences and so I think this is what you fundamentally fear.

[Rachelakld]

I only did a few jumps and not enough hours to get a pilot license but I spent lots of money on race cars, skiing, girls and parties.
With 4 daughters - I still spend lots of money on girls

I just came to the realization, I'm a male to female cross dresser, and you can't do it without balls

A girlfriend of mine just did her first jump (tandum), but then, she always dresses more manly than me and drives big rigs for a living, so the world is full of gender variations

[docrobbysherry]

As Reine said, it's NOT the same. Would u do those sports naked, Joanne? If u would, THEN maybe u can compare them with dressing in public!

Some dressers that can't pass, r just NOT comfortable going out dressed. I'm one. If I never went out in vanillaland dressed again, I wouldn't miss it.

The only reason I go out is to meet others. CD's/TS's r remarkable folks. And, many r too much fun to be around!

[Suzanne F]

Joanne
Give it one try. Find someone to do it with you, either a GG friend or another TG lady. If you hate it you don't ever have to try again. When I stepped outside the car I knew I was never going back!
Suzanne

[joanne51]

I feel it is only a matter of time, maybe a few weeks, before I have to come out to my partner. My CD collection is in a junk room that has to be cleared and made habitable. Purging is not an option.
Besides I feel I need Joanne in my life (shes been there in one form or another for about 50 years).
Once I am out to my partner, I am quite looking forward to being out in public.

[Alice Torn]

Reine, that is so true. I have been largely isolated for 6 years now, since i was forced to leave the Seattle area, and help my now 95 yr old dad, and loner sister, and toxic brother. My cats are my only friends here. I can relate to what Joanne says. Used to do new construction and residential window and skylight cleaning, and risked my life many times on steep roofs, ladders, but going out in public as Alice has always been a bigger challenge. Finally went out alone 7 times last summer! One step at a time, Joanne.

[heatherdress]

Good luck, Joanne. Seems like you are doing the right thing.

[mechamoose]

++ For RenieD's answer.

For some reason, embarrassment is harder to deal than outright risk.

If you are jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, you KNOW what will happen if things go south. That kind our courage is pretty straightforward.

Stepping out in a dress? That takes a special kind of courage. You don't have a parachute.

You might get mocked. You might get attacked. You might get complimented. You have no idea which one before you jump.

Kitty / Moose

[Diversity]

Two entirely different scenarios. Skydiving is socially acceptable and there are no worries in letting others know about you doing it. Unfortunately, crossdressing is not yet socially acceptable and has the potential to negatively impact your standing in society as well as affect your family an friends in the confusion of trying to understand your need to CD, defend your need to family, friends and people that may be confronting to you (because they love you), and trying to adjust their feelings about the CD issue in general.
Di

[Judy-Somthing]

May be you can come out a little at a time. Like using a touch of makeup like contouring.
And clothes that not obviously fem but leaning that way.
I hope things work out well for you. Life is an interesting road.