She's the typical closed minded person and of course it's what she was exposed to in her life.
Society at least in some places women can wear whatever they want, men can't!
So women expect the man to so call dress like a man! the way they think a man should dress.
But then women can dress anyway they want.
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
Judy, Like an old saying, "when the mind is baffled, when the rules don't fit the game!" The rules are not fair, that is for sure!
I think a lot of you somehow got the wrong idea here. She wasn't dumping on me. She wasn't interested in me as a potential mate in the first place. She's 22. Not a candidate for me anyway. The initial discussion was about something else entirely. But she made her point, and it's not without merit. We do choose whether or not to do this. We don't choose to WANT to. But we choose to act on the desire. Sure, I'll start to feel uncomfortable after a while if I stop crossdressing. But I'm uncomfortable about other things if I don't. A dilemma indeed.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I'd pick it. I like crossdressing.PaulaQ: "Most of us here will attest that if we had a choice, we sure as hell wouldn't have picked trans!"
T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Everything in this life has consequences! It may vary with each person in size, or magnitude, but there is some form of consequence. That it a reality that too many want to overlook. I think we all need to examine ourselves occasionally, if for no other reason than to ask what our motives are in what we are doing. That goes for every part of our lives.
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
Good for you, Lela, I would choose "trans" too. It's taken me a while to get to this point, but I like who I am. Sure, I wish I'd transitioned much earlier, so that I could've had more of a life. No, I'm not happy with what I've suffered. But that suffering is part of what made me who I am now.Originally Posted by LelaK
I'm happy enough being different from the majority of humanity in this way. Given that genuinely large numbers of people feel that it's OK to debate the relative degree of humanity of transgender people, and for that matter the humanity of others such as sexual minorities, racial minorities, etc., I have to admit that I am not a big fan of most cisgender people at the moment. If being "normal" meant having the same types of attitudes so many of them do, then I'm going to have to say "no thanks - I don't want to be like you." I hear a lot of my fellow trans people call being trans a "birth defect." I completely disagree with this assessment. If anything, I feel pity for cisgender people who choose to hate us so. Their views are so limited. They do not understand what is really going on in their world. And because of that, they blindly commit unspeakable cruelties on a daily basis. No, I'd rather be dead than be like that.
I'm not saying that there aren't good cis people, people who are strong allies. People who get us as much as such a thing is possible for them. (It really isn't very possible for most of them.) There are, and I love and respect and admire many such people.
I will tell you that should I ever have the misfortune of losing my current partners somehow, I'd be quite reluctant to date a cisgender person. I wouldn't reject them out of hand - but I'd certainly want to see that they'd done the best they could to understand someone like me. I don't view cisgender as the gold standard of desirability - perhaps that's the best way to put it. (When I first started transition, I was depressed that probably all my future partners would be trans. Now? I'm quite happy about that really.)
its harder to find a mate while cding if you meet fundamental
Christians are Muslims and Jehovah's witnesses ,Mormons,evangelist.
Depends on what country and are religion you are from .
We know that places like Thailand,San Francisco, Hollywood have greater potential for you to find a accepting female mate regardless of you being a mtf CD are mtf TS
Easier to find a accepting partner at goth and smbd are alternative lifestyle clubs and meet ups.
Last edited by summerbunny; 04-28-2016 at 03:51 AM.
Sometimes, I wont argue this as Ive had the exact same thought, and I do believe your right, Ive been into legal battle twice over this very thing, I hired a Guardian Ad Lightem over the things I got accused of, this is an attorney for child representation, my Attornery was worried this would harm me, I assured him it would hurt the Ex more than me, I was right, at any rate my meeting with the gal, she said Mike your not hurting anyone, her words, not mine, as I sat there listening to her I thought to myself, how am I not hurt? look at the situation Im in. I have the financial cost, a hurt relationship with my kids and yes there is truth to this. The fact is when I was with the ex, I had a lot of bad behaviors, denial, I was hidng things, I had lied, so yes I had done hurtful things & in return I have been hurt. Maybe if I had been accepting of myself and been truthful maybe what happened would not have, I dont think so but I will never know. If I get a second chance with a woman, hopefully this time I can do it right, the thing is I cant not be me either as this is hurtful too.
Mykaa is me! Discovering Peace throughout from the Girl within.
David Bowie "Don't stay in a sad place Where they don't care how you are..."
Disturbed The Light "The truth is waiting there for you to find it
It's not a blight, but a remedy"
[QOUTE]I want to play golf on Saturday morning.[/QOUTE]
So so you want the golf, or do you want the woman?
Not quite apples to apples, but a think close enough for most of us.
"Well, Honey, I really love you so I hope you can accept that I like to hunt and kill stuff, fish and play golf for hours on end, drink with my buddies, dump money into the racecar in the garage, cuss, fart, stink, dress like a fourteen year old, leer at other women, watch sports on tv while you cook dinner, engage in dangerous behaviour. You know, MAN stuff!"
"I so wish you were a crossdresser."
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
Yeah, if only real life was like that. Unfortunately, women are generally attracted to men who do man stuff, and turned off by those who do lady stuff.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Whether CD hurts a crossdresser or not depends on ther circumstances. Conceivably it could and it can cause lots of problems with married crossdressers who those with who have serious relationships. It seems that perhaps the majority of us get along quite well as crossdressers so it can work out. There are so many variables involved.
Liz57 made a very valid comment, "My question to you is, "would you consider it harmless to yourself if you stopped crossdressering?"
I shudder to think of the harm stopping to crossdress would do to me. I hae a lot of interests and hobbies, but none come close to the wonderful effect crossdressing has on me.
Hi Lexi, It's good to know where the woman stands before you get involved with her, I'LL TAKE THE DRESS ! ...
...
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Gillian, I get where you are coming from, about examining ourselves. I am going through my annual big self examination this week, passover week. I just wish our GG friends who examine us harshly when they find out we dress, would also examine themselves also, and see that they can be very harsh and unfair. It is good for ALL peo[ple to do soul searching. And educate themselves before judging.
If two people want to be in a relationship, then the quality of their relationship simply depends on how deeply and honestly they relate to each other. The will to understand the other and understand ourselves and make ourselves understood. I love my wife, and share as much as she can understand and accept, and put limits on myself, not because i fear, or am oppressed by her judgements, but because i some things i will sacrifice for the richness of 'us'. (sacrifice= exchanging something valuable for something of greater worth).
But if we are to distort ourselves and do ourselves harm to jump through other peoples' 'hoops', then we sew fatally weak threads into the fabric of our relationships.
Sometimes people like Lexi's friend help us to articulate what is vital, what is negotiable within ourselves. 'Know yourself', seek to know your ever-new lover, open your heart knowing that there will be pain, but also maybe deep connection and mutual growth.
Me, i chose the woman, her vulnerable open heart, and chose to nourish and honour her. I also choose to nourish and honour my own heart, (trying to avoid the pitfalls of obsession, materialism, and dissatisfaction). I need to be able to offer her authenticity, the real me as best as i can find. So i get the dress as well. Like many aspects of family life my wardrobe has limits, just like my choice of car, holidays, free time and disposable income. Just as my SO chooses to put 'us' above herself in many many ways.
When it becomes a competition between her needs and mine, then loss is at the heart of 'us' and that isn't sustainable. So understanding ourselves and each other as we grow and age and respond to life is how we pursue our humanity.
Nice question Lexi, forgive my midnight ramble. Good luck everyone.
I dump alot of money into this that could got into different investments
I spend time with this that could go into research , learning and more.
My feeling, after a relationship that failed because of my crossdressing, was that in order to improve my odds of having a satisfying relationship with someone new, I'd be better off if I quit dressing up. My second wife never was faced with the question of whether she could handle living with a crossdresser, and I never had to deal with the secret that I had failed to keep in my first marriage. Some here might say that I harmed myself by giving up the pleasure that I got from dressing up, and from the aspect of self-expression that had been so much a part of my life in the past. I looked at it as a positive choice, not as either causing or avoiding any kind of harm. I know it wouldn't work for everyone here, but for me, it worked. There are some kinds of choices that we are capable of making, and some choices that are beyond us, and some choices that involve a sacrifice. For me, the sacrifice was achievable and worth it. If you can't live without the dressing, then your choices are restricted, and you need to act accordingly. But as long as you're honest about it, then neither you nor the prospective partners who cannot live with a crossdreser are "harmed." That's just the reality of who you are, and if you are to find a life-partner, it has to be someone who is compatible with who you are.
Now, I see myself as much more than a crossdresser. I see myself as being transgender. So, now I live my life as a woman as much as possible. Over the last year and a half I am giving more and more thought to the idea of transitioning. The most harmful thing I can do now is to run away from who I am. For a lot of my life that is what I was doing.
Sometimes I think you can sacrifice to much for someone else.
If not doing it drives you crazy* then you really don't have much of a choice. If it's an important part of your life that harms no one and suppressing it would make you miserable, then I suppose you do have a choice, but I wouldn't take it. How much flexibility you have all depends on you and the depth of your personal relationship with CDing.
* By which I mean addictive behaviours, antisocial tendencies, depression, suicidal ideation, etc.
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