I love being both...and since sharing with my wife, I get a day or two a month to go out as Trisha. that includes dressing at home. That is much better than the hiding I did for years...
I love being both...and since sharing with my wife, I get a day or two a month to go out as Trisha. that includes dressing at home. That is much better than the hiding I did for years...
No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.
I love being a CD.
I also think that everyone should have private aspects of their lives, even if they are married.
So yes, I enjoy my double life.
In the beginning having a double life felt kind of cool like being a secret agent. As gen got out more the other side of my life got quieter because there was less I could talk about. having a double life means hiding so much of Who We Are. keep that in mind as you see where this path takes you. who's going to be there along the way and who's going to be there in the end? don't shut out those you may need later. The path can get lonely.
I hate my double life i have been married 39 years and my wife has known since we got together . She used to be with women when i met her.she had three kids she found some of my clothes when we first met. confronted me about them .i told her about my dressing she said she didnt like it but would try to give me what i needed.that was 39 years ago ,i raised her kids as my own plus my own son .and all these years later im still in a dadt relationship.Now as im getting older i feel i lost so much .i didnt get to dress i have to sneak around i hate it i have told others and i have been outed by my ex wife. but that was when i was younger.boy was that a nightmare.im a mechanic by trade she told all my male friends.lost all my male friends now this wife after all these years cant stand this part of me it hurts so much.but i put one foot in front of the other just keep going.but the times i get dressed takes all this away.Thank God for this site i dont know where i would be if i didnt find this place .i love being able to talk to others like myself. to know im not alone in this world.Thank you all for sharing here.
Krissy,
It's very sad you have to live this way when your CDing feelings can't be helped, it's part of you ! I know I nearly pushed too far but in the process I have gradually come out in stages where I no longer care who knows, what they say or think isn't going to change whats inside you, I guess I'm lucky to have found the right people to come out to , they may be different behind my back but that's life.
I have found that social meetings do help in trying to get a balance with CDing , to me they aren't often enough at once a month but it's an acceptable level for my wife, again life becomes a compromise.
Please PM me if you want to chat more , the forum is here to help .
I fell that I am lucky and do enjoy my double life. Since I work from home I am able to wear women's paints and tops all the the time. At the same time every one that I work with via phone and email knows me as male and when I am out for work at the office or a customer's location I wear a coat and tie. I am able to move between the two very easily and do enjoy both.
Richelle
Holly,everyone is entitled to keep some things to themselves even when married but crossdressing isn't one of them. A wife is entitled to know who she has married. I am still getting to know my husband's other side. I feel he is 2 different people. Tbh,I couldn't give a fiddlers about the cding. It wasn't always that way of course. It's the secrets and lies that plauge me most of all. It makes me doubt myself and I question absolutely everything over our nearly 10 years together. You still think it's ok to keep it to yourself??
You could probably call it a double life but I don't have a problem with it.
I have a group of friends that are very accepting when I dress en femme. I am planning a trip to Las Vegas with them this summer and I will spend much of the time dressed. Some are male and most are genetic females. My wife knows I dress and she will be going with us. I have another group of friends who don't know I crossdress. Truthfully, I have gone to Halloween parties dressed as Cher and as a bride over the years but they don't know I do it on a regular basis. I don't think they would be hurtful to me if they found out but a few of them would think it was strange so I simply don't share it with them. Ultimately I have friends I like to golf with, but others who don't play golf. Everyone knows we play golf but we don't need to discuss only golf topics with the non golfers.
So I enjoy all aspects of my life and share my common interests with like minded people.
Rebecca Bas
I live in 2 worlds. Some people know me only in my in drab mode and others only in my en femme mode. The unfortunate fact is that a lot of people don't accept CDs so if I only live life in the en femme mode my circle of qcquantences and activities would be limited. Certainly my company would not employ me in my en femme mode nor could I be a member of the hobby related club which is such a major part of my life. Living in 2 modes is tough but it does have its advantages. I think I get the best of the 2 worlds I live in. For professional and social reasons I have to spend most of my time in the in drab mode, but still I get in a fair amount of en femme mode. I have learned to put up with this situation and make the best of it.
I completely understand your feelings. I have been married 48 years and my wife still doesn't approve. She does allow pantyhose/stockings and panties. Trips overnight for my parttime job give me time to dress. I can drive dressed. Buy my gas dressed and get my food dressed. I am planning on checking into my hotel dressed this year although I have dressed in hotels before. I wish I could be with her dressed. Attempts have failed.
The times I can dress are always relaxing and contact with others are usually good.
For me it is a love hate relationship. I love dressing but hate that I feel a compulsion to. Life would have been easier if I never wore a dress
I have but one life in two sets of clothng. And with my wife on line with it I don't need life #2.
Angie
I love being both sides and i love being who i am. I wish i can get out more often and meet fellow like minded ladies
Genifers comments resonated well with me, when she said " like being a super agent ". My en femme mode is my alter ego that only I know ( with the exception of one person ). I enjoy seeing how different I can look from my male self when fully dressed. Would I rather not have to hide it - absolutely. As Teresa said " life is a compromise " is very real. The collateral damage that coming out would cause is too great for my family, therefore I choose to keep it hidden. After as many years that I have been crossdressing, I have peace with it now. I love being able to have two parts to me as I feel it makes my life just a bit more interesting. Perfect no, but not a bad way to live. Hell I just shaved my legs for the first time ever today and boy I love how my legs look in pantyhose. Ladies/guys try not to beat yourself up about your CDing, it's a part of us that is probably not going to go away. Enjoy life.
Lady Pleasure
Dinky39. My wife knows I'm a CD, so it's no secret. She's not interested in being involved with it, and she told me she would rather have never found out.
So you could say she is entitled NOT to know.
I love it!
Definitely two lives even with people that know both sides (which are not a large number) when not dressed they can tell which side is in the drivers seat so to speak sometimes just by looking. And I enjoy both lives just wish was more time in the day to spend as Jessica sometimes.
I would agree with some of girls here about being gender fluid. It fits me well. In male mode, my body movement and actions are clearly male. I can't seem to figure out how as Stephanie how easy it seems to act female. I love my time out as Stephanie. I'm going to going to Stars hockey Thursday as a guy. Of course, that'll be with my boss so it'll be a great guy time. I wish though I could find a friend in the Dallas area to go out with who accepts Stephanie. Until then, I'll enjoy my girl time out.
Hugs,
Stephanie
Double life. Wow. Yes, it can offer it's challenges at time for me. Especially since I'm married with kids. It's always strong and macho in front of the kids, but behind these layers...I am soft as can be. It becomes harder everyday to balance the two because one side is decreasing while the other continues to grow rapidly.
be sweet for me
-Renae
I'm the same in both modes. The only thing really different is the presentation.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Lisa I love the way you describe "Gender Fluid" it describes me perfectly!Originally Posted by S. Lisa Smith
Traci I agree with you 100% i believe I have the best of both worlds!
I hate being closeted. I too wish that my spouse was more understanding.
I make the best of it. My wife knows about my dressing and supports, and I can freely do so at our second place. Not so much at the main residence as too many people come and go. I never go out so my dressing is always indoors. Never felt the need to talk it any farther.
I spent over 2 decades in a kind of DADT marriage, and it was a wedge. Much of it, if not all was my own immaturity and shame, more than a problem with the wife. At first she bought things, even gifts, for me, and I openly completely dressed around her often, but I always felt some sort of judgement, so I put myself in the closet mostly and probably squandered a much richer relationship.
It was if I was letting her down by not conforming to the he-man role, so I chose to cut way back for years.
We mentioned it occasionally, as sometimes I would remark on a bra or sometimes we would buy makeup together, but we never really discussed it. It felt to me like a wedge between our openness with each other and a so-called normal life.
Every once in awhile, we would briefly sort of bond on something like a certain shade of lipstick, but then it was as if we were both suddenly uncomfortable, and stopped talking about it.
Looking back, I'm sure it was my immaturity and not knowing myself that created these mental walls in my own mind.
Hell, I still don't know me.
Yes I do not mind my double life.For me it has been inside of me for years, just below the surface so to speak.I have been retired for 5 years and do have more time to dress in private, I'am closeted because my wife does not approve. My life has level off to the platonic stage with my wife.The need to address my gurl self has become very strong in the last couple of years. My body is very electric and stimulated when dressed and that is what intrigues me.I wish there was another cross dresser that I could feel safe around.For years I felt guilty about my feelings but I don't care or give a damn any more life is too short and I enjoy it. This website is great place to talk and give suggestions. Devone
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