Change in Sexuality

[prettygirl4]

Hi everyone, has anyone noticed a change in sexuality during transitioning? Before transitioning, I was really only into women. Since transitioning however, I'm just crazy for men and women are really just platonic for me. I think it must have something to do with hrt, and I'm going to ask my therapist about it. I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

[phylis anne]

I agree ask your therapist does sound interesting though

[Cristy2]

I'm not a doctor and don't pretend to be, but I have heard and read several trans-women say the exact same thing, so I assume that it would be safe to say that hormonal change of HRT does effect sexual orientation to some degree. How much? I have no clue, but like most everything I assume it would boil down to ones body chemistry and hormonal balance. Just a personal opinion.

[I Am Paula]

The usual caveat- I'm no expert. I have lots of trans friends who became interested in men after transition. My theory- HRT can NOT change your sexual nature, but it may bring to the surface that which you have been hiding, or denying.

[Laurie Ann]

I agree with Paula I have considered myself bisexual before starting HRT but now have only interest in males and all they have to give me.

[AllieSF]

Paula, maybe a better way of saying it is that HRT and maybe just the whole process of transitioning mentally and physically also offers new freedoms to experiment, to let one try new things, including sexual partners. Whether the apparently new sexual side of oneself is already there and never explored or it is something new to be tried and accepted or rejected, who really knows? I have met many heterosexual people who later in life became bisexual or gay, and even a few gay people who switched to heterosexual. In reality it should never be an issue for anyone. More like maturing over time and changing our tastes in food, beverages, others' personalities and sexual preferences. For those that have an issue, maybe they have some hidden phobias that have not yet addressed?

[Cristy2]

Very interesting angle Allie. Makes very good sense.

[Barbara Dugan]

Just on my personal experience HRT hasn't changed my sexuality. What I've noticed its that my capacity to feel emotions and feel love has increased tenfold. Its hard to describe but its a great way to feel.

[ReineD]

I don’t know if you put much stock in clinical studies, but some clinicians have studied this. In 2014, a group in Germany surveyed 115 transitioners and found that about one third of MtF changed their sexual orientation:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4192544/

A group of American researchers in 2013 surveyed 452 individuals across the LGBT spectrum and determined that two thirds of transitioners reported a change in sexual attractions post-transition:

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/1...9.2014.1003028

I don’t know if these results would hold on a massive survey of tens of thousands of people and it would be interesting to explore why the results are double in the US vs. Germany.


From a personal observational point of view, the bulk of people that I know have not changed their sexual orientations over their lifetimes.

[STACY B]

Maybe it's just Normal to want to be seen as NORMAL,, Guy with Girl,, Girl with Guy,, No public Shame , Looks normal enough to everyone, People just really want to be left alone and go on with Life. So maybe MtF After Transition fully they just drift off towards So called Normal? And vice versa? Maybe,, We spend out lives going against the grain,, Then start transition against the grain, All of our lives are a Lie, Maybe once someone Transition and is satisfied with the outcome they go the other way to finally be normal so to speak?

An then there is ME,,,lol,,, Normal is what I run from,, So don't look for me to jump the fence,, I like to run things and don't take orders well,, I don't play well with other nor do I like Authority figures,, I like to Drive,,lol,,,

[Georgette_USA]

1st link interesting study. Could not read 2nd link.
Think it would be hard to find tens of thousands to respond. Don't know if anyone has tried to actually figure out the totals, as their study is not limited to just SRS.
Agree 115 and 452 is small in relation to possible size. Would be good to have 1000-2000 at a minimum.

Hard to define sexuality/attraction, not using terms like Homosexual or Heterosexual. Like that they use the Male/Female/BI/none.

I like Allie's idea, I think the transition/HRT allows us to think outside our original box and experiment and maturing.
To Allie, To say one goes from Heterosexual to Homosexual means what. A MtF likes women/Heterosexual, transitions and then likes women/Homosexual. Is that a change or stays the same attraction.

I like Barbara's idea that it changes our capacity to feel all emotions and types of love. I know I am very emotional and loving Post HRT/transition.

To me there is a difference in sexual attraction and emotional/romantic.
I think I fall into the initial sexual attraction to none. Felt emotional/romantic with women, but not the typical Male to Female sexual. Never even thought of men either way.

I have found I can be sexually attracted to both, but have not had any emotional/romantic with men YET. Have not given up on it happening.

Post transition, my sexual attraction to women was finally able to happen, in the Female to Female sense.

During and Post transition, my partner and I had the emotional/romantic for each other, 38 years worth, but she was just not into sex before or after at all.
Now without that emotional/romantic connection, found my mental libido has gone crazy.

[ariannavt]

While I don't think HRT has changed my sexuality, I think I had some issues that I needed to work through. Accepting who I am has let me explore my sexuality more fully. Prior to HRT, and this phase of my life, I would have said that I was purely interested in women - both sexually and romantically. Now, I would say that I am romantically interested in primarily women, and sexually interested in... well.. anyone that floats my boat. While most of my sexual daydreams are now centered around men, I chalk that mostly up to a stronger interest due to lack of experience.

Of course all of this is moot as I am quite happily married.

[PaulaQ]

I think given that we hide our identity from the world, it isn't surprising we'd hide our sexual orientation too. Between bi erasure, and the pressure to be straight, and hey, if you are lying about who you are, may as well lie about who you are attracted to, and the general lack of understanding that romantic attraction isn't the same as sexual attraction, it's a wonder any of us can figure out our sexual orientation at all!

I think it is hard to reach conclusions about whether or not our fundamental orientation changes, or it simply is revealed during transition, since we are finally open and honest about ourselves.

[Jennifer-GWN]

Listen to Paula... She sized me up pretty quick and shot me between my eyes in a short exchange. ��

[PennyNZ]

Hec - I have no desire to be with a male

But I hear you all and it is a shock that I "could" change partner preferences.

Mind you I have only been on hrt 3 months

[AllieSF]

To Allie, To say one goes from Heterosexual to Homosexual means what. A MtF likes women/Heterosexual, transitions and then likes women/Homosexual. Is that a change or stays the same attraction.

Georgette, I really do understand the can of worms associated with that question and will leave it to the birds and fish to open it up and do what they normally do. But basically, new freedoms and less hidden secrets can be mentally contagious and lead to new thoughts and additional unrealized truths if given a chance, and maybe lead new desires and less inhibition to test the waters. I sometimes think that we all have a Bi gene somewhere deep inside of us, but the survival of the species gene dominates. Why can't we just extend that old saying of "Love the inside and not the outside wrapping" to sexuality?

[PaulaQ]

Georgette, I really do understand the can of worms associated with that question and will leave it to the birds and fish to open it up and do what they normally do.

To the question Georgette_USA asked - it would be "stays the same" - they are still attracted only to women.

There are a number of things that are messed up about the terminology we use for sexual orientations:
1. The monosexual orientations - heterosexual or homosexual are defined as attraction to one gender relative to your own gender, and that of your partner. If your gender is perceived as changing, the definitions become really muddy and confusing. And also hilarious - it is just funny sometimes watching a bunch of straight trans women become all conservative when they used to be perceived as hyper-queer gay dudes. And even funnier, is watching a bunch of totally queer trans women try to figure out how to fit into the queer culture after having lived totally in straight culture....

2. The non-monosexual orientations - bisexual / asexual / queer - don't actually change as you transition. The terms are not relative to your gender, and that of your partner.

3. bisexuality is erased. You'll see people go to all kinds of lengths to avoid saying "I'm bi." You'll see really screwed up stuff like scientific studies that talk about women who have sex with other women - and then only talk about lesbians, even though there are twice as many bisexual women as lesbians.

4. Your sexual orientation is presumed, based on your apparent partner. For people who are bi, there is overwhelming pressure to appear straight. Now you don't always have control over who you fall in love with, and who you might be attracted to at any given moment, but you can certainly put yourself in situations where you are more likely to find a partner of one gender or the other, and hope nature takes its course. Given my desire throughout my life to be "normal", I am completely unsurprised now that I was with a woman before transition, and with a man after transition.

BTW, I'm not ruling out hormones having an effect and stuff. I just think the water is so muddy that we don't really know yet.

P.S. For people who care, being with men and women is a very different experience. I like both a lot. But the feelings I have are different between the two.
P.P.S. I no longer care about being "normal." (i.e. a nice monogamous, vanilla, straight girl.) I'm not normal, not even close. I can pass for "normal" when I try.

[Zooey]

Technically it's just "bi with a tendency", but I identified as "heteroflexible" prior to transition. I still identify as heteroflexible, with the flip in tendency that comes along with my transition.

I don't want to get into too much fluffy anecdotal HRT stuff, but I will say that men smell different to me now, and in a very good way.

[Kate T]

Interesting

I agree with PaulaQ and Reine that honestly I suspect that most peoples sexuality / what they are attracted do doesn't change a massive amount, it is more a revelation / suppression that with transition becomes unnecessary.

Unfortunately I suspect that we can only garner so much from clinical studies. Don't forget that until relatively recently for MTF transexuals attraction to males was considered an important prerequisite for admission to GRS programs as it was deemed that those who were attracted to women would not have "normal" sex lives afterwards. We obviously now know that that is most certainly not the case. I also wonder how many MTF's sexuality is still influenced by a heteronormative society pressure, it is VERY hard to rebel against that when every part of society tends to treat hetero (or at least ostensibly male:female) couples in a less discriminatory manner.

For what it is worth, didn't change a thing for me. Always was attracted to females, still am. Curiously I too tend to find I smell men more now but I have the opposite response to Zooey, it is actually quite repellent for me. On an even more curious level I can also now smell my wife more and I REALLY like it!!

[PaulaQ]

... but I will say that men smell different to me now, and in a very good way.

Ditto. I've noticed this too.

[Angiemead12]

I am 5 months into HRT and I am still attracted to women and girls like us. Men don't do it for me and most of the time gross me out.

[Georgette_USA]

Don't forget that until relatively recently for MTF transexuals attraction to males was considered an important prerequisite for admission to GRS programs as it was deemed that those who were attracted to women would not have "normal" sex lives afterwards.

Not sure what ATTRACTION to males means. Does that mean one is sexually turned on by males, or that one has sex with males.
There was NO requirement that I and my group ever heard of that in the US. I and the others would have had a problem with that. I recently saw a video that in UK that might of have been such.

To Zooey and others
I wish we could get away from the terms Hetero- and Homo-. Those terms become almost meaningless with respect to MtF and FtM prior and post any HRT/SRS. I have NO problems with the term BI- or as in myself Pan-.
Really "bi with a tendency", what are we splitting hairs even more.
Introduced the term Hetero-flexible and Homo-flexible to friends, that got a laugh out of them. I guess that is BI- with not even split 50/50.

To Paula and Allie
I know what the answer is. Trying to get a response from Allie to explain her statement, and I really do not understand her response. See my view on Hetero- and Homo- above.

[pamela7]

PaulaQ seems to have it all sussed, as usual. :-)
Having been bi in my youth I tend to the opinion people are simply "sexual", and society then brings about mono/hetero conditions that don't fit. Having said that I just don't find men appealing at all these days, and I can appreciate I'll only know if that changes post-op. I already have an acute sense of smell and consciously smell/taste pheromones, male or female. I suspect any such male would have to be very feminine, effectively at least cd-trans for me to be visually attracted.
When I was into porn, I was into lesbian porn; and that was before I self-realised as to my transness.

[JohnH]

As stated in my signature I have been on M2F HRT for over 4 years. I am still strongly attracted to women. The thought of my getting intimate with a man grosses me out.

Johanna (John)

[Zooey]

I wish we could get away from the terms Hetero- and Homo-. Those terms become almost meaningless with respect to MtF and FtM prior and post any HRT/SRS.

How so? I am attracted primarily to men. I am a woman. I do not feel like the hetero prefix is meaningless here.

The only way what you say is true is if we are exclusively talking about genitals, rather than gender. I am attracted to men, and while I quite enjoy the "standard male equipment" on a partner, it's not what defines my attraction to men.