If we say that sexual orientation changed, that would suggest that reversion therapy works; only we know it doesn't. I think you are what you are, whether you know it or not.
DeeAnn
If we say that sexual orientation changed, that would suggest that reversion therapy works; only we know it doesn't. I think you are what you are, whether you know it or not.
DeeAnn
About the smell, I always had an attraction to Men scent, before HRT my boyfriend smelled nice to me, now after a few months on HRT his scent drives me wild and I just want to be close to him.
Well, first of all, I said I was bi with a really strong preference before, and I still am, but my preference changed.Originally Posted by flatlander_48
That said, I don't think what I'm describing is in any way, shape, or form analogous to reversion/conversion therapy. Such approaches try to convince somebody to be something they aren't. In my case, what I am has quite literally physically changed, and that has lots of far reaching effects on how I perceive a lot of things.
If I was born with non-functional sweetness receptors in my tongue, I might not care so much for dark chocolate because all I get from it is bitter. If I underwent a medical procedure to activate my receptors, and I suddenly find dark chocolate delicious, does that mean was I brainwashed?
Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.
The reason "Hetero" and "Homo" mean so little in people with GID/GD or whatever they want to call it now. I will use MtF for discussion purposes. I will make some general language and assumptions.
Once we realize we have GID/GD our Gender identity would be woman, and that does not change no matter how we progress.
Before the GID/GD is realized would be Hetero with women and Homo with men. After GID/GD is realized would be Homo with women and Hetero with men.
If NO HRT/SRS then which would be correct, I think the second. If HRT and/or SRS, then Hetero with men and Homo with women.
I can see where the terms "hetero-flexible" and "Homo-flexible" could be useful. As splitting hairs instead of just using BI. When I discussed these with friends, they all gave a what and laughed.
I always considered my self as BI after realized GID/GD and later after HRT/SRS. But research led to Pan-sexual, as the sexual attraction to a person of any sex or gender, which includes Trans and inter-sexed. I have to explain that to most people in and out of the Trans world.
For the vast majority of the population, they think in Genitals when identifying sexual orientation. If sex with same Genitals = Homo, different Genitals = Hetero.
The scientific terms as used in the study might be better descriptors, but good luck on getting them to be used.
Androphilia and gynephilia are terms used in behavioral science to describe sexual orientation, as an alternative to a gender binary homosexual and heterosexual conceptualization.
Androphilia describes sexual attraction to men or masculinity, gynephilia describes the sexual attraction to women or femininity.
Ambiphilia describes the combination of both androphilia and gynephilia in a given individual, or bisexuality.
To Zooey
Don't know your whole story but stated "bi with a tendency", means what "Women/Men with tendency" to what,
but I identified as "heteroflexible" prior to transition. Still identify as heteroflexible, with the flip in tendency.
So I assume before attracted to Women with some Men, and reversed to Men with some Women.
Do you see why the terms of Hetero and Homo are confusing in the world of GID/GD, and even more so with the non-binary or Gender Fluid/Nonconforming/Queer.
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
I love most anything in Dark chocolate or Bittersweet chocolate. I think I like the bitter better, hard to take Unsweetened chocolate. As kids most find Milk chocolate preferable. Over time mine shifted from Milk to Dark. Don't care much for Milk anymore. Diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes 10 years ago. Don't know if that has any correlation.
umm_ok_then.jpg
I'm not going to address gender-fluid folks, because I don't understand them well enough to make any kind of argument.
When it comes to binary folks though... If you believe, as I do, that trans women are women and trans men are men, then I really don't get what you're trying to say. If you think that genitals are the sole defining characteristic of what makes a woman a woman for the purposes of sexuality (to the extent that we "render the words meaningless"), then I'll just hit the ejector button now because we're going to be at an impasse.
At this point in my life, I am attracted 99% to men, and occasionally to a woman. So yes, I'm bi, but I prefer to use heteroflexible whenever I can because it carries the tone of my sexuality. I'm actively interested in men, but I'm open to meeting an amazing woman.
Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.
Zooey I don't think we are that far apart in thinking. I don't think we are at an impasse, just different views on terminology.
I said "For the vast majority of the population, they think in Genitals when identifying sexual orientation. If sex with same Genitals = Homo, different Genitals = Hetero.".
Which is why some of THEM have a problem with TG folk. For them if born with male bits, you are a male. Even if you fix that, they will say you are still not a women. To them they think genitals = gender or sex.
You cannot apply logical thinking with those people.
I do not believe genitals are what defines sexuality. I think our Gender Identity does that, and the same as you that Trans Women are Women, with or without HRT/SRS. I just think the idea of Hetero and Homo can be confusing references for TG folk, when talking with people that don't fully grasp the idea of Gender Identity.
Which is why in the study they used the scientific naming of androphilia and gynephilia and Ambiphilia. Not much luck in getting people to understand those terms. In most of the TG support groups I attend, sexual preferences are not talked about.
Which is why I started using the BI reference for myself, but prefer women. So I guess I would be "Homo-flexible". "hetero-flexible" and "Homo-flexible" could be useful but I think the vast non TG population does not think in those terms. Even some of the TG, both TS and CD, folk that I talk with about sex have never heard of that. I never heard of those terms before my re-education of the whole TG world since coming back to it.
For me in the Lesbian world, I avoid the BI or TG/TS, as some Lesbians don't like that. In the LGBT world proof that even in the LG part some will not accept the B or T, at least sexually.
Actually from my experiences when I came out to friends and family they had a very firm grasp on this. Once they wrapped their minds around the fact that my gender identity was female and they started to acknowledge that I was a woman one of the first questions was if I was a lesbian (or Homo) since they knew I was attracted to females and was married to a woman.
After over 2.5 years I am still solidly attracted to women, HRT did not effect sexual attraction at all...
That sounds like your basic orientation did not change and that was the point.
DeeAnn
I tried to like men, I really did. I thought it would be easier to get a date. Alas, nothing about men I have ever found attractive, before HRT or now 20 months into it. I can't stand their smell, facial hair, nothing. It would gross me out, fer sure, totally
No change at all for me.
Thankful for crossdressers.com, great people here have helped me realize who I really am on the inside. (formerly michelle1)
Several years ago I was on HRT. I started to find interest in males. Because of bad reaction to estrogen pills I stopped HRT and the attraction to men went away.
My shrink last month suggested I hang around with Bi and Gay men and either dry hump them or have other sex with them so I would know what it is somewhat like having a sexual relation as a woman with a man. At this time I don't think so and I believe my shrink should not have said that. I am not currently on HRT. I am seeing my VA endo tomorrow so hopefully she will write a scrip for patches and I will not have a bad reaction to the patch. I had to stop smoking and I have not smoke for 2 months. If I start feeling more fem using the patch then maybe I will think about males but right now I would like to have a lesbian relationship or maybe a Tgirl.
Last edited by Mary Lee; 05-11-2016 at 10:45 PM. Reason: verbage
Posting Permissions
