Getting Into The Female Mind

[deebra]

A phrase from the post, Why Do So Many Wives Feel Deceived states so many wives are totally accepting, even excited about their husbands crossdressing into female clothing. Another post, What Do You Make Of This shows how excited his sister-in-law is over his crossdressing. I have wondered what makes these women so positive about men crossdressing and others aren't. Please comment on "Why these women are O.K. and turned on with their men crossdressing" ?

Women's clothes are sexy and pretty, do these women see their men looking more sexy to them in lingerie, does it bring more emotional and physical intimacy?

[Jaylyn]

This is hard to answer because no two women probably see their husbands in exactly the same light when their husbands are dressed. I can say my wife tolerates it and helps me achieve my goal of the enjoyment I get from wearing my soft nylons and dressing. I different in that I don't want to dress every day but get the urges to dress from time to time. Some on here it seems have the desire to become female. Some are occasional dressers, and some are very rarely dressers. Because of this I believe our wives are all different, mine helps me get in tune with my feminine self but really married me for my male qualities. She didn't marry another female she married a male. I think at first my wife had a fantasy of what it would be like being intimate with a female, and thus I could have been the substitute. My wife would never admit this and now she totally only wants my male side in bed. She doesn't care if I dress and even helps me to accomplish this want in me, but she married a male and that's what she finds sexy and is attracted to. Every body is different and this is how we all March to beat of our own drum. Some may like the physical intimacy and not the emotions others may enjoy both while others find it a complete turn off. Who knows and only communication with each dresser on here could you find an answer to your questions.

[pamela7]

I can answer for my SO, cos she's told me; if I'm more turned on then so is she; this works for both of us. If I'm happy, she is happy for me, and vice versa. It's a reinforcing love built upon the person within - not the outer presentation as such, although the outer can enhance; feelgood feedback cycles.

[deebra]

Jennifer you're wrong. The first post takes a phrase word for word from the post, the second is just understanding and common sense. I'm not answering their post, I'm taking a part from each post and asking a whole different question.

[Jenniferathome]

I stand corrected on the first statement. And still disagree on the second.

I'll add that while some miniscule number of women could like cross dressing for kink or role play reasons but far and away the accepting majority, rather than "being into it," simply accept that it is part of us. It's just a thing, not THE thing in the relationship. It's makes us happy for whatever reason so they are happy for us. They are supportive that we are being ourselves. I'd wager that if cross dressing went away completely AND the husbands emotional/social state was unchanged, that would be fine for a wife as well.

[Dana44]

Different women have different thoughts on the crossdressing. My SO tolerates it and even has fun with me. But sometimes i think she would rather not see it. But then she said, hey lets wear nighties to bed every night. Go figure, although we have feminine thoughts, it is still hard to figure out want a woman thinks. She does tell me I am sexy in lingerie. And sometimes when I am dressed. I always tell her she looks sexy and beautiful when she is dressed. Therefore she dresses with me and we go out together in heels and skirts or dresses. That makes our SO sexy and it works both ways.

[Kate Simmons]

I think that possibly they feel closer to them and can identify more. In many Native American nations this is never a problem as far as acceptance.

[heatherdress]

It is not possible for any of us to "get into the female mind", but we can offer opinions of what we as male crossdressers think based upon our own experiences. I think that if a spouse or girlfriend is open-minded, does not feel threatened and wants to support our needs and happiness, they will tend to be positive about our crossdressing. Certainly every woman is different and crossdressing behaviors vary significantly. And some may actually enjoy additional role-playing, fetish, change-of-pace or passion associated with crossdressing. But one aspect of crossdressing that my wife and I have discussed is the emotional intimacy we have gained from sharing a secret which exposes the innermost thoughts and desires and fears. Trust and communication and vulnerability and pleasure shared together build intimacy.

[deebra]

heatherdress,great thread especially the last two sentences. I just think when the woman is just fine with her husband CDing the two of them can enjoy shopping and wearing female clothing which is something they can enjoy doing together and will bring the intimacy of sharing this with one another.

[Nikki.]

I think Jennifer probably outlined my wife's view on it. She's artistic and likes fashion so she gets some degree of enjoyment out of trying to find clothes that work on me. And she enjoys our time we spend together shopping or when I'm asking her opinion on clothing or fashion. I'm also emotionally closer to her now and more helpful as a partner since I'm honest with myself, honest with her and a burden has been lifted. But if the cd fairy waved her magic wand and I was truly done with it all, and the rest of our relationship remained unchanged, on balance she would likely be happy with it gone.

[Tracii G]

Each woman is different so its hard to arrive at an answer.