I owned it and got *quite* a reaction

[PattyT]

You did well and socked it to her.
In the long run, however, it seems better to go shopping en femme for female attire.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm glad you all had as much fun reading about my adventure as I had experiencing it.

Which Stein Mart? Since you've broken the ice, perhaps I'll follow with a visit to buy shoes. The SA will wonder, what the %^*{

I usually go to the one on Rte 50 in Chantilly, but this time I was at the Falls Church store:

7271 ARLINGTON BLVD
FALLS CHURCH VA US 22042

You were trying on shoes barefoot? That's kind of an uncool move.

yes, there is the possibility of picking up a fungus or athlete's foot. If I'm planning to try on shoes I'll wear thin socks (trouser socks, men's dress socks…) - and shoe stores have nylon booties available if needed.

Yeah grab one of the nylon footies next time and not your bare feet. Any lady knows the rule LOLOL

This lady knows that rule also, but I couldn't find the footies. When I finally finished my "honey do" list, I escaped as fast as I could before my wife could add anything to the list. But I forgot my knee highs.

Last week I had seen some shoes that I liked at the Chantilly Stein Mart, and I had planned to go back there during my lunch break, so I underdressed in pantihose. Unfortunately, the shoes I had seen were already gone.

There's a Payless in the area that gets so many CDs coming in they seem to expect to hear "they're for me".

I was at the local Payless a couple of weeks ago, but I know that they're cool with CDs there (after all, how many GGs wear a 12W), so I just tried them on with footies and walked around in them. When I found out that the 11s and 12s were on a special sale, I walked back to the rack and picked up a second pair before checking out.

After Stein Mart, I went to Burlington Coat Factory and I found another pair I liked, but I didn't have time to find an out of the way place to try them on, so I just bought them. I can always return them.

You did well and socked it to her.
In the long run, however, it seems better to go shopping en femme for female attire.

I have gone shopping a lot in girl mode, but usually when I'm already dressed for some event.

According to my wife, she can't see me en femme around the house, and I can't leave the neighborhood dressed.

Plus, it takes me at least an hour to get pretty enough to go out, and a half an hour to return to boy mode, and even longer if I have to change in the car and use the "dashboard vanity".

[Ressie]

As far as I'm concerned, the main benefit of the nylon "footies" is that they facilitate the slipping into (and out of) shoes while one is trying them on - no more, and no less. Beyond that, they are simply a form of "feel good" window dressing, and provide no discernible barrier properties. Anyone who thinks that they protect either the shoe or the wearer from the possible transmission of a foot fungus or other type of communicable infection is only fooling themselves. They are nothing more than a glorified knitted mesh sieve when it comes down to it, which is also why a secondary use for pantyhose is as a strainer for paint or the like.

Your opinion is noted. I don't know much about it, but here's someone else's opinion. Not that I believe everything on Huffington post

...those little boxes of disposable socks that shoe stores provide to you are there for a reason. Fungus and the wart-causing virus can lurk in shoes...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...n_5412800.html

[CarleyR]

I have a story like Bonni's. I surreptitiously tried on some shoes at Payless and decided on one pair. As I stood in line, a SA, who I think must have seen me try them on, told me, in a voice anyone could hear, that my second purchase was half off, and they had nice nylons and purses, which qualified for the discount.

it was good that she was accepting. But embarrassing for me. It was my first ever purchase of women's shoes outside of a thrift store.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Sounds a lot like the first time I dared to try on a pair of pumps, no one around, took off my shoes and socks, pulled up pant legs on my pants and put on the 4 inch pumps. I wanted to take a few steps to see how they felt and ....Boom, a young boy,(15-16 year old) pops around the corner.... So, what next? What could I do or say? I just said, "So, what do you think? He just looked at me...kind of smiled and looked bewildered.

Was the beginning of loving to dress and try on things while out shopping!

[suzanne]

Good on you for owning it. More and more, I believe the key to our general acceptance in the world is visibility. Whenever any one of us goes out in clothing that is feminine but appropriate for the situation, we have an opportunity to show the world we are not freaks but regular folks with maybe non standard taste. It should be no big deal and NOBODY'S business that we prefer a dress to a suit.

I'm surprised at how you or anyone here are still getting responses that are less than welcoming. That's just not the reaction I get anywhere. At least from sales staff. The odd older customer has a bit of a scowl for me, but that's the exception as well.

[Eva Bella]

I bought a few pairs of shoes from Payless - after trying them on and dressed in guy mode. No special reaction from the staff there at all. I think that they see it all of the time. It makes sense that part time CD's would shop there as it's self-service and very inexpensive.

I then bought a pricer pair of heels from Bloomingdales. The SA was in her 40s and a bit apprehensive at first. But I asked for a size 11 and said very plainly that I'm transgender and I dress in femme clothes half of the time. After that, all was well and I received excellent service.

I definitely more of a CD than a TG, but I think that all of the recent talk about Transgender individuals is a huge help for all of us. It gives people a reference point and makes things more understandable. Anyone working at a large chain would also probably feel nervous about a discrimination claim. I think that the key is to be relaxed, confident, and respectful of the other female consumers.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Steffi, how did you feel at the SA's reaction? Embarrassment? Pride? Relief at being honest?

Actually, none of the above. If I had been embarrassed, my face would have turned red. It didn't.

As for pride and relief, not really. But I did feel comfortable enough to own it, and if the SA was freaked out, that was her problem, not mine. I might have violated the footies rule, but I wasn't in ladies dressing room.

As they say, it's not my first rodeo. I usually shop in male mode due to logistics. And I admit that it's usually for "retail therapy".

I normally shop at Stein Mart, Kohl's, Macy's, Sears, KMart, and the thrift stores in drab. I take my time going through the racks, but usually take my selections (including shoes) to the men's dressing room to try on. In Nordstrom Rack, Burlington Coat Factory, Talbots, Ross and TJ Maxx I'm also usually in drab, but the dressing rooms are monitored. I use the gender presentation appropriate dressing room. On a really bold day shopping at BCF in drab, I took four dresses to the changing area and tried them on on the men's side. The dressing room monitor was surprised, to say the least, but no big deal.

I've shopped at Dress Barn in both male and female modes, and I try on selections in whatever dressing room the SA gives me. DB usually has several sets of separated dressing rooms, so the SA can put me next to a GG or t another part of the store.

[Petra1]

I recently tried on shoes by asking them into the dressing room.

[StacyCD]

I did the same thing once and the SA said that she had the same shoes and thought they were very comfortable!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Steffi , Whenever I'm headed to Payless I'm always wearing thin nylon trouser socks for the Male try on of heels.

[Georgette_USA]

To tell the truth I have yet to see someone in drab male shopping in the women's departments. Or see any TG/CD/TS dressed. Could be they are very good and passable. Most of the time I only shop at only women's stores.

If I come across someone, would most prefer I ignore them. Or offer any help or advice. Or even ask them about themselves. And identify myself as TG/TS.

How do many react when it is a male SA. Have to admit it does make me feel a little awkward asking for intimate help.

[deebra]

I have been to all the shoe stores, I wear girl jeans, panties, panty hose and 3" heel booties with a side zipper (easy for getting off and on). I like the reaction when a SA or customer notices I am trying on the shoes and I have on hose. Once they see this it's like the light bulb went on and they go back to minding their own business, they also say nothing when I walk around the store in heels and pumps.

I recently went to the mall on a Saturday at noon and passed probially 300 people wearing 3" tapered heel black boots under boot cut girl jeans, 4 women I passed noticed but said nothing, just a quick surprised look. That's a 99% pass rate, what person taking a test wouldn't want that score? 1 minute later they had forgot all about me, it sounds like a win/win score to me.

[AprilR]

This reminds me of two times I went to a few stores. I picked out a few things and told passing SAs I was buying something for my girlfriend. They smiled at me and went on but when I went to pay the clerks looking with a odd look in their face. And when I was really buying something for my girlfriend they seemed all relaxed.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Some people are such babies!
I went into a Salvation Army store last week and as I was looking at dresses a female store clerk putting dresses on the rack said to herself "someone needs a dress".
It put a real bummer on my dress-up fun, they had a cute dress my size for $8 but after that I couldn't buy it. I don't know if I read her wrong but I thought what a douche, LOL!

Hi Judy , You should've just smiled at her and said, Yes she does.

If you are going to do it, BE READY TO OWN IT ......

[deebra]

I was in Payless and Burlington recently trying on and walking in pumps when some middle age and senior female shoppers appeared and noticed what I was trying on and then walking the aisle in them. Both groups complimented me on how well I walked in heels and said they couldn't so I asked them what they thought of a male wearing female shoes. Both said they saw nothing wrong with it and they went very nicely under my boot cut girl jeans. A SA in Penney's also spotted me in girl jeans and boots and complimented me. Of course all of this made me feel great. Two SA's at different stores suggested I wear the shoes into the mall as I left the store, she said wear them, anything goes in the mall.

The middle and senior age group as well as the SA's that were not at all shocked but sincerely complimentary ??? Makes one think, if they are so O.K. with the crossover is the rest of the public too, are we fooling ourselves thinking there are more non-accepting than there really are??? Should we be out and about more; to be seen more to achieve public acceptance???

[StarrOfDelite]

Great job on how you handled it!

At places like Steinmart and K-Mart and Sears, which have shoes sitting out as full pairs in their original boxes it is usually a no-hassle alternative to take them to the men's dressing room if one is in drab. I must admit that I have never gone to a "real" shoe store, with sales associates, the kind with shoe horns and polite manners whom you have to ask, "Do you have this in my size?" either in male or female presentation.

[sharonsdream]

I normally shop for shoes at Payless. I have always had good service fromSA. Sometimes to good. About a month ago I decided I needed a pair of flats and saw a Payless across the street from where I was at. I walked in fully dressed in a denium skirt tank top and heels. My pink bra straps showed.
The SA was eager to help and suggested a W which I told her was to wide. Then she suggested a size 10 which I wear in mens shoes. She picked several fot me to try and politely I tried them on. I noticed she was glancing up my skirt and I started being cautious.
Finally I asked to look a bit and found what I wanted.
I handed them to her and we went to check out where there was another girl.
It was a friendly chat and I left.
Probably the funniest was buying a bra at Walmart. I entered the checkout lane and the cashier asked if the pretty pink bra was for my wife. I said "No, it"s for me." She laughed and said really. I said yes and asked if she"d like me to come back in and shoe her. She said yes.
I went to the car and put it on then returned my shirt unbuttoned above it and one below. She laughed and said she liked it.

[Lori Kurtz]

I noticed she was glancing up my skirt and I started being cautious.

Knees together, girlfriend! Nobody should be looking up your skirt!

I entered the checkout lane and the cashier asked if the pretty pink bra was for my wife. I said "No, it"s for me." She laughed and said really. I said yes and asked if she"d like me to come back in and shoe her. She said yes.
I went to the car and put it on then returned my shirt unbuttoned above it and one below. She laughed and said she liked it.

Ha! Sounds like you're what might be called a ballsy girl! Maybe you were just playing with her by not keeping your knees together? A girl's gotta have a little fun, right?

[Carmen]

After a statement like yours I have had assistants help me try other clothing as well.

It's good when they can own it as well. :-)

Well stated Beverly. Every time I shop I 'own it' and have never experienced any funny or stressful situations.
I love Payless. I will stop in whether en drabbe or dressed. Seems like the size 11W is always hard to find and when I do find a style I like I will buy them.

The same approach and attitude applies to clothes...if I like it and it fits then it's SOLD!

[sharonsdream]

Was out of town a week ago and had a zipper on my denium skirt go bad. I hate those hidden zippers. Took it to get it fixed and the lady kind of questioned me but agreed to put in a better zipper.
She talked and I told her I had only worn it three times. She smiled and said she would have it ready for me next week. Then added that she thought I'd look good in it.

[Nikki.]

I've bought shoes at Payless a few times, always in drab, going as far back 18 years ago, when the selection in big sizes was much more limited. Can't recall a bad experience back then, other than being super nervous.

When I started looking again online a few months ago, I was surprised their full line goes up to 13. pleasantly surprised is probably more accurate. walked into one store and was greeted at the door by a female SA, who asked me what she could help me with. at that point I thought "what the hell" and said "high heels". she thought women's were two sizes down from men's and pointed me to the wrong aisle. not wanting to appear to be too much the expert that I am, I thanked her and went to the big girl sizes, and found a pair of 4" black patents . checked out exchanging unrelated pleasant small talk with another SA.

The most recent trip at a different store on the other side of town, I wandered to the right aisle and picked out and tried on a pair of retro t strap pumps. the female SA told me she loved them and wanted the same but in black. the guy SA, probably about 50, said they were the cutest shoes in the store, regardless of the size. Both were very pleasant and didn't seem creeped out by me buying heels in drab.

Love Payless. Both of my recent experiences seemed totally normal, like I was asking for and buying regular guy shoes. And it was confidence building!