Should I venture out?

[Rachael Warren]

[SIZE=4]Right, time to get serious![/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]Well, I have a burning desire to get out in public, I need real feedback to know if I can do it.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]There are no second chances for me, I live in a relatively small community and am well known in male mode.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]I am out to Family and friends but not to the community at large.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]Ignoring the demeanor and voice would this look work?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]Sorry if you have seen this picture before, I used it as a test, it is untouched other than cropping, and yes I need better light![/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]I am very serious about this!!!!![/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]A few more pictures can be found here.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=4]http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23720[/SIZE]

[Megan72]

Go for it, you look great sweety!!

[randi_789]

Rachael, I look at your pics and I see a woman. I know in your mind you see a man with wig and makeup, but believe it, coming from someone who DOES see a man dressed as a woman when i look in the mirror, you can pass. No doubt about it. Just let us know how it goes. Any plans on where you are going?

And can't you go away from your relatively small community? To a neighboring town?

[Rachael Warren]

Rachael, I look at your pics and I see a woman. I know in your mind you see a man with wig and makeup, but believe it, coming from someone who DOES see a man dressed as a woman when i look in the mirror, you can pass. No doubt about it. Just let us know how it goes. Any plans on where you are going?

And can't you go away from your relatively small community? To a neighboring town?

[SIZE=4]Wish I could, I live on a very small Island![/SIZE]

[womanatheart]

Rachael,
1. You are very passable but there will always be that 30% no matter how good you look that will read us. Lets be honest - we were not given the fem features. So, being read is par for the course.
2. Travel to a different town: Much less stress and probably increase your enjoyability 10 fold. Go to a large, busy shopping center in Manchester or Liverpool where you can mix in.
3. Wear Sunglasses: Ooops you are in the UK. That might take a good part of the year to wait for the sun to come out!!!. (joking)
4. Really, go out, have fun and there is not a prettier country in the world than England in the summertime on a sunny day!

[Fallen Angel]

honey,you have to do what you think is best,I'd love you to go out and have fun and feel free being your self no one can really answer that question but you.If you can do this i think its wounderfull,But if you have second thoughts dont.Your a great friend and i dont want to see you hurt. Big huggs

[FionaAlexis]

Hi Rachel,

Do I understand that you would be happier to go out if you are sure you wouldn't be recognised? I can understand the 'burning desire' aspect as I have always had the need to go out as a female.

First I think your look is fine but it is a total package thing and most of us are read by some each time we get out.

While I live in an inner suburb of Melbourne - it is a surprisingly village like community. I wouldn't say I'm well known in male mode but I am a pretty familiar face - though there is nothing really distinctive about my features or gait. In female mode, to my knowledge, no-one has ever recognised me - now maybe they just keep quiet about it but I'm pretty sure I'm not recognised. I may be read - but I'm not identifiable. If you think about friends you've walked passed in the street because they're wearing sunglasses or a different hairstyle etc. People do have a specific image of you and they can be fooled by even minor 'disguises' - let alone full gender change.

However it does mean I can't interact with people as my voice would make me instantly recognisable.

However, I think the safest method is to go to another town or city - and certainly when I have the opportunity I go to another suburb where I do feel a bit freer.

Fiona xx

[Julie Avery]

Rachael, you look as passable as anyone to me, but the small island thing gives me pause. If you're super-nervous, you're asking to be made, and if it's an island of 2000 people, that's a tough row to hoe. I live in a town of 2000. Can you do a little thing, do you have self-serve gas stations there, where you pay by card at the pump? Something like that, just to build your confidence?

If the question is, "Do your photos look passable", my answer is an unequivocal "Yes!"

[Tina Dixon]

Your family and friends know so do it, but have a of them go with you so you will feel more confedent, and take a camara, good luck to you and smile and have fun.

[carol ann]

be oh so careful before you do - What do you really want from the rest of your life - you cannot go back once you embark - your whole life will be affected - family, career, friends, home , interests. it is a huge step . from a personal view I would not prepared to risk the loss of my family whatever else!

[insearchofme]

You look very femme, if it makes you feel better start out at night.

[paulaN]

you got a yes vote from me. I'm not sure about going out in your home town though. That could be too big of a step. you sure look nice though.

[DanaJ]

Rachel - first, I want to say, your new look and photos look great! But, you know how we take 10 photos, and then only show one here? Well, going out will be like the 9 photos you don't want to show. When you go out, you cannot control the lighting, you won't have that certain facial expression and smile all the time, etc.

If you want to go out because you HAVE to get out, then I say go for it! But, if it will cause you grief or sadness to hear a bad comment, then don't go.... just weigh all of that please. You asked for real feedback, just trying to give a different perspective

[ChristineRenee]

Rachael,

I'm inclined to agree with Fallen Angel and DanaJ's posts here predominately. Only you know ultimately how you feel about this and how it will subsequently affect you. I too had a burning desire to do this early last year after being CD/TG for more than 40 years totally in the closet. I had to prove to myself that I could do it. I went out for a drive just around my neighborhood area at 3am. I decided to stop for gas even though I really didn't need any because I wanted to get out and there wasn't anyone around. The whole time I pumped gas my heart was racing too. Had someone approached me..and especially if it was someone I knew...I don't know how I would have reacted. Generally speaking, I'm really not the sort to go and invite unwanted attention to myself. I'm not even sure I really proved anything at all to myself other than overcoming the fear to just go out...and that was a lot in itself right there for me.

Everyone is different regarding this going out dressed issue....and the larger issue isn't passibility here but rather comfortability...which you have to feel when doing this. The more comfortable you are with it...the more comfortable others around you will be around you. Conversely, if you are real nervous and overly self-conscious...worried about being read...etc. well...that's just going to make it that much more of an uncomfortable experience that you won't want to repeat. Again...only you know you...how important it really is to you...how you can handle any anxiety, any self-consciousness, being read, negative comments and reactions from others. Not trying in any way here to dissuade you either Rach. We have been good friends for awhile now and I just want you to make the decision based on what's in YOUR best interest here...and not because of any coercion either way from your contemporaries here...ok?

Just think it through thoroughly babe and do what's in your best interest here. And above all...if you go out...please be safe.

[lynda jane hamilton]

Hi


Like you I didn't know whether to go or not. However today I bought a new outfit (see my new avitatar) of a bright top, black skirt new undies some lacy tights to cover slightly hairly legs, a new pair of courts and a new faux fur suede and fur jacket. go gentle with the makeup lots of lippie and a smile and away I went down our local high street.


I felt a million dollars and know what no one bloody noticed and I am not the most feminine thing on two legs!! The feeling of freedom was fantastic in fact I am still up in the air! It is like a drug there is no going back! When I returned I cried my eyes out as I have been wanting to do it for most of my life. The kleenex have been put away now.

Go for it girl particularly with your gorgous good looks!

My best wishes and my heart are with you.


Lots of love

Lynda Jane xxxxx

[Denise01]

Rchael:
If you look half as good as your picture, you will have no problem passing as the Lady you are.

Self confidence is the big thing you need, and to carry yourself like it is the normal thing to do and you have been doing it all your life.

For the first time out, I would suggest, that you go a distance from home, where the possibility of bumping into some one you know, is extremely remote. By doing this you will be able to build up a lot of self confidence.

The first time i was out fully femme, was when I was on vacation, some 800 miles from home.

I am not out around home,, living in a small village where there are a lot of small minded people, but when i do go out femme I go at least 75 miles from home to a large shopping mall, and also some other stores in the same city.

Another important thing too, is dress for the occasion and as to how the other girls will be dressed. This time of the year, it is very cold where i live, 99% of the girls will be wearing slacks, so that is what i will wear to blend in.

Good luck and enjoy

Denise

[Phoebe Reece]

Rachael,

I voted "Yes" based on your look and obvious desire to get out. In any large place you would be just fine. In your own small community, there is a certain risk of being recognized. I would imagine any "new girl", whether CD or GG, would get some attention in a small town on an island. The question only you can answer is if someone does recognize you, will that present some serious problem - such as loss of employment or prevent you from interacting normally with your neighbors when drab? If that does present a problem, maybe you should wait until you can take a holiday off the island to present yourself to the world at large.

[mskilmer]

Rachael -

Your pics look very nice ... GREAT in fact. The fact that you are out to your family and friends makes me feel much better about you venturing out. You've already passed the biggest hurdle by letting them know, it seems to me. I assume they're all OK with it and are supportive? If so, then my vote is to go for it. Will you be recognized by the locals? You know you will. If you think you can deal with that, and you have the backing of friends and family, you should be OK.

[HaleyPink2000]

Well if I may weigh in on this Sis!

I have said it before , your new look is quite beautiful. You should not have any problems.

Do you have friends you can go with while dressed is a good question????
It's better to go out in numbers even if you do pass. People are not kind all the time, please keep that in mind.

I've been going out dressed to a town 2 hours away once a month since last May of 2005. The TriEss meetings are held there. We go to the meetings or to a local business for makeovers etc. To local theater plays. Never a problem. Not even at local eating places. Never a problem. Some looks but never any problems. It's always at least two of us together. Or Husband CD and a wife. Remember the rules. Go with someone else if possible.

I may not pass real well but I try to be as nice to people as I would want them to be to me. Also I don't listen to teenagers in stores. I've been in a store looking at ear rings etc with my Wife before. Teenage girls will make comments like why the Heck is that dirty old man in here. Things like that.
My Grand kids would have mopt the floor with them for talking about their Grandpa like that. But They say anything to make themselves look better than anyone else to their friends. Even to degrade a Man shopping for things for their wives in a ear ring section. Funny Huh? But I'm forgiving, say nothing just relize that it's just kids.

Have fun what ever you do Sis. If I was there I'd go out with ya shopping dressed.

Haley

[Seraph]

You are quite passable if you ask me. :cheeky:

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Should you go out? Yes, I think doing so is a good thing.

Do you have to go out? No, it's a very personal choice.

I think DanaJ has said it best, for the most part.

But there is one thing I would like to say, I don't think the unrealistic flattery on passability and appearance I've seen in general (not just in this thread) is helpful. It can lend to certain expectations. We all want to hear how pretty we are, yes, but would telling me I'm pretty and 100% passable when I'm not, be good thing? I think not.

That said, don't let "passability" be a limit to going out.

I do like Rachael's new look, it really is a nice look.


Veronica

[lawnmanmo]

Rachael, I look at your pics and I see a woman. I know in your mind you see a man with wig and makeup, but believe it, coming from someone who DOES see a man dressed as a woman when i look in the mirror, you can pass. No doubt about it. Just let us know how it goes. Any plans on where you are going?

And can't you go away from your relatively small community? To a neighboring town?

YES Randi
The answer that you gave Rachael concerning seeing a women....well I feel that also applies to YOU with out doubt. I have seen your pictures and I can say that you have what it takes to be out and about as the women you are and have no second thoughts that your not passing.
Jerry

[Ashley Helen]

Hi Rachael. My advice would be to think hard about what you want to do before doing it. If you live on a small island in the UK the population has to be small, so:
Can you live with being recognised and outed to the rest of the community? Presumably the family and friends don't have an issue over your cross dressing.
Are there cd friendly places locally?
Could you travel further afield, where you wouldn't be recognised?
Your look is beautiful but looks are only one part of it, walk, mannerisms etc. can all catch us out. Whichever way you decide I hope you don't regret it later.

Love

Helen xx

[Zenda]

Dear Rachel, it looks like your time has come girl. This time of year in Britain it's getting dark around 5, yes? Wear what's appropriate at this time like some of the other girls said, grab one of those friends you're out to and go see a film (in another town if you have to...)

Let us know how you went. All love...

[Stacy Reso]

you look good but if ur really nervous go somewhere where ur not known