Hello all,
I just had an amazing day today that came really out of the blue. I've been feeling the "pink fog" pretty bad lately but have not had time to do anything about it so just kept on normal life as usual. There is an event coming up in a few weeks that I really want to go to that is kind of like an "alternative ball". Not BDSM leather/latex kind of thing a bit more vanilla but always a lot of t-girls attend an excuse to get dressed up in some finery. I have been researching dresses and gowns online to purchase as I have absolutely no formal wear at the moment.
This morning before work while having a coffee I came across a slinky maxi silk slip dress by Ghost (a UK brand) on their website. It stopped me dead in my tracks. It just looked so beautiful on the model in the photos. It looked like it would feel amazing to wear. I thought about ordering one to be delivered to my home but I wasn't sure about the sizes?
Then a voice came over me "what if you went to a store and tried one on and purchase it there". I felt this amazing excitement rush through my body. I looked for the usual excuses but they all seemed to be missing it was as if all the planets aligned. One of my housemates is away travelling and the other has a 9-5 so if I did not go in to work I would have the house to myself until the evening and there were 2 potential stores within a half hour walk that might stock the dress I'm looking for. It has been over a year since I have been out in the daytime dressed enfemme and I have only ever been out a couple of times before. One of my New Years resolutions was to open myself up to my femme side a bit more and have more experiences. I thought as I sipped my coffee and looked out the window at the sunshine well why not today?
I quickly emailed my supervisor at work to notify him that I can't make it to the office today but can work from home to which he replied "not a problem at all don't worry about it and have a nice weekend". I waited for my housemate to leave for work then wow! I thought let's do this!
I had a shower and shaved pretty much everywhere. Did my make up and put a plain black skater dress on with black tights and black flat ballet style shoes. I did my wig and fortunately it was still sunny outside so I could wear sunglasses always helps with being self consciousness and nervousness.
To make sure it wasn't a wasted journey I called one of the dept stores first and got transferred to the correct dept. I was soooo nervous when the lady answered. I couldn't actually get any sound out for the first few seconds as she kept saying hello. Then I said hello. I asked her if she had this particular dress and colour in stock and to my delight she said yes. I said thank you and was going to leave it at that but then a strange confidence came over me and I kept going. I explained to her I was asking for myself as I am trans and asked if it would be ok to come in and possibly purchase it today. She sounded lovely and said of course you can we are very happy to help with anything, she gave me her name and said to ask for her when I get there.
I threw my heels into my bag (the ones I will be wearing to the alternative ball to try on with the dress). Shit then I realized I don't have a casual jacket so I borrowed my house mates biker jacket that was lying in the living room it looked really great on.
I think I stood at the front door with my hand on the handle for at least 10 mins no joke. My heart was beating out of my chest but the excitement was outweighing the nerves and all I kept thinking was when am I ever going to get a better chance than this go for it!!
I waited until it was quiet outside then pulled the handle down stepped out locked the door behind me and started walking. It only got 2 funny looks all the way to the store and passed lots of people. As I walked into the dept store I had to figure out where the dept was, (all the different brands have there own mini section within the lady dept.) so I walked around twice or three times and started to panic thinking I can't find it then I noticed a section of the floor in the corner that looked like formal dresses so I went over there and found the Ghost section. I started looking through the dresses when the SA came over and asked if she could help (it was still early and not many people about). I'm pretty sure she knew me straight away from the phone conversation but was too polite to make it obvious. I seen her name badge and then introduced myself. I felt really awkward inside but kept talking anyway. She walked me to the rail that had the slip dresses. They were in different colours and looked so pretty as they hung so shiny and brand new. I asked her what size would suit me, she had a good look and pulled off a s and m saying probably the small would suit as they don't have any zips on them and I had the figure for a small.
I walked into the dressing room pulled the curtain behind me and let out a sigh. Wow I thought, how amazing is this. I carefully took off my clothes trying so much to not mess my wig up. I stepped into the small dress and pulled it up onto my shoulders. I can't even explain how amazing the feeling was. My legs started to get weak and my knees were knocking against each other. It looked so perfect and felt amazing. I sat down and put my heels on and stood up again admiring how it hugged my body and fell all the way elegantly to the ground. I didn't need to even try the m sized dress on.
I put my clothes back on checked myself in the mirror and walked out up to the sales desk. "It's perfect" I said and the SA smiled and said great. She folded the dress neatly and put it in a bag. As I walked out I felt so over the moon happy. I practically danced all the way home and even had the confidence to buy a coffee on the way.
What I realized was that if I had more time to plan that whole experience I would have found a fault somewhere in there and prob not gone ahead with it but with the clock ticking and limited time I had to take action quickly which made for an amazing experience and many more to come xx