Reasons for Crossdressing

[AllisonS]

If this is an attempt to understand you, then why ask if this applies to others, and then when some of us say no, you state that some are not interested in introspection?

BTW, it is always interesting to me when people make a friend request without understanding who some of us may be. Yes, I do make rather forceful points. Have you seen my little sentence below my name and above my photo?? I didn't put that there for just giggles.

Why ask? Good question. I'm not sure. I guess the variety within the community is interesting to me and I'm trying to understand my place in it, how similar and different we are with respect to what crossdressing means to our lives. Generally, you really only know something when you try to contrast it with other things. Hearing about how others feel, helps me. I don't know why.

It seems that some don't want to be introspective about this particular topic, or that they have already done their introspecting on this topic and are over it. I wasn't intending to accuse anyone of generally not being introspective. I mean its not a bad thing. My mother hated introspection, at least doing it with anyone. Sometimes I do it. Sometimes I say the heck with it, who cares, lets have fun. The reason, and the wisdom, of Mom's way was that she was interested in the world, not herself. I got the introspection trait from Dad. The introspection comes almost entirely from my male side (here as I sit). Allison is not introspective at all.

I sent you a "friend" request (which you "gratuitously" accepted) because I thought your posts are interesting and I wanted to follow along. Sorry if that was bothersome. I did see your tagline. I thought it was cute, not a warning. Now I understand. See, I'm slow but I'll get there. Peace.

[Mollyanne]

Do I REALLY need reason to CD????? If I did, its because I like to, need to and want to.

Molly

[Tracii G]

Alexa there doesn't always HAVE to be a reason.
What is with everyone always having to try and find a reason why you do something out of the ordinary?
Why would you want to paint,ride a mountain bike,skateboard? Because you want to and you get enjoyment out of it not because of some deep rooted trauma in your childhood.

How about because you want to?
Its really as simple as that.

[Judy-Somthing]

I Cross-dress because I've been unable to talk myself out of it. I have tried a bunch of times.

I'm planning on quitting Cross-dressing in about ten years or when it gets to hard to put pantyhose on.

[Alice Torn]

Judy, I get what you wrote. When the arthritis, or other ailment makes it not worth it. I am helping care for my 95 yr dying father, who may have had a CD thing himself. He cannot move his body, now, in great misery, and i think. Crossdressing is not forever for any of us , because of old age, and failing bodies. Sobering.

[Nikki.]

Another in the genetic or born this way camp. I don't try to analyze why anymore. I just accept it is the way I am, and will likely have the desire to do so until it's dirt nap time. There wasn't any trama in my childhood, my parents loved me, etc etc. I don't care about the feel of the fabrics, I don't see it as a creative outlet, at this stage of my busy life it's a PITA to dress so it's not really a stress reliever, it costs me time and money...I could go on and on with the negative aspects of it. But, I have an innate drive to occasionally present as a female. So I do. :shrug: The conclusion I've reached is that something went a little screwy with my gender genetic programming.

I mentioned it last week- on NPR's Fresh Air Terry Gross had a cancer MD/researcher who wrote a book about genetic research around cancer. She asked him the question about sexual and gender identity genes. His take was there is a genetic component to both and sometimes the programming is different. I took one lower division biology course 25 years ago so I don't have any education in genetic science and I'm sure I'm butchering his point. The podcast version was online last week.

[ZenladyCD5]

Reading the link in the original post and the reasons given within, I'll just simply say my reasons are #'s 1, 3, and 4.

[NicoleScott]

I crossdress because I'm a crossdresser. Or - I'm a crossdresser because I crossdress. It's the same thing. Using crossdress to define crossdresser or vice versa isn't getting anywhere. I have a strong internal drive to make up and dress up as a woman. I don't know why. That's not much help, but at least it's not going in circles.

[Robin414]

Why would you want to paint,ride a mountain bike,skateboard? Because you want to and you get enjoyment out of it not because of some deep rooted trauma in your childhood.

How about because you want to?
Its really as simple as that.

Holy crap, now that seriously makes sense!!

I admit I think I'm a little further down the rabbit hole than 'recreational CD' (I think) but I totally get that point!

[Charlessa]

I have no clue why. I just know I do it and like it.

[Tracii G]

Robin I am way down in the rabbit hole myself so all this is just the normal me.

[Shely]

After reading the article in the original post, i find i identify with all of the 7 listed reasons. Wow i never realized there were so many little pieces of this issue. I have purged several times and always came back. i love doing it. there are so many styles, colors, textures, etc, etc, I think you know what i mean.

[Piora]

Lets see here:

1 - erotic arousal

This used to be the case for me. And, at the time, I thought that was my only reason to do it. Over the last couple of years, that pretty much all went away. Now I dress because I like how I look and feel in women's clothes. A small amount still remains, true. But almost entirely gone.

2 - relief from tension

Ok, now this is a valid benefit from dressing. But it's not a reason that I do it. Just one of the added bonuses.

3 - expressing hidden personality characteristics

Hmm. Can't really put my finger on that one, since I don't go out, and am closeted - so I don't know how I would act around others. I DO know that when I AM dressed, I no longer act male. I sit with my knees together, or cross my legs the way a woman wearing a dress would. I try to walk the way a woman would while wearing heels. And I do this with no one else around. So, I suppose, in that regard, it's true. But I don't DO it to bring out those traits. Those traits show themselves when I dress.

3a - the androgyne hypothesis

No, I don't think it applies to me. I think I possibly have one or two female traits that might show once in a while while I'm in "male mode" - for want of better words. But my male and female personalities are separate. I don't wear anything that could be construed as "female" when I go about my regular everyday life. I also wouldn't wear anything that a man would wear while I'm dressed. So, no "unisex" items can be found in my closet. If it's a piece of clothing that isn't made specifically for a woman....then I'm not interested in wearing it.

4 - envy of women

Yeah.....I can buy that. I'm torn between my desire to be with a woman in the "heterosexual male" sort of way, and at the same time, I envy her femininity. Her smooth skin, hairless body, breasts, etc. I do have moments where I wish I could BE a genetic woman....but to be able to switch it on and off at will. I've searched my heart, and found that even if it were possible (well, yes, I KNOW it's possible....although I'm not talking about how some of us are already women)....I wouldn't want to PERMANENTLY be a genetic woman. I'm happy as a man.

5 - fooling around

LOL! I think you meant "fooling the world", Nadine. But, no I don't want to fool anyone. I know I could never. There are a large number of members here that could easily pass as women. As a closet dresser, I have no desire to even try.

6 - a conscious alternative personality

I suppose, some of that to a limited degree. I find myself doing some of it while I communicate with other members here. But I have no experience on how I would behave or what type of "personality" I would gravitate to when interacting with other people in real life.

7 - creativity

I have found that my taste in women's clothes has developed. I know what I think I look good in, and I try to be creative in how I put together the things I wear. I choose items, and I am very aware of what matches, and what doesn't; what flatters my body and what does not. In 'drab' I haven't a freakin' clue. I'm a jeans-and-t-shirt-with-runners kind of guy. Absolutely no sense of style. And even although it's just for ME when I dress, I am extremely anal about what I wear. That's very odd, I suppose.

I didn't choose this. Cross dressing is not golf or bike riding. I am a cross dresser in the same way that a gay man is gay. He doesn't choose it. It is not a "lifestyle" choice. It is genetic. He was born that way.

Agree 100% Jennifer! In the same way a man or woman is gay or lesbian, bi or any number of places in between, a crossdresser is one from birth. And they will always have those desires, whether or not they choose to suppress them, or embrace them.

Now, here is the litmus test: who would choose to be a cross dresser? It make absolutely no sense to be a cross dresser. It's not socially acceptable, it defies any reasonable explanation EXCEPT, I was born this way.

Yes, definitely. No one CHOOSES it. The desire to do it is deep within us. Karren Hutton, a member here (don't believe she has been here for a while) said, in a thread similar to this one, that she was "DRIVEN" to dress. She couldn't explain it any other way. I find it to be true: I AM driven to it. It comes in waves, although sometimes it can stay dormant for quite some time. But, it's fulfilling a NEED. Many of us view it to be similar to a drug. We gotta have our 'fix'.

I Cross-dress because I've been unable to talk myself out of it. I have tried a bunch of times.

I think that would apply to most of us. Few of us TRULY succeed. But I just don't want to even try. I embrace it. I live it. It's WHO I AM.

I'm planning on quitting Cross-dressing in about ten years or when it gets to hard to put pantyhose on.

Judy, you think it's possible that when we get to the point where we can't put pantyhose on anymore....they will have invented a machine to do it for us? I hope so!

[AllisonS]

Wow Piora. I can relate to all of that, and written so clearly. Thank you.

[Piora]

You're welcome, Allison.

[TSKimberly]

I'd say I'm probably close to 6, a secondary personality. Others who know me argue a 4, envy.

But... This thread seems to be on fire a bit, so... Yep, moving on to next topic.

[sometimes_miss]

I think the part that bothers me about that website, is that they declare 'here are the only seven reasons for crossdressing' and then forget to go any further into it. Then you wind up with crossdressers trying to figure out which category they belong in, as well as the public always doing the same thing. Which can then wind up pigeon holing a crossdresser into believing something inaccurate about themselves and confusing themselves even further than they are, should none of those seven reasons be applicable to themselves.
Then you have the further problem, should a female partner want to know more about their crossdressing BF/SO/Husband, they can wind up insisting to know which one of those seven categories he fits into, 'because those are the only ones'; then he comes up with something else and she thinks that either he's in denial or doesn't know what HE'S talking about.

[Liz57]

Allison, without going into detail or getting too introspective I'd have to say most of the reasons mentioned hit home with me. One other reason I didnt see in their list is an experience early in life with wearing girls clothes. This seems to be a very common thread from reading many posts here. For myself, I was dressed as a girl in a fashion show in 6th grade to raise money for a field trip for our class. I wish I could go back and thank them. Not trying to speak so much for others as trying to sum up what I've picked up from reading this forum is so many of us have spent most of our lives wondering why we have this compulsion to wear womens clothes. Thinking that maybe we're sick in the head because society has said we must be when our own subconscious is telling us that we're not and common sense says it's not really that big of a deal. For many of us, after a lifetime of inner conflict and self doubt we still can't nor want to stop. One just reasons, 'this is just how I am, I don't care why.'

One thing that is for sure, there is a strong compulsion to do this, pretty much universally so with almost all crossdressers. Perhaps we aren't meant to understand this. Does anybody understand how an animals instinct works? No, but it's undeniable.

Liz

[Stephanie47]

Even though I scrolled past a lot of the responses I find myself in agreement with Jennifer. There is no logical reason for a person to choose to be scorned and shunned by society. In my mind that includes gays, lesbians and transgender men and women, and I, a plain vanilla cross-dresser. My wife asked me decades ago why I am a cross-dresser? The truthful answer is "I do not have a clue." There are men in my lineage who are tall like me. Blond hair like me (once upon a time). I look like my father and one of his brothers. To my knowledge there are no other cross-dressing men in my lineage. Could be, but, I haven't heard any whispering about it.

Most of the reasons enumerated are really reasons to continue wearing women's clothing.

When the news was full of Caitlynn Jenner news my wife offered up a reason why some are non-conforming in one way or another. Is her reason plausible? It may define some faiths. She feels some people are reflecting a past life. Maybe, in a prior life I was a female. From what I've read most kids will lose any consciousness of a past life, e.g., describing in detail things she or he may have done. However, that past life pulls and has an influence on current behavior.

Hey, if my wife thinks my cross-dressing is due to a past life influence I'm in the clear. I was born this way!

[bonni]

It's me. I love it. Simple

[Patty Phose]

I just love it. I slip on some pantyhose, a dress, heels and a wig and I'm feeling great. Love doing makeup and the whole nine yards too but I don't do that everyday.