The last two evenings I have sat at home. I am in a new world. As a Pre-op-TS before I was in no "man's" land. Gay guys didn't want me, lesbians didn't see me as a woman, straight guys were afraid I would turn them gay. Now, post op, I find things are worse. At least in a gay bar, I was just a "tranny". I was treated as part of the family, and honestly I could still play that game. I could be the "T" girl. But...why then did I have surgery? I coulda done that without. I need now to move into the muggle world. No?
Anyway, I have sat at home and I find that my male friends cannot grasp why I won't go out on a weekend night alone. They don't "get it" because as men, they CAN just waltz into a bar and either be accepted or they can defend themselves if a confrontation occurs. I could but I would lose. Maybe it's because I have had insight from the opposite perspective. When a man sees a woman, alone, in a bar what goes through their minds (now be honest I know you all were chaste and pious knights of the defenders of womanly virtues before but be honest, what do men...in packs THINK about a single woman at a bar?). She is a target...either a sexual conquest, who if she says no is placed into a different category as being cold, aloof or a man hater. OR if she is open and friendly...she is "interested" and now a target in a different manner and "want's him".
I find my male friends don't get this because they have never been vulnerable. Gay males can "butch up" in public. Me? I will still be at best a single woman or at worst the "Tranny"
So what's to do? I stayed home (which by the way really sucks when there is nothing on TV...which is the norm). And I catch hell from male friends for being a recluse now (while they go to bars that have themes that as a T I would NEVER fit). I try and explain that I just can't be alone, in public, anymore. I am not a man. I am a target in many ways now. I can't relax. And honestly, if I wanted to be alone I'd stay home. At least the drinks and food are cheaper.
For 50 years I didn't see this. Now it is obvious. But now the question, as we transition to womanhood, what else changes for us? Things we may have taken for granted?