Last Friday, March 25, marked one year since beginning HRT. Over the weekend I did a lot of reflecting on where I am now and where things are going.
First and foremost, I feel the best I've been in many, many years! My confidence is back and physically I think I'm in great condition for a 60 year old. I'm not as quick tempered as I used to be before. My EMPATHY has shown up, much to the surprise of my wife! Most of all a lot of my anxiety has left. The only real tension I have is wondering if I'm keeping my physical appearance "male" enough for my wife and I to continue our 27 year marriage. So far I continue to present as a male in my wife's world to keep things happy. And for now, I'm good with that. My love for her is as strong as ever and I wish to keep it that way.
My wife does not care for Heidi, but has come to realize that I need to express myself from time to time. She has seen the changes that have happened since last March, and as far as I can tell, is pleased as well with my behavioral changes. She has given me space to attend conferences and times during the week where Heidi can be herself. I credit the HRT for helping me keep our relationship alive.
I have told this before, that I am holding on my dosage amount to keep me from physically changing too much. I am at a level that is doing wonders for my mental state and not causing drastic changes in appearance. This does not mean there have not been any changes in appearance. My skin is softer, my hair on my head is thicker and my love handles have started showing up in my rear end. Then there is the growth of my breasts. I've had a broad, but flat chest, from years of being a competitive swimmer in my teens. I never had much pectoral fat, moobs if you will, in my recent years. Until now. It took almost 9 months, but the girls are starting to show and this may be one of my future problems in trying to maintain a male presence in my wife's world. She thinks this may be a problem too. But as I continue to point out to her, men my age have bigger breasts than I do now and no one seems to have a problem with them being bare chested. I assured her I'd be discrete.
So that's a nutshell in what I've gone though in my first year on HRT. I realize there are a lot of you who have been on it for years and have different goals for why you are on it. But we all are seeking true happiness, and right now I have found it. I hope to keep things stay the way they are for now, but life can toss us anything and I hope I'll be prepared.