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Thread: Bathroom bills and other laws , discussion thread

  1. #201
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    when i was in high school the girls locker room was worst than the boys

  2. #202
    New Member CrystalSparrowe's Avatar
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    I hear about the supposed danger we pose to GGs in the bathroom. What about the dangers posed to us while passing if we use the men's bathroom? I would rather face a questioning look for another woman, than thedirty looks or sexual harassment from a man. Especially if they actually think I am a real woman.

  3. #203
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Huff Post has a good sense of humor.

    Here's another humorous one, and this one has pictures!

    http://towndock.net/newsextra/bathro...liance-officer
    Last edited by Rianna Humble; 10-27-2016 at 07:04 AM. Reason: Referenced post no longer available
    Reine

  4. #204
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayeLefaye View Post
    This just in, regarding NC's Gov: https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/4b139b9...t-release.html....
    And here is the best quote: "A majority of North Carolinians say the law has hurt the state’s economy."

    Goodbye nonsense laws.

  5. #205
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    I am amazed here how many crossdressers don't see that a law against one section of is a law against all of us.
    I've come to see the light on that, in my own odd way...


    One time a group of friends (GG's & gay males) & I were at a hetero bar. And I gotta admit that I was looking pretty "legit" that night.

    But being a CD'er, I personally had no issue with using the men's room.


    Well, apparently some male stranger did -- as he politely told me as I exited that this was the men's room, and that the women's was around the corner. Um, what?? LOL

    One in my group saw what happened, and afterwards told me that I really should be using the women's room for the rest of the night. I thought they were kidding around, but three others who were part of the conversation genuinely agreed.


    I honestly didn't want to, out of respect for the GG's. But looking back, I suppose there was no way in heck I was going to be able to pass as a *guy* whatsoever that night, ha!

    And so, I used the women's room the rest of our time there. It was just a "single," so there was no issue with that. But one time as I exited, there was a GG outside the door, waiting her turn. We exchanged the "polite smile" thing -- I have no idea if I was read or not on that one. But nothing out of the ordinary that I felt, anyway.


    So, 5 to 6 people (call it 5 & a half, to be safe?) "polled" -- basically everyone -- saw no issue with me using the women's room. Even though I didn't want to, I kind of had no choice, since that microcosm of society expected it in order to keep things running smoothly for everyone there.

    Obviously I was going to defer to that -- and not some law that I may have apparently been breaking. I suppose it's all about using good judgement in these situations. And trying to legislate that as a "one-size-fits-all" just doesn't work!

  6. #206
    Junior Member PeggyNell's Avatar
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    What I don't understand is why the media is targeting transwomen? I heard nothing about CD men, I honestly haven't stayed on top of the topic either . I have not personally had to face this decision yet. But I agree that if in a vanilla bar, restaurant Etc. If you look like a female go to the women's room, this would make you less of a target than obviously going to the men's. But the problem is not us it is "Them". The general public doesn't and in my opinion do not want to under stand CD and TG people. That is my 2cents

  7. #207
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Have not read the thread in depth, but know that NC's HB2 is not only about the bathroom. It was designed to stop any recourse against the state for firing anyone! That is right if you were female they could fire you for that and you would not have a leg to stand on in a court case. Yes it was mostly directed at the LGBTQ+ community but also all state employees. They are using Charlotte's nondiscrimination law as an excuse. THe state says that Charlotte has overstepped because they have a stronger nondiscrimination law than the state. BUT,using their logic they overstepped because of federal laws that they are ignoring. If this bill(HB2) did not become an issue nobody would have thought twice about a transwoman using the ladies room-how many had used it before the bill even existed. This is just a bunch of political manuevering. IMHO Hugs Lana Mae
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  8. #208
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeggyNell View Post
    What I don't understand is why the media is targeting transwomen? I heard nothing about CD men, I honestly haven't stayed on top of the topic either . I have not personally had to face this decision yet. But I agree that if in a vanilla bar, restaurant Etc. If you look like a female go to the women's room, this would make you less of a target than obviously going to the men's. But the problem is not us it is "Them". The general public doesn't and in my opinion do not want to under stand CD and TG people. That is my 2cents
    Question--are you suggesting that it is perfectly acceptable for cross-dressing men to use women's restrooms?

    Also, out of curiosity--if a man is a transvestite and/or a cross-dresser, how likely is he to eventually get beaten up if he uses the men's restrooms on a regular basis?

    Any thoughts on this?

  9. #209
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Was reading today that the Texas legislature is planning on doing a similar bill in Texas in the 2017 session. Small business
    groups have come out against any such bill saying it will hurt business. This being such a conservative state I fear they may
    pass this discrimatory bill.
    I hope that others will recognize the damage this has done in NC and keep this from happening here
    Leigh

  10. #210
    happy and complete kkaye's Avatar
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    Before any of this, I just used it before, I left. Really, I had to because of the maximum tuck, I do, But never the less. I am a man, I belong in the mensroom,

  11. #211
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    I agree with what your saying and I too try to avoid needed to go when I'm out but if nature calls when I'm dressed I just don't feel comfortable in a men's room

  12. #212
    Pooh Bear Judith96a's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Futurist View Post
    Question--are you suggesting that it is perfectly acceptable for cross-dressing men to use women's restrooms?

    Also, out of curiosity--if a man is a transvestite and/or a cross-dresser, how likely is he to eventually get beaten up if he uses the men's restrooms on a regular basis?

    Any thoughts on this?
    I wonder what male legislators imagine goes on in a ladies restroom - specifically what a man in a ladies restroom might see that he's not meant to!
    If I'm dressed as a woman then I use the 'ladies'. I go into a stall like everyone else, do what needs doing, wash up, possibly tidy hair / makeup and exit (stage left?, never with pursuing bear). The one and only time on which I attempted to use the 'gents' while wearing a dress, the 6' 4" linebacker attendant redirected me to the 'ladies'!

    Interesting anecdote - make of it what you will... A couple of weeks ago I was driving up to Milton Keynes and needed to 'go'. So i pulled in at the Motorway services and headed for the 'ladies'. As I walked into the 'ladies' a youngish woman (30s?) was coming out. We were close enough that she must have known that I was a cross dresser, she couldn't possibly have been fooled. She met my glance and smiled, broadly. And went on her way. No drama.

  13. #213
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    "The one and only time on which I attempted to use the 'gents' while wearing a dress, the 6' 4" linebacker attendant redirected me to the 'ladies'!"


    This is why I had started to use the women's after my 1st experience, as noted above. I really didn't want any trouble from anyone -- including those who could potentially & erroneously think I might be using the men's room to do certain, um, things with guys. Even if by some chance the guys in there at the time didn't have any issue with me going into the men's, I still wouldn't have wanted someone who saw that to go complaining to an establishment's management that there was "some chick who keeps using the men's room" and turning it into this big embarrassingly awkward scene.

    For the times I looked pretty legit (which was fairly often ) when all dolled-up, I just used the women's. Get in, get out, don't be a weirdo creep. Maybe I was just lucky, or maybe they thought I looked "convincing enough" and/or thought I was transitioning or something, and there were never any obvious outward issues from others with me doing so. And that doesn't mean I particularly cared to use the women's, but it was pretty much the lesser of two evils for me.


    I will say it again for anyone reading: There will always be pros & cons to whatever you decide, so take it on a case-by-case basis, and use your good judgement. And if you're out with friends or whatever, ask their honest & genuine opinions first.

  14. #214
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    Only when I am non binary would I ever consider using the men's room. I have had a few stares when I do. But as a fem guy one can get away with it. But if I have makeup on, a skirt heels, boots,bra and ladies top I use the ladies room and go and do my brininess and get out. Never got called for it anytime.
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  15. #215
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judith96a View Post
    I wonder what male legislators imagine goes on in a ladies restroom - specifically what a man in a ladies restroom might see that he's not meant to!
    I don't really care what male legislators think, but have you considered that the issue may not always be what the man in the ladies room is going to see, but rather what their presence means to the women inside? I have personally observed CDs (and various other types of self-identified "transfeminine" people) in women's restrooms behaving inappropriately, and frankly, in pretty discomforting ways typical of men. I was uncomfortable, and so were the other women in there. if a man was behaving that way on the street, I'd walk away as quickly as possible, and it doesn't get more comfortable when that's in my bathroom.

    Editing to add/clarify... I know not all CDs/etc. would behave that way. I'm just pointing out that ENOUGH do such that the concern is not completely unfounded, and it's worth discussion.

    I'm 110% for trans men and women who have legally/medically transitioned using the appropriate facilities for their gender, and having their legal gender marker respected. When it comes to situations where men can self-identify as a woman any time it's convenient for them... Not so much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dana44 View Post
    Only when I am non binary would I ever consider using the men's room.
    Non-binary typically refers to an identity, not a mode of dress. Which are you talking about?
    Last edited by Zooey; 10-28-2016 at 03:41 PM.
    Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.

  16. #216
    its important mykell's Avatar
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    the supreme court has decided too go forward with a case from Virginia, its such a shame this youth has to go through all this at all, personally i feel we just have to forgo the whole mens and ladies designation and just have bathrooms, first come first served, will solve a whole bunch of silliness.....

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...rimm/92267210/
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  17. #217
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zooey View Post
    I have personally observed CDs (and various other types of self-identified "transfeminine" people) in women's restrooms behaving inappropriately, and frankly, in pretty discomforting ways typical of men. I was uncomfortable, and so were the other women in there. if a man was behaving that way on the street, I'd walk away as quickly as possible, and it doesn't get more comfortable when that's in my bathroom.

    Editing to add/clarify... I know not all CDs/etc. would behave that way. I'm just pointing out that ENOUGH do such that the concern is not completely unfounded, and it's worth discussion.

    Understood, Zooey.

    I've read about stories, usually more often with dressing rooms, with that kind of stuff going on. And believe me, it pisses me off.

    It can make things that much more difficult, adding fuel to the fire, and help push those who are on the fence, over to the wrong side. Because oftentimes, it's the negative stuff that usually makes the news -- not all the non-incidents. And this is just when it's regarding trans-people, who absolutely have every right to be there... But never mind someone like me who *isn't* transitioning, which I also try to keep in mind when doing this.


    Prior to my incident of a guy with a surprised look on his face & telling me the women's room was around the corner, I honestly had no qualms with using the men's room when I would go out & present as female -- but others could & even sort of did once have an issue.

    Personally, I'd rather make the guys uncomfortable than the women, ha! At other times I've used the men's room like that, but it was Halloween at a hetero club, for example, and there were a couple guys in there (I used a stall), as the women's room had a line. Nobody said or did anything. Again: In, out & not be a weirdo creep, even in there. And I think maybe it was in that particular scenario where it was like, "Eh, whatever, I guess maybe that *wasn't* a chick? ," to them.


    But when all your friends (GG's & males), even the level-headed ones, tell you that you *need* to be using the women's room the rest of the night, yeah, you might want to take that into consideration.

  18. #218
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
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    Has anyone else read this?

    Why You Shouldn’t Use Transgender Pronouns
    http://thefederalist.com/2016/10/18/...ender-pronouns

    I think everyone has the right to identify as they choose, partly because the mind is the realm of identity; the body isn't. I also think as the author emphasizes that everyone has the right to use whatever pronoun they choose for others, although it's dangerous to intentionally insult anyone. We have free speech, so we have the right to insult others, as long as it's not slander etc.

    The author thinks TG pronouns threaten to disconnect language from reality, which I think is absurd. He also apparently finds it important to identify people by the sex of their physical bodies, but I fail to see any importance in that.

    To me it looks like making mountains out of molehills (which I think means imagining molehills to be mountains).
    T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"

  19. #219
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    After reading this, I do not care what the law says. As long as I look legit I'm going into the ladies restroom. I will do my business and get out, but I won't be beaten up because it having to use the restroom.

    You all know how cruel people can be especially men au is rather just go into the ladies when I look like a lady

  20. #220
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    Define "legit".
    Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.

  21. #221
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Here in Australia it seems to be a non-issue. people here simply use the bathrooms of their choice and no one seems to be troubled by this. i think that because it has become a political issue in the USA that it now is on lots of people's agenda (no pun intended) its really DADT here and seems to be fine.

    I have used the ladies when dressed in Australia as well as in San Fran numerous times and never had the slightest issue.
    Last edited by Becky Blue; 12-14-2016 at 05:45 AM.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  22. #222
    A Cutie With A Hot Bootie Tammie.J.Swenson's Avatar
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    DODT not familar with this term ...is it an AUSSIE acronym?

  23. #223
    Aspiring Member phylis anne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zooey View Post
    Define "legit".
    Hi Zooey,
    In my mind legit would be defined as someone who is in true transition or a c/d that has gone the distance to present as female ,the non legit would be the obvious guys with the beard , and no effort what so ever of presenting as female which has all the fear mongers up in arms, there have been some alledged incidents reported but given when they occured ,as in during the early part of the lawmaking these were people most likely put up to it by the opposing party besides it takes a hell of a lot more than a cheap wig hasty makeup and a dress to impress me I am diagnosed as non binary and when i dress as a girl then it is a boots and jeans type of girl rather tomboyish if you will,now if I was to put the true effort in that many here do as to make up ,hair and clothing presentation I might come real close to passing as an older lady so I go the tomboy route to blend and still fee girly and as there is still a bit of a mustache I use the boys room , when trying on some clothes at our local targer recently the s/a said to go ahead and use the girls fitting room ,but I declined ,wehen she asked why I told her I was aware of the new laws here in wa,st but as I still had facial hair like a guy that I would use the mens fitting room so as to not cause an uneeded incident

  24. #224
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tammie.J.Swenson View Post
    DODT not familar with this term ...is it an AUSSIE acronym?
    No Sorry it was a Typo meant to say DADT
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  25. #225
    Member Lilly 40C's Avatar
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    With all the REAL problems facing us these days, politicians who focus on bathroom bills instead of the REAL problems should be thrown out of office.

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