thnikning about coming out to sum people

[colector381]

so I'm thinking about coming out to my sister and a close GG friend of mine, only problem is thay both live away so wold have to tell them over Facebook so any advice on what to say?
I'm kinda nervous about it

[Mykaa]

Start a conversation about something like the bathroom issue going on over here and see how that goes, then you can maybe drop a hint or 2, thats how I came out to a friend on FB recently, he was ok with it, be he is pretty liberal. thats about the only reference I have.

[colector381]

I was thinking about just coming out with it my GG friend I think is pretty liberal (she's bi) as for my sis well she's had gay friends it more if she be ok with her litel brother telling her what I have to.

[flatlander_48]

c:

I'm curious. Why use Facebook? Aside from potential security issues, if you can't do this in person, a phone call is a good alternative. If not that, then at least an E-mail. This is very sensitive and personal news, so more contact is better. Facebook seems a bit impersonal for this.

DeeAnn

[LelaK]

Yeah, I'd say email or text them first. Forget FB.

[AllisonS]

I would think about what effect you intend to have on yourself, your sister and your GG friend. When you know what that is, then you will be in a better position to know how, when, and why you are inviting them to know you in that way. If you want to tell them, just to let "it" out, then you might want to try expressing yourself to people who are not a permanent part of your life. I would do it face to face or by telephone, not by text or email. Its too impersonal and lacks tone.

[Jenny22]

Here's a crazy thought to prepare the ice for breaking. Find a good article about crossdressing, and email it to each asking what their thoughts are about it. Their replies will guide you.

[colector381]

well thanks for the advice. I have a lot of thinking to do

[AmberCDinNC]

DEFINITELY ditch the FB idea. I really think that this is something to be told in person. There will likely be lots of questions, and you need to guide the discussion not only by listening, but also watching for cues delivered by body language. Until you (or she) can set up a visit, it would be a great time for you to begin setting the stage. There are quite a few topics about gender identity these days as many have mentioned, so strike up a conversation. Don't be too pointed or opinionated at first. Many people tend to go along with and/or tolerate someone's opinion instead of starting conflict... especially if that person is close to you. Give her (them) room to express how they really feel.

Most importantly... one thing I've learned over the past couple of months is that being "open-minded", "liberal" and/or cool with gays does *NOT* equate to being okay with other alternative lifestyles. I'm just saying this because you're talking about family... it's definitely worth the time it will take to be prepared :-) Good luck!

[Sarah Louise]

I agree with others that FB is not the best idea. If you want to come out, do so with a private letter/email or in person.

In saying this, are you sure coming out to someone who lives so far away is worth it? If you're looking for acknowledgement of your 'girl side'. Maybe attending a local support group is a better idea? What do you achieve by coming out to someone so far away? Is it worth the risk ? After all, it's not like they're going to accidental stumble across you dressed or anything.

Completely up to you of course!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Unless you want the whole world to know, Stay far away from FB ! ......

[binair10]

Not the subject to talk about on Faceache. As others have said it is more private to do it by Email. If not then a phone call may be more personal but could be rather expensive, depending on your phone charges as you could be on for quite some time.

Best of luck which ever you decide to `out` yourself.


Julie.

[mumpossible]

I agree that Facebook may not be the best forum to come out. But actually I think that it might be easier for some people to have you come out by text/email/letter rather than face to face.

I found pictures of my husband dressed, then read tonsome, then told him I knew by email. At first I found it hard to talk about face to face because I was worried my face might give a reaction that would make it difficult for him to be open. Actually it turned out I was actually ok with dressing. But because it wasn't something I knew anything about it was pretty scared to hear what those pictures meant.

I think a really nice email can be good because it allows you to get it all out without interruptions. You can tell it without fearing any instant reactions tgat might not express their true thoughts once they have processed this. . And it gives the listener time to process before responding.

My instant reaction was WTF (very shocked- not horrified). I am very positive/accepting about this now. my husband does not know my first reaction was not positivebecause I had time to prepare and think about what I truly feel. .you WTF moment would have hurt home needlessly because it was a shock. If he had seen the shock it would have led him to believe that I couldn't accept this.


So I think an email or text with a clear indication that you are ready to talk when they are ready might need better

Good luck with this. I really think honesty is always the best policy. If they love you they love you, they won't care about your packaging.

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Sorry for the typos. Stupid phone autocorrect is not my friend

[Tracii G]

Keep it off social media would be the best way.
Face to face I think would be far more personal and leave a more lasting impression that you trusted them enough to tell them.

[leannejacobs]

Do whatever feels right to you, I came out to my cousin on FB messenger two weeks ago, I was in her home town, dressed, I entered into a conversation with her, she invited me round for a coffee and before I knew it I told her I wasn't suitably attired, she was obviously curious and replied the mind boggles, then I just spilled the beans, told her everything, she then insisted I visited wearing whatever I like, needless to say I went fully dressed, she was fantastic and gave me a big hug for being so brave, like you I'm tempted to tell my sister too but I'm a bit more weary there, I started very young and wore some of her clothes, I'd hate for her to feel violated in any way, tread carefully but I'm sure it will be fine whatever you decide, good luck.

[colector381]

yes i maybe should have said on FB messenger there is that risk as I did where sum of my sis's things so much to be thort on I was thinking msg. as whene I see my sis its allways with the famly (her husband, kids and our perants) as I live with them and they dont know

[flatlander_48]

c:

Independent of which method you use, be prepared for the possibility that your story will go beyond those few that you told. Not saying that people will pass secrets on purpose, but things slip unintentionally. When that happens, it helps to have given it some thought beforehand. Your credibility improves when people get the sense that you are serious about what you are telling them and not just throwing out words. If people don't get the significance of this for you, it is easy to be dismissed as spurious B/S.

DeeAnn

[Teresa]

Collector,
It's often been said that once the words are spoken they can't be retracted . So think hard why you need to do it, if I couldn't do it personally I would tell them by letter or Email. Nowdays I usually attach a picture, it gives the message of it not being a game or prank but it's something serious you have to live with.
Most of us go down that road , it's part of coming to terms with it, very few react badly.

[Molly James]

Hi,

However, you decide to do it, it pays to have thought things through so that you can be prepared for the inevitable questions - CD'ing is a Pandora's Box that once opened cannot be closed or closeted!

Good luck.

Molly.